Poll: How do handle money

74dragonfly · May 2014

The topic came up in my mothers day thread so I became curious. How do you handle money with SO/DH?

HerbanMom · May 2014

We have separate accounts but since I am not working at the moment and nothing gets deposited into my account, everything is in his account (including child support from xH) which all the bills come from... it totally sucks because I have no direct access to this account or a debit card linked to it so I generally have to get money from him. I am not at all happy with the way "our" finances are delegated at all.

FutureMrsCaesar · May 2014

All our money (ie DHs paycheck I don't work) goes into a joint checking and savings account. Then we each take a certain amount of money each week for our personal checking accounts for 'fun money'.

I pay all bills and manage all finances, DH has no clue. Once in a while he logs in and is shocked to see how much his paycheck is haha.

juliagulia38 · May 2014

After we got married we got a joint account. I actually am the one that handles finances. I believe when you get married everything is now "ours" money included, no more his and hers.

HerbanMom · May 2014

@emilysalley I completely agree, it's become a real sore subject around here and it pisses me off to no end. There's always an excuse as to why he can't or hasn't added me to his account, usually it's "we've been busy and haven't had time to go to the bank...". Granted, we HAVE been busy and since his car died and are currently in the process of getting him a new one we are temporarily a one vehicle family... but I still feel like it's been perfectly doable to take 20 minutes to go to the bank that is 5 minutes from our house.

...not sure wtf is going on with my sudden font change.

Caitlinh27 · May 2014

We have a joint checking and savings accounts but I also have my own savings account where I deposit my paychecks from the classes I teach at the gym. DH knows that I have this account and is fine with it. The money usually ends up being used for Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary presents for him so that I can spend what I want without him being able to look and see.

tyedyeme12 · May 2014

I actually like having an "allowance" when I'm able to have one. Our finances are so tight, I don't know if I have money to buy a frappuccino or a dress or whatever. So when dh let's me know I have a certain amount of money, I can get stuff I want.

it's still OUR money, but he divides it up for bills and play money.

KFED103 · May 2014

HerbanMom said:
We have separate accounts but since I am not working at the moment and nothing gets deposited into my account, everything is in his account (including child support from xH) which all the bills come from... it totally sucks because I have no direct access to this account or a debit card linked to it so I generally have to get money from him. I am not at all happy with the way "our" finances are delegated at all.

I was just thinking how much money I would save by not having access to our joint account and only receiving an allotted amount to spend lol. Kinda like an unintentional Dave Ramsey envelope system.

But that would never happen. You need to have access via a debit card ESPECIALLY for emergencies.

lifesaverz · May 2014

The "mind your business" option made me laugh, lol.

We put everything in our joint account & pay everything from there. Technically DH does have his own account "on the side", haha, for his spending monies. We both always take "spending money" in cash each month, & he just wanted a place to put his. I'm joint on that one too, but I don't really even count that account since he just keeps a small amount in there.

lifesaverz · May 2014

@HerbanMom yeah I'd be very frustrated with that situation. If he truly refuses to or keeps avoiding adding you to the account, I'd see about getting the child support switched into your account instead so you have access to some funds. Is that an option? With all the errands & things we run as moms, I just can't imagine not having access to money when needed.

ugoglencoco · May 2014

We have separate accounts and a joint account. Our paychecks go into separate and I usually transfer into the joint- DH pays the bills.

golfingdarwinfish · May 2014

We have separate accounts and credit cards, though DH gets angry if I take on a large expense myself rather than putting it on our joint Amex or using our joint savings. I bought myself a car last year for my bday and the only discussion we had was about whether or not he could take on the payment and maintain his current level of saving if I was to lose my job or become a SAHM. I could technically pay for it out of our joint account, but I prefer to do it from my own pay checks. We know each other's salary and bonus amounts, but don't necessarily know the other's expenses. Perhaps that's a somewhat privileged approach because of our individual incomes, and I'm not sure how well I would deal with a shift in that dynamic.

notkateanymore · May 2014

We've had a joint account since we were dating.

fauxvegan · May 2014

We have one joint account and I have two checking and two savings. When I worked everything was "his and hers", not "ours". Now that I'm SAHM I should go close one of each since I have no income of my own. We will be using the joint account to pay bills and the mortgage and hopefully use my acct for fun money for the both if us. @HerbanMom‌ you need to insist to be added. DH and I discussed that if anything happened to one of us we both need access to both his and my acct.

HerbanMom · May 2014

riv06marce said:

We have one joint account and I have two checking and two savings. When I worked everything was "his and hers", not "ours". Now that I'm SAHM I should go close one of each since I have no income of my own. We will be using the joint account to pay bills and the mortgage and hopefully use my acct for fun money for the both if us. @HerbanMom‌ you need to insist to be added. DH and I discussed that if anything happened to one of us we both need access to both his and my acct.

Oh I've insisted, I've asked, I've thrown straight bitch fits, lol. He'll tell me "Ok, lets do it Thursday during my lunch break" "Lets do it Saturday"... and this has been doing on for months. We start couples counseling next week and you can bet I'll be bringing it up then... maybe our counselor will tell him he's an ass, he needs to hear it from someone other than me

bty19 · May 2014

KateMW said:

We've had a joint account since we were dating.

ditto

golfingdarwinfish · May 2014

MarBee1214 said:

We have many accounts and the only "separate" ones are our IRA's because they have to be, but we are each the beneficiary of the other person's account. I even put his name on the insurance settlement money after my accident (and before we got married even) that we invested. I feel like separate money that he can't see or I can't see just encourages secrets or at least makes it much easier to keep secrets. I don't want that. I need accountability.

My DH and I have separate accounts in addition to our own, but at the end of the day we are still "accountable" to each other. Having separate accounts doesn't encourage secrets; it's a sign of trust. If I wanted to look at my husband's accounts he would grant me access or bring up online statements at my request. Personally I don't need to know how he is spending every last cent. I trust him to be fiscally responsible.

Does having personal e-mail or cell phones encourage secrets or displace acountability?

Shadow512 · May 2014

Mmc0323 said:
We have separate accounts and a joint account. Our paychecks go into separate and I usually transfer into the joint- DH pays the bills.

This is exactly what we do. Works for us!

amberpro · May 2014

Joint account where all money is direct deposited. DH pays all bills from there. Then play money and non-bill budgeted expenses (birthday gifts, doctor co-pays, etc) are divided into our personal checking accounts. All 3 accounts are connected and money can be transferred electronically as necessary. Gotta love bank aps.

Snoopylovesbelle · May 2014

We have 2 joint checking accounts; 1 for bills and one for extra stuff. We also have a joint savings. I closed my separate accounts after we got married and we decided to make it one joint pot. DH works and I stay at home now but I'm in charge of all bills and financial stuff since I run the house. I like being in charge of the $$ because I can be a bit of a shopping addict. I know exactly where everything goes and know when we can play or we need to cut back.

lp0 · May 2014

We have a joint checking and savings but then DH has a separate checking that I put money in for him to spend as he wants. This way he doesn't touch any of the money in the joint account that I pay bills from.

notthecheat · May 2014

Ours are totally separate accounts and we split up who pays what bills. I like it that way because we are each responsible for handling our own finances and can buy things without having to check with the other person first (we both work). I still think of it as "our" money, just split into two accounts.

amdftw · May 2014

We put everything into a shared account with a slight exception - we each keep a small buffer of money in our personal checking accounts for the sole purpose of being able to surprise each other with gifts, etc. All 3 accounts are with the same bank and our personal accounts are connected to the shared account so that we can easily transfer money between. We also use a budgeting software to track expenses called YNAB (You Need A Budget).

northport6 · May 2014

We have joint accounts, joint credit cards, the whole nine. We each have our own separate credit cards for things like buying surprise birthday presents, stuff like that. DH and I regularly review the finances on an ongoing basis, and sit down to look at how we're doing overall about once a month --we don't make any purchases over $50 without consulting each other.

Galaxy8227 · May 2014

DH has a checking account that his fun money is transferred to each week. Everything else goes into our joint checking accounts, though I'm in charge of it. DH is on it (in case of emergencies) but he has no idea how much is in it.

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