My mom doesn't like the name we picked!

kristine618 · May 2014

I know I should not care (and we probably should have just kept it a secret like we did the first time), but it still hurts my feelings and makes me second guess myself a little bit (though I doubt we'll change our minds because there are no other name contenders). When I told her the name (Preston), she said it was, "Okay." And since then, she keeps asking if we've changed our minds. She says she's never heard of it, and when I've told her it's been around a long time and I know people who've told me it's their grandparent or father's name, she says it must be a southern thing and gives me attitude. (We're from the Midwest). She is just really driving me nuts. She also keeps saying it's not a good name because there are no good nicknames for it. (We don't mind Pres though). And on top of that I will be spending two full weeks with her because she's helping me move to Texas while my husband finishes work for another month. Ugh!!!! I hope I can hack it. I want her to know she's hurting my feelings, but at the same time, I don't want to talk about it or become more hurt.

JSS1002 · May 2014

MrsSparklebottom said:

12jemjem34 said:

We have a good friend who's last name is Preston and she has pretty much threatened to kill us and our pets if we ever name our children that because she wants the name - boy or girl.

Wait, she wants to name her kid Preston Preston? Or that's her maiden name and she has it on hold for when (if) she gets married and has kids?

Hahaha, I had the same thought . I'm sure she means her maiden name.

jg1011 · May 2014

We aren't telling the name. They will love whatever we pick once they see the baby.

But the opinion drama before hand is why we aren't telling.

rlyttle · May 2014

Preston is a great name. Just ignore her or tell her to back off because you are not changing it. When little Preston is here it will grow in her because kids have a way of just becoming their name, you know. Don't worry about it.

JustCricket · May 2014

honestly she would havae said something before or after the child was born. Just gotta stand up to her and say "I'm sorry, this is the name we've chosen. Deal with it"

jod3+2 · May 2014

My son's classmate's dad is a Preston.He is a really nice guy.

portentosa · May 2014

I'm sorry your mom is being that way. FWIW I live in California and have heard the name....it's not a 'Southern thing'.

And who needs a nickname for every name? Many of my DS's nicknames have nothing to do with his name.... kiddo, monkey, etc.

aliciak316 · May 2014

My cousins name is Preston and I live in the Midwest. He is the sweetest 8 year old ever and so much fun. I think it's a great name and if you guys love it stick with it. Who cares there is no nickname for it, you shouldn't pick a name based on nicknames. We picked the name Eli for our boy and my sister said "but what will we call him".......um Eli!

brittneyandadam · May 2014

When my mom expressed her dislike for our name, I just told her that we're set on it and won't be changing it. I also told her that we really don't care about other ppl's opinions on the matter

ashaw512 · May 2014

I like Preston its cute, who cares what she thinks its not her choice. I just had this discussion the other day when I told my sister we decided on Brody for our little boy she freaked out on me and said that it was her name when her and her fiancé have a boy. Then she said there would be two with the name of Brody except shes spelling it brodie. She's not expecting anytime soon but I have the suspision shes pregnant. I'm not changing the name its the only one DH and I can agree on, she gets no say in what we name our child.

JSS1002 · May 2014

Next time she says she doesn't like it, I would just say "that's too bad." And change the subject. Just matter of fact... not snarky or snotty, just like "oh.... moving on."

bodziochl · May 2014

One thing that helped my parents/inlaws appreciate the name we chose is when I told them a saint had the same name. It also helps to name decent famous people with that name. It makes them realize we didn't just make the name up lol

Annsor · May 2014

My dad hates the name Harper. He refuses to refer to her as such. When he sees me, he rubs my belly and says "Hi Brandy!" I dont even bother to respond anymore. If he cant get on board with Harper, then he can call her princess or sweetie or whatever he wants...except Brandy. Parents are strange.

bethybeach · May 2014

So irritating, she is your mom, she should know the comments bother you. But I would tell her just stop, it is not nice. I can't get over these people who are so opinionated about how you name your kids. I have my opinions about what people name their kids but I keep them to myself. It isn't her call. end of story.

peanutbuttervibes · May 2014

Love the name!

softsoprano · May 2014

My MIL tried to tell us we should think of a different first or middle name, not because she didn't like it but because her initials will be BJ. Umm, no. We spent a LOT of time deciding on this name and we're not changing it. IF she gets teased because of her first and middle initial (which how often are kids even aware of the middle initial?), she'll have to learn to deal with it, just the same as if she gets teased for something else entirely stupid. MIL brought it up again a few weeks later and DH and I let her know we were not changing it, and she hasn't said anything since.

TA110980 · May 2014

I live in the Midwest and my neighbor (grown man) is named Preston. So it's not that unusual. I'd just shut her down next time she brings it up and tell her the decision is final and is no longer up for discussion. Also, how would she feel if you continually questioned her on the name she wants to be called (grandma, gigi, etc.)? I'm sorry you're dealing with this. People are clueless.

Blemaro · May 2014

softsoprano

My first 2 initials are BJ and I was rarely teased about it. It really didn't come up often. My husband thinks it's pretty awesome though

chardonnay24 · May 2014

We're not telling my ILs because I know they won't like it. When we were still discussing names and brought it up, the both wrinkled their noses. They spent the last half of my last pregnancy trying to get us to change the name we picked for our son. Of course, now that he's here and named, they haven't said a word, which is why we are not telling them until the new baby is born.

nilvero · May 2014

Preston's adorable. My teammate has a student in her class with that name. Like a PP said, it's cute as a kid and a good grown-up name. Totally agree that you should tell her, too bad we like the name!

poptart109 · May 2014

When naming our son we chose Dominic- a family name of mine. MIL is old fashioned and told us " that's like naming your son Susan!" Which is my name. I was offended that 1) she used my name and 2) wasn't respectful of the fact we chose a name that ran in my family. I told her she had the opportunity to name both of her children what she wanted and we reserved the right to do the same. She dropped it after that but we kept the name as planned.

wrightpalomo · May 2014

poptart109 said:

When naming our son we chose Dominic- a family name of mine. MIL is old fashioned and told us " that's like naming your son Susan!" Which is my name. I was offended that 1) she used my name and 2) wasn't respectful of the fact we chose a name that ran in my family. I told her she had the opportunity to name both of her children what she wanted and we reserved the right to do the same. She dropped it after that but we kept the name as planned.

@poptart109 LOL it's not Dominique! -- Besides, according to Wikipedia the name is unisex-- not at all like a boy named Sue!

I'm liking this "you had a chance to name your kids, let us have ours" line... I think I'll use it next time people start making me irritated with the name suggestions

katee268 · May 2014

Preston is a great name for a boy. My mom and most of my coworkers don't like the name hubby and I picked for our son. We picked Raylan James and ppl just aren't used to the name. My husband loves it though so they will have to get used to it. I always figure RJ is cute. My mom keeps referring to my bump as junior though cause I don't think she's comfortable calling him Raylan yet. Idk it's your kid and you have to go with what you like. The pressure from other ppl is crazy though especially when you can tell they don't like it.

bardini · May 2014

Preston is great. Sometimes it takes a while for a name to sink in. I certainly didn't love DDs name the first time my husband suggested it but i came to absolutely love it & can't imagine anything else for her.

mariaculbreth · May 2014

My mom didn't like our girl name while pregnant with DS. I told her to get used to it because if we have a girl next that's her name end of discussion.

ConversationFear · May 2014

I'm sorry that your mom couldn't just keep her opinions to herself. DH's mom doesn't like any of our final choices, and keeps sending us lists of names she deems more "worthy" of her grandson.

I've told her repeatedly that we aren't accepting suggestions - she sends them anyway. Some are just that way I guess. We've started ignoring her emails. I've decided when i see her face to face and she says something about it (which I KNOW she will), I am just going to say, "Oh well - you'll get used to it."

You're just going to have to tell you mom to butt out. Possibly even multiple times. You've picked a fine name for your son, so don't be afraid!

kristine618 · May 2014

Thank you for your comments, everyone!! You have made me feel a LOT better about this and even more sure of my decision. I appreciate it!!

JSS1002 · May 2014

ConversationFear said:

I'm sorry that your mom couldn't just keep her opinions to herself. DH's mom doesn't like any of our final choices, and keeps sending us lists of names she deems more "worthy" of her grandson.

I've told her repeatedly that we aren't accepting suggestions - she sends them anyway. Some are just that way I guess. We've started ignoring her emails. I've decided when i see her face to face and she says something about it (which I KNOW she will), I am just going to say, "Oh well - you'll get used to it."

You're just going to have to tell you mom to butt out. Possibly even multiple times. You've picked a fine name for your son, so don't be afraid!

Our line with everybody last time was just "we are open to suggestions," when they'd ask if we had a name. We were definitely not open to suggestions but it was easier to say that, and then either say "We'll take it into consideration" or "thanks for the suggestion!" to EVERY single name... rather than get into a snit about it.

Linz-E · May 2014

Luckily for her, she's already had her chance to name her children. Once baby is here she will love him and his name. And I love the name Preston

MMason12 · May 2014

If you really love the name and know that it is "the name" for your baby -- than what your Mom thinks of it really shouldn't matter to you.

My parents, my husband's parents and a majority of our siblings have made it clear they do not like the name we've picked for our LO -- and frankly my husband and I could give two craps less. We know it is the name we want to use and we have made it clear to each of them that they have all had their chance to name their own kids.

Just be strong in your choice and tell her that is your choice; and nothing she says will change it. After a few sharp comments like that our family got the hint, they dropped it and we've all moved on. I'm not sure they like her name, but they all have accepted that it is her name.

JD83 · May 2014

Preston is a very cute name. NMS, but very cute. Don't let other people dissuade you if you love it. We avoided this by stating that we had already made our decision. If/When someone says we should reconsider or that they don't like or whatever, the standard response is basically to hold out one hand, open palm and say, "I hold in my hand all the fucks I give about your opinion. Please note that it is empty." I don't know if people actually like our choices, or if they just know better than to say anything, but that approach has worked very well.

deviousmuse · May 2014

Because I don't want to deal with my mother's opinions, nor her sounds of exasperation when I don't immediately take everything she says into consideration, we've decided not to share LO's name until he's born outside of a few, select people (aka my internet peeps and others who have no connection to my family). I have no problem with her sending me ideas, which I will surface with DH if it's something worthwhile, but I won't promise anything beyond that. After her initial disappointment/comment that I'm trying to control everything, she's backed down and instead been helpful.

irish8321 · May 2014

If you like the name that is all that matters. She got the chance to name her kids what she wanted and now she needs to respect you and your significant other's choice to name your kids what you want. if she keeps being a pain then just tell her that you respect her opinion, but your minds are made up and she will just have to deal with it.

Kateysomething · May 2014

My mom hurt my feelings constantly over DD#2's name (Violet). She was incapable of keeping her mouth shut every time it came up, or making a face. It was daunting and emotionally tiring, but it never changed my mind. It was a bummer that she couldn't just be supportive, but in the past four years since Vi was born, my mother has never once said another word.

Preston is the rich old uncle in Mr. Deeds, and that makes me happy.

mirra23 · May 2014

First, I think Preston is a great name!

second, I am having a similar issue with my MIL. It is hurtful and rude. My MIL said the name we chose was Ugly and refuses to call him that. If she brings it up again tell her it is hurtful to hear her say that. Be clear it is what you guys want and she needs to be supportive. Hopefully she will realize it is hurting you and stop. If not, Stand your ground and tell her to deal with it! Afterall He is your child!

MMason12 · May 2014

mirra23 said:

First, I think Preston is a great name!
second, I am having a similar issue with my MIL. It is hurtful and rude. My MIL said the name we chose was Ugly and refuses to call him that. If she brings it up again tell her it is hurtful to hear her say that. Be clear it is what you guys want and she needs to be supportive. Hopefully she will realize it is hurting you and stop. If not, Stand your ground and tell her to deal with it! Afterall He is your child!

One of my SIL actually told us that she was going to refuse to call her by the name we picked. Without missing a beat my husband goes, "Well I guess you won't be seeing her until you learn to call her the name we picked." Then he very sharply told her that there will be no changing her name and that her (SIL's) opinion is just not needed or welcome on the opinion. She made some snappy comment back about how she should have an opinion and I finally piped up and said, "Opinions are like a$$holes. Everyone has one and no one gives a $hit about yours!" :-)

larkin2 · May 2014

My little nephew is named Preston, and he is such a sweetheart. We had one or two problems with people not liking the names we picked, and I just explained to them that we thought them beautiful and thats that. Like everyone else is saying, its a put your foot down situation.

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