Community› The Bump Message Boards› Childless not by choice
Childless not by choice
New Discussion

CFNBC Resources?

KingLEDKingLED member
in Childless not by choice
I've been searching for books, blogs, articles, anything at all to help me learn to cope with never having a baby but I'm kind of coming up short. Help?

Last night I was searching and most of what I was able to find was religious and saying it's what god must have wanted (fucking bullshit for so many reasons). Then I found a few talking about the increase in divorce rate because of not having children and the increase in the risk of premature death and it did absolutely nothing to help me accept all this.

I'm just at a loss with where else to look and could really use some help if you know of anything.

Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
Report Reply to Post

Re: CFNBC Resources?

  • avioletskyavioletsky member
    What? Increase in divorce rate? 

    I thought that stats were more that people who DIDN'T have kids actually lived less stressful lives and had stronger marriages. I will be rooting around the web on this topic. 

    If it doesn't exist, it needs to. There are too many of us who don't need more negatives after trying so hard and not having that baby / larger family at the end.
    Married to the love of my life since 2005
    TTC #1 - 
    BFP # 1: 5/2006 - m/c @ 6 weeks (natural) / EDD 1/17/2007
    BFP # 2: 7/2007 - chemical pregnancy / EDD 3/18/2008
    BFP # 3: 6/2013 - 7/9 u/s: No hb, measuring 2 weeks behind. Very high HCG#'s 7/21 u/s: No change, ruled out molar pregnancy. Completed Natural Missed M/C 7/26/2013 / EDD 2/5/2014
    TTA with Diaphragm. 
    CFNBC
    I didn't want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference. - Ernest Hemingway 

    Licensed foster family. No current placements. Open to adoption but that is not our goal and as such we don't have dual foster/adopt home study.
    2012-2013: Former Foster Mommy to 1 bubbly little 8 y.o. girl that has moved onto an amazing adoptive home.

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • avioletskyavioletsky member
    .... also.... had a woman say to me today "When God is ready to give you a baby, he will."  :-w

    Funny how God picks and chooses who is "ready."
    Married to the love of my life since 2005
    TTC #1 - 
    BFP # 1: 5/2006 - m/c @ 6 weeks (natural) / EDD 1/17/2007
    BFP # 2: 7/2007 - chemical pregnancy / EDD 3/18/2008
    BFP # 3: 6/2013 - 7/9 u/s: No hb, measuring 2 weeks behind. Very high HCG#'s 7/21 u/s: No change, ruled out molar pregnancy. Completed Natural Missed M/C 7/26/2013 / EDD 2/5/2014
    TTA with Diaphragm. 
    CFNBC
    I didn't want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference. - Ernest Hemingway 

    Licensed foster family. No current placements. Open to adoption but that is not our goal and as such we don't have dual foster/adopt home study.
    2012-2013: Former Foster Mommy to 1 bubbly little 8 y.o. girl that has moved onto an amazing adoptive home.

    Report Reply
  • KingLEDKingLED member

    avioletsky said:
    .... also.... had a woman say to me today "When God is ready to give you a baby, he will."  :-w

    Funny how God picks and chooses who is "ready."
    Ugh. I just want to punch people like that. I'm terrible at keeping my mouth shut and just being polite, so I tend to blow up at comments like that unless it's coming from a relative and I have to play nice. Things like that are only ever made in a negative situation. It's never, "oh, you lost your job? God must not have wanted you to be able to support your family." 

    I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. 
    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
    Report Reply
  • avioletskyavioletsky member
    I am just posting interesting finds that relate to us in some way. 

    It's probably pretty hard to find a blog about this topic. Mainly because most men and women are working through the same pain. As acceptance comes, well,  maybe they don't need to blog about it (or) we just don't know how to search for a blog that discusses this topic.

    Articles

    Blog
    Le Belette Rouge: Tagged Childless Not By Choice - Psychotherapist & Author

    Website/Blog/Community Forum?
    - Does list books on the topic

    For the record, none of these are well known to me. Just throwing it out there. As others read and find useful information I'd be glad to hear your thoughts.
    Married to the love of my life since 2005
    TTC #1 - 
    BFP # 1: 5/2006 - m/c @ 6 weeks (natural) / EDD 1/17/2007
    BFP # 2: 7/2007 - chemical pregnancy / EDD 3/18/2008
    BFP # 3: 6/2013 - 7/9 u/s: No hb, measuring 2 weeks behind. Very high HCG#'s 7/21 u/s: No change, ruled out molar pregnancy. Completed Natural Missed M/C 7/26/2013 / EDD 2/5/2014
    TTA with Diaphragm. 
    CFNBC
    I didn't want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference. - Ernest Hemingway 

    Licensed foster family. No current placements. Open to adoption but that is not our goal and as such we don't have dual foster/adopt home study.
    2012-2013: Former Foster Mommy to 1 bubbly little 8 y.o. girl that has moved onto an amazing adoptive home.

    Report Reply
  • KingLEDKingLED member
    Thanks @avioletsky‌ !
    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
    Report Reply
  • Nova726Nova726 member
    I know this is a really old post but I think it's probably a tough topic to write about.  I know that when I'm having good/strong days and anything comes along that reminds me of my childlessness (is that a word?) then it drags me down quickly.  
    It would take an extremely strong person to be able to really write about this.  

    Has anybody had any luck finding anything since this was posted? 
    I downloaded this book onto my Nook some time ago but never read it, so I don't know if it's any good: 
    Childfree After Infertility: Moving From Childlessness to a Joyous Life   https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/childfree-after-infertility-heather-wardell/1005845190?ean=9780595274383 

    image
    Helene (Nova726)'s book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • KingLEDKingLED member
    @nova726 I've still been looking sporadically, but haven't really found anything. There seem to be more and more blogs/articles about it, so hopefully soon there will be something helpful. 

    Thanks for the link to the book, though! I'll definitely check it out.
    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
    Report Reply
  • KingLEDKingLED member
    I just got my copy of Childfree After Infertility. Some of the reviews made me skeptical, but I'm curious how it will go. Have you gotten around to reading yours yet, @nova726?
    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
    Report Reply
  • noffgurlnoffgurl member

    KingLED said:

    avioletsky said:
    .... also.... had a woman say to me today "When God is ready to give you a baby, he will."  :-w

    Funny how God picks and chooses who is "ready."
    Ugh. I just want to punch people like that. I'm terrible at keeping my mouth shut and just being polite, so I tend to blow up at comments like that unless it's coming from a relative and I have to play nice. Things like that are only ever made in a negative situation. It's never, "oh, you lost your job? God must not have wanted you to be able to support your family." 

    I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. 

    Then how do you explain the 14 year old pregnant teens?
    Report Reply
  • KingLEDKingLED member
    noffgurl said:

    KingLED said:

    avioletsky said:
    .... also.... had a woman say to me today "When God is ready to give you a baby, he will."  :-w

    Funny how God picks and chooses who is "ready."
    Ugh. I just want to punch people like that. I'm terrible at keeping my mouth shut and just being polite, so I tend to blow up at comments like that unless it's coming from a relative and I have to play nice. Things like that are only ever made in a negative situation. It's never, "oh, you lost your job? God must not have wanted you to be able to support your family." 

    I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. 

    Then how do you explain the 14 year old pregnant teens?
    @noffgurl Please explain what you're talking about? Also, do you know what board this is? Why are you here?
    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
    Report Reply
  • noffgurlnoffgurl member
    I do know what board I am on, I typically just lurk. H and I can't have kids though we do want them. I didn't mean any offense, I was agreeing. I get the when God says we are ready statement all the time and I retort to those to explain how extremely young and not ready at all girls are able to get pregnant. I wasn't trying to upset anyone- I was agreeing. . .
    Report Reply
  • KingLEDKingLED member
    noffgurl said:
    I do know what board I am on, I typically just lurk. H and I can't have kids though we do want them. I didn't mean any offense, I was agreeing. I get the when God says we are ready statement all the time and I retort to those to explain how extremely young and not ready at all girls are able to get pregnant. I wasn't trying to upset anyone- I was agreeing. . .
    I'm sorry you can't have kids. Whose kid do you have in your profile image? That's really weird to have someone else's kid. Do they know you are using pictures of their kid?
    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
    Report Reply
  • noffgurlnoffgurl member
    It's my neice, she lives with me. . . I am obviously not anywhere near welcome on this board so I will just go back to the Nest now.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"