End of The Year Confessions

bumpuser10199668 · May 2014

I saw this on a blog, and I thought it was a very good vent session.

If you are a teacher/educator, share some of your confessions....your stressers/annoyances that you REALLY start feeling right about now.

bumpuser10199668 · May 2014

1. We have been doing the same thing since August. You know how to sit on the rug. Prove it. For the love of God, prove it.

2. If we are reading a story, don't raise your hand and gasp for air to tell me about something that has ZERO to do with the story.

3. Your friend not sitting with you at lunch is NOT an emergency.

4. The reason that girl called you a bitch is because you are being one. And you have been to her, and everyone else, all year long.

5. It is 8:30. No, it isn't time for lunch yet.

6. When I have your class once per week, please don't ask me as soon as class is over what we are doing next week. I have no fucking clue.

trebekastan · May 2014

1.) No, I can't tell you your grade, because a) I have a stack of papers about 2 feet high to get through and b) you don't really care

2.) I hate each and everyone of your faces right about now

3.) If you ask me if this has to be done in spanish one more time I will stab you with my pencil

4.) I hate your face.

5.) Fuck you and your bathroom break

6.) Fuck you and all the school supplies you haven't brought with you for the 153rd day in a row.

7.) I need a margarita.

8.) To dull the pain of how much I hate your face.

bumpuser10199668 · May 2014

lstrejcek said:

1.) No, I can't tell you your grade, because a) I have a stack of papers about 2 feet high to get through and b) you don't really care

2.) I hate each and everyone of your faces right about now

3.) If you ask me if this has to be done in spanish one more time I will stab you with my pencil

4.) I hate your face.

5.) Fuck you and your bathroom break

6.) Fuck you and all the school supplies you haven't brought with you for the 153rd day in a row.

7.) I need a margarita.

8.) To dull the pain of how much I hate your face.

Scratch mine. This. This is what I meant.

Dear Lord, I can't explain how much this is all so true. I love my students....except for when I really don't.

7) No, you can't have candy. Get out of my office.

8) Yes, I am the counselor. No, that doesn't mean I have to be nice to you.

9) Stop asking me how that baby got in there.

10) No, I won't sharpen your pencil. I watched you break it so that I would sharpen it. And no, you can't 'borrow' one. I don't have one either....and if I did, I wouldn't give it to you because you'd fucking break it.

mrsdanielleM2010 · May 2014

1. Yes, you have to answer in complete sentences. Still.

2. No, I will not "just this once" let you give it to me tomorrow without taking off the points. You had your "just this once" in October and I did not forget.

3. I know this isn't your English class. Yes, I am taking points off for spelling/grammar.

4. Damn, I'm tired of that bulletin board.

5. How am I going to set up new bulletin boards in August when I am roughly the size of an elephant?

6. I'm too tired for this.

7. If I have to grade one more DBQ I'm going to poke my own eye out with a rusty spoon.

Everyusernameistaken · May 2014

To my Kindergarteners: No, you don't need to bring me that paperclip you found on the floor when I'm the middle of reading the class a story. To my Grade 5s, you don't need to come up to me during read aloud to ask me where to hand in your Social Studies, when I have JUST told you that you can only interrupt read aloud for emergencies
Can you tell I HATE being interrupted when I'm reading aloud??

nilvero · May 2014

1. No you cannot talk with your friends during your center choices. Yes you still should read during read to self, hence the name!

2. No you may not use the restroom when you jus used it!

3. Why, I had no idea that we dance in the lunchroom line! Thanks for showing me!

4. Voice level 0 does not mean that you can whisper with your friends.

5. On that note, when I say whisper, doesn't mean scream like a hyena.

6. You finished your end of the year test already? In 20 minutes? Why I'm sure you did great!

7. I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep.

bumpuser10199668 · May 2014

Just wanted you ladies to know, I am reading these from work before my first class, and I am DYING. Thank you. Seriously

trebekastan · May 2014

lstrejcek said:

1.) No, I can't tell you your grade, because a) I have a stack of papers about 2 feet high to get through and b) you don't really care

2.) I hate each and everyone of your faces right about now

3.) If you ask me if this has to be done in spanish one more time I will stab you with my pencil

4.) I hate your face.

5.) Fuck you and your bathroom break

6.) Fuck you and all the school supplies you haven't brought with you for the 153rd day in a row.

7.) I need a margarita.

8.) To dull the pain of how much I hate your face.

9.) The project I gave you 5 class periods to do is due today. No you may not turn it in Monday. I don't care if you aren't finished. I don't care that this isn't "fair".

10.) Who the hell broke my stapler. And how does one go about breaking a stapler?

11.) Please don't speak to me in #hashtags. You are obnoxious.

nilvero · May 2014

Got another one:

To my co-worker who thinks I am a bully and that I don't listen to her nor do I care about helping a new teacher out and that she feels bad for whoever is a part of our team next year because we are a "clique"...

Go home and take a look in the mirror. You don't listen, you don't participate and I've tried to help only to have you cut me off. Thanks for throwing me under the bus today to our admin. That's going to make all of us really like you! I pride myself on being a mentor to new teachers and you saying that really cut to the core.

14 school days... I can do it!

saraeric · May 2014

We have 3.5 school days left...I think I will cry tears of joy, it's been a rough year! My confession: we are doing nothing academic for the rest of the year. We watched Charlotte's Web yesterday (read the book so it's legit) and will be watching Wall-E on Wednesday (we study recycling...so it's connected...right?). I am literally DONE with everything I need to do for the end of year/ beginning of next year and have zero motivation to do anything else so while my students work on mulitplication review pages or reading to self, I will sit at my desk, staring at nothing. I've earned it.

Bonnesetter27 · May 2014

To my Kindergarteners:
1. Stop eating crayons, pencils, erasers, cookies out of the garbage or anything else you find on the floor.

2. You are not tigger, stop bouncing down the hallway. For the love of all just fucking walk.

3. You are not in trouble because someone told on you, you are in trouble because you were fucking being a punk.

4. To parents: I know May seems like an awesome time to take your child on vacation but its not. Please stop taking your child out of school for the week I have to give my post-assessments. Not only does it drag out my testing time but THEY FORGET EVERYTHING I HAVE TAUGHT THEM IN A WEEK. But don't worry, it's not like my job depends on them getting a certain grade or anything. UGH!

And while on this subject... Dear Intermediate teachers: please stop telling me how awful it is that I have to give tests to Kindergarteners for a week. I know. Plus you aren't sitting through the torture of listening to each of them count to 100. 1...2...3...4...You're pretty today, 5...6...7 You're belly is getting big, 8...9...10 I have to blow my nose. TORTURE!

5. To my doctor: I know I need to take it easier, but being a Kindergarten teacher is not the same as being a high school teacher. I can't just tell them to things from my chair, mostly because even though it is the 9th month of school they still don't know where the turn in bin is.

Just 6 more weeks!

saraeric · May 2014

@Bonnesetter27 I don't know how kindergarten teachers do it...I teach 3rd and I have so much respect for all that you do to get those kiddos a solid foundation for us to build on. I couldn't imagine having 6 weeks left, we're down to 3.5 days! Do you start school later in September? We start right in the middle of August

nilvero · May 2014

saraeric said:

@Bonnesetter27 I don't know how kindergarten teachers do it...I teach 3rd and I have so much respect for all that you do to get those kiddos a solid foundation for us to build on. I couldn't imagine having 6 weeks left, we're down to 3.5 days! Do you start school later in September? We start right in the middle of August

I completely agree @saraeric! I teach first and I know that I could never do kindergarten. It is a completely different world and I'm grateful that we have some awesome kinder teachers at my school!

Bonnesetter27 · May 2014

@saraeric- We start about the first of September. Actually my due date is the first day of school 9/2. But we had 2 weeks off for christmas.
@Saraeric and @nilvero- It definitely takes a certain type to be a Kinder teacher but I feel like that about most ages. I could not do high school.
@crystalangel79-I didn't mean to start a "who has it worse" war, I just was ranting about the parts of my job that are frustrating.

bumpuser10199668 · May 2014

Meh... I've worked pre-k through 12th. I would take 5th and up over the little ones any day. It's much easier for ME. But my sister teacher first and there's no way she could handle middle and up. Def a personality thing

mrsdanielleM2010 · May 2014

CarmAlarm said:
Meh... I've worked pre-k through 12th. I would take 5th and up over the little ones any day. It's much easier for ME. But my sister teacher first and there's no way she could handle middle and up. Def a personality thing

Same experience - I've been in every setting from a daycare up through high school senior. VERY different conclusion though - I am happiest with 7-12 graders. I hate micromanaging nose wipes for 20 kids at a time. I want them fairly self sufficient and able to read

Soogerplum · May 2014

My DD is an absolute angel but I can only sympathize for those amazing people who teach a whole room full of them Monday through Friday. You are all amazing people!

bumpuser10199668 · May 2014

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

Meh... I've worked pre-k through 12th. I would take 5th and up over the little ones any day. It's much easier for ME. But my sister teacher first and there's no way she could handle middle and up. Def a personality thing
Same experience - I've been in every setting from a daycare up through high school senior. VERY different conclusion though - I am happiest with 7-12 graders. I hate micromanaging nose wipes for 20 kids at a time. I want them fairly self sufficient and able to read

No, no...same conclusion haha. I only include 5th and 6th because they are 'middle school' in this county. I'm currently at a Pre-K through 8th school, and I can't handle the young ones. It's funny how things change each year. 2nd grade is by far my favorite of the elementary grades, though. They are just old enough to think they're big kids, but still super sweet.

bumpuser10199668 · May 2014

Soogerplum said:

My DD is an absolute angel but I can only sympathize for those amazing people who teach a whole room full of them Monday through Friday. You are all amazing people!

This makes me giggle. I'm sure your DD really IS, but it reminds me of all the parents who say what angels they have.....and they are the shittiest shit bags in the class. Some parents, man.

linnsey26 · May 2014

Mine is for my college students:

1) Shut up. Just shut up.

2) Yes, the final is mandatory. As it said on the syllabus from the first day of school.

3) Yes, the final is cumulative. As it said on the syllabus from the first day of school.

4) No, I don't give extra credit. As it said on the syllabus from the first day of school.

5) Why didn't you just f'ing do the regular credit?!

6) No, I will not round up a 68 average to a C. As it said on the syllabus from the first day of school.

7) Why the hell are you doing so poorly on the cumulative section of the final? Every single one of these questions was on your old quizzes and exams!

8) No, I am not available to answer last minute questions at 3 am. As it said on the syllabus from the first day of school.

9) Why do I even bother making a syllabus?!

ashaw512 · May 2014

I'm not a teacher but I did work in daycare for a very long time. These made me laugh so hard, I don't think I could ever be a teacher.

nilvero · May 2014

CarmAlarm said:

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

Meh... I've worked pre-k through 12th. I would take 5th and up over the little ones any day. It's much easier for ME. But my sister teacher first and there's no way she could handle middle and up. Def a personality thing
Same experience - I've been in every setting from a daycare up through high school senior. VERY different conclusion though - I am happiest with 7-12 graders. I hate micromanaging nose wipes for 20 kids at a time. I want them fairly self sufficient and able to read

No, no...same conclusion haha. I only include 5th and 6th because they are 'middle school' in this county. I'm currently at a Pre-K through 8th school, and I can't handle the young ones. It's funny how things change each year. 2nd grade is by far my favorite of the elementary grades, though. They are just old enough to think they're big kids, but still super sweet.

2nd grade is my favorite for those exact reasons. They would get my sarcasm but still be willing to do the cutesy elementary things. Its why I normally enjoy this time of year in first, but my class has lost their marbles a few weeks early!

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