Thoughts on Drop off lane with 2.5 yr old

Mustardseed2007 · May 2014

We use a Montessori school for daycare for DS. It goes from 18months up to 8th grade and DS has been attending since he was 20 months. One of the things they do is they have some of the older children (6th to 8th grade from what I can tell) help with morning drop offs. Basically the director helps get the kids out of the car in a drop off lane, and the older kids walk them to their class.

I would say that we have been really encouraged to use this option for drop offs from the beginning and we never have used it. At first I think b/c of DS's age and when we were going through transition with it being a new school we did really didn't want to use it but they've always encouraged us to try it after DS got over his initial transition.

DS is actually now 2.5 and he's adjusted well to the school but he is still shy acting at drop offs. Well yesterday we were fortunate enough to get a parking spot near the entrance to the school and the director came up with an older kid and asked owen if he wanted M (the older kid) to walk him to class. He didn't say no, but he didn't say yes and M offered him her hand and he took it and walked in. It was hardly a ringing acceptance of the new routine but he did it.

This AM I actually got in the car drop off lane and they took him out of the car. He cried for a moment but then stopped when the old kid offered him his hand and I watched him slowly walk into the school. He wasn't happy but he wasn't crying.

I'm kind of conflicted about this whole thing. Should I be encouraging his independence in this way? Or am I pushing him out of the nest too soon? His teacher has reported to me that he does totally fine the rest of the day. I admit that I feel a bit of a loss b/c I like walking into class with him and seeing his teacher, but I walk in at pick ups and see him in his class and talk to his teacher then (they do a pick up lane also but I arrive to late to use it).

Would you do drop off lanes for your kids at that age or no?

jf198400 · May 2014

My kids are in FT daycare and while it sounds convenient, I can't imagine it. I like talking to the teacher in the morning especially if anything is off- kid didn't sleep well, has a cold, not acting themself. But I will be SAH in the future and DD will be in PT preschool. It would definitely be convenient rather than dragging a newborn baby in and out of the car in the winter. So I think it could be a nice thing.

djm31012 · May 2014

I think its all about what you are comfortable with. I dont get why people are in such a rush to make children independent and grow up. This infant and toddler time is so fleeting..if you like walking him in, and feel like he is happier that way...by all means do it..and they have to just get used to it. Like PP said, if there is another child in tow, it may just be easier for you and more convenient especially during the winter months, but if thats not the case just keep doing what you are doing. There will be no damage to his development if you walk him into his classroom at 2.5 i can assure you of that!!

jlaOK · May 2014

It would really depend on the child's personality. DS is very shy and was still crying at drop-offs at 2.5. He's 4 now and so I could see doing it now.

Pips09 · May 2014

I think that is a little young for a drop off. I would not be comfortable doing that with my 2.5 year old. It is still important to me to check in with the DCP most days just to touch base. It's also still important for me to give her a hug and a kiss and tell her to have a good day. Maybe in another year.

Klavanga74 · May 2014

The preschool that my kids attended had a drop off lane and a teacher got them out and they walked in totally on their own. Neihter of my kids would do it when they were 3, but as they got older, they would. I feel like having the older kid there makes a difference, though, and so then it becomes about your comfort level and his, as PP's said. Once my kids got to kindergarten, there was no choice but to drop them off at the front of the school...but you're a long way off from that. If you want to keep him in the nest a little longer, then by all means...do so! You might want to take advantage as he gets closer to primary school so that the adjustment (if he's going to a different school or will be required to use that line when he's older) isn't so big.

thedash · May 2014

I have used the drop off lane for DS since he was 2.5. He only cried the first few days of the year. However, he is only going to P/T preschool so I'm dropping him off for a 3 hour class and then either I or my SIL is picking him up after. If he was going to be there all day I could see wanting to go in and see the teacher for a quick chat - he's cranky, didn't eat much breakfast, etc.

Mustardseed2007 · May 2014

I kind of feel like when he is 3 and moves up to the next class it would be time to do it. That's kind of what I've always said, but then when he went along with it, even reluctantly, the other day, I kind of wondered if I'm like...holding him back or something.

I really like his school b/c they really do encourage kids to help each other and encourage kids to do things themselves - all that good life skills stuff that goes along with Montessori. But then, you know, I do enjoy going into his class. As much time as it may save me to skip that step.

And I do see the afternoon teacher at pick up, but I don't see the lead at all if we do the drop off lane, so that is another factor. They are really great at emailing though.

Today I emailed to find out how he did with the transition and she said he was doing fine but he was saying "ca ca" at lunch $:\$ Just to give an example of how I get updates.

shannm · May 2014

I would use it and I bet DD would like it. Having said that, you shouldn't feel pressured. Go with your gut. No need to push independence at this age. Totally kid dependent.

yeah. · May 2014

That sounds awesome! I wish my school did that.

ss+el · May 2014

My son's school requires anyone below kindergarten to be walked to the classroom. He can be picked up in the car line, but I still park and go get him because he can't do his own buckles (plus, half the time we then walk across the street to pick up my nephew, where through first grade someone is required to pick them up at the building).

MickeyM04 · May 2014

We don't have this option, but I don't think I would do it at that age. I think at 2, 2.5, even 3, they are still so young. And there are so many times I have to talk to the teacher in the a.m. about something--bad night's sleep, teething (we are still missing 8 teeth), diaper rash, etc. I wouldn't want to miss out on having the opportunity to explain to the teacher what was going on, you know? Even with a NB in tow, knowing it would be easier for me to just pull up and drop off, I still would not want to take advantage of a drop off lane for a child age 2 or even 3. But I am overprotective and as DH says, I baby my DS. I don't think you are doing anything wrong by taking advantage of the drop off lane. It sounds like your LO is doing great.

musicalsilver · May 2014

My LO also goes to a Montessori school, though we're in the nido community at the moment, which is the only classroom that doesn't participate in the carpool lane. Once LO transitions up to the toddler community at 16/18 months, we'll be using the carpool lane. The teachers get the kids out of the car and walk them into the building, and I don't see a problem with letting LO do this. All the TC children participate in carpool at my center I don't see any parents taking their kids in unless they're late and miss the carpool lane.

I'd say it sounds like your LO is ready (or just about) to make this transition, and so I'd go with the carpool lane.

Mustardseed2007 · May 2014

musicalsilver said:

My LO also goes to a Montessori school, though we're in the nido community at the moment, which is the only classroom that doesn't participate in the carpool lane. Once LO transitions up to the toddler community at 16/18 months, we'll be using the carpool lane. The teachers get the kids out of the car and walk them into the building, and I don't see a problem with letting LO do this. All the TC children participate in carpool at my center I don't see any parents taking their kids in unless they're late and miss the carpool lane.

I'd say it sounds like your LO is ready (or just about) to make this transition, and so I'd go with the carpool lane.

This is exactly what the school is doing except they don't have kids younger than 18 months.

This is off topic, but I WISH THEY DID take younger ones! When our new baby starts daycare we're going to have to do drop offs at 2 different places until she's old enough AND a spot opens (we do get preferential placement b/c she has a sibling in there but, seriously, all of DS's classmates have new siblings born this year! They have a bulletin board with all the new babies and there's like 8 babies on there. The whole toddler class is only 12 kids!

Anyway, as an update we've stuck with the carpool lane this week just to see if it gets better or if DS continues crying or...you know to really see if MOM can handle it.

It's been better every day so I think we'll probably keep doing it. I do miss seeing the morning teacher but if I really need to see her we can skip the drop off lane, and I also can and have been emailing her...I've been emailing her like a lunatic every morning to find out how he's doing with the transition.

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