January 2013 Moms

Doesn't want to go to school

For the last week or so, DS has been really unhappy about going to school. (He's never loved it; but his awareness of the morning pattern is growing.)  I think he knows the difference between weekends at home with Mommy and Daddy, and weekdays going to daycare.  We always spend a lot of time with him when he is home, give him attention and play; obviously daycare can't compete with an attentive mommy and daddy. 

Can anyone recommend a way to make the mornings easier, or how to deal?  I'm feeling guilty sending him off every morning in tears.  He seems to be dragging out breakfast because he knows when he's done, he'll have to leave shortly thereafter.

TTC #1 Since 8/2010
Me: 34, DH: 35 DX: DOR (FSH 14.9, AMH 0.67, AFC ~10) and Egg Quality

IVF #1 Feb 2012. MDFL protocol w/ Met. 7 ER, 0F.
May Donor Egg IVF cycle:3 EF, 1 blast ET 5/12, 2 frosties
BFP 5/21! beta #1 5/22 306 beta #2 5/24 818 beta #3 5/31 15,038.

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"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." --Dennis Wholey

Re: Doesn't want to go to school

  • I don't know if I can be much help, and all kids are different of course, but just curious what kind of DC your LO goes to and if you're otherwise happy with it. I only ask this because I feel like my DD gets a lot of attention at DC, and is actually bored with Mommy and Daddy on the weekends because we aren't as much fun as DC. A lot of this is probably the other kids she plays with, not just the teachers, but I have never felt like DC can't compete with an attentive Mommy and Daddy. She is at a DC center in a classroom with 8 one-year olds and 2 teachers.

    But if you're otherwise happy with the DC then forget what I said, and I would chalk it up to a phase or differences in kids/personalities. DD does sometimes cry when she is first leaving in the morning and saying goodbye to me, but by the time DH gets her to DC she couldn't be happier. Maybe changing the routine and having DH do drop off would help? Or skipping breakfast at home and eating it at DC instead? Otherwise all I can think of is just waiting out this phase and making sure you're talking about DC in a positive, excited way so that your son hopefully sees it that way too.

    Good luck!

     

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  • It might just a phase. DS absolutely loves DC. Like the PP said above, I think that he has more fun there sometimes than he does at home with us. There are just many more activities there than what I can provide inbetween cleaning, laundry and etc when we are home at night/on the weekends. 

    DH always does drop-off and I always do pick up with our work schedules, but in the last week DS has started to cry at drop off---which he never did before. But then when I come to pick him up he used to run over to me. Now he sees me and keeps playing or runs the opposite direction because he wants to stay. 

    I wouldn't plan an intervention quite yet if I were you, give it another week or two and see what happens. 
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  • I second what @Sep5Bride said - if he has never really loved it, could it be that it's not the right daycare for him?  DD's daycare is awesome for her, but it is very structured and traditional - I know another child in DD's room was switched to a more "active" non-traditional daycare and the child is much happier there.  Something to consider?

    On the other hand, separation anxiety peaks at 18 months, so your LO may just be in the thick of that.  DD had horrible separation anxiety (which has just improved in this past month) and I read "The No Cry Separation Anxiety Solution."  One really cute suggestion (which our LOs may be a bit young for) is to buy your LO a bracelet and give it to him explaining that it will allow him to carry mommy and daddy's love with him all day.  Tell him every time he touches it you will be sending him your love and hugs, etc.

    GL - it's so tough to figure out what is going on when our LOs can't talk :(.
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  • sekurasekura member
    I appreciate your thoughts!  DH has said that he is just fine once he is out of the house (DH often drops him off).  And DS didn't seem to want to leave daycare at all today--I had to pick him up and carry him out screaming.
    Sounds a lot like your experience, Babyhope, so I'm just going to give it time.  I'd guess he is going through separation anxiety--he is now 16 months, and he definitely knows when I'm not there.  I'll try reading the book you mention, Reece!

    TTC #1 Since 8/2010
    Me: 34, DH: 35 DX: DOR (FSH 14.9, AMH 0.67, AFC ~10) and Egg Quality

    IVF #1 Feb 2012. MDFL protocol w/ Met. 7 ER, 0F.
    May Donor Egg IVF cycle:3 EF, 1 blast ET 5/12, 2 frosties
    BFP 5/21! beta #1 5/22 306 beta #2 5/24 818 beta #3 5/31 15,038.

    image"">
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." --Dennis Wholey

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