Toddlers: 24 Months+

Using Crib for timeouts...Yay or Nay??

I ended up putting Cole in his crib yesterday evening for a timeout so we could both calm down.  He was screaming and crying and Mommy was about to lose it!  So I put him in there, came back downstairs for about 2 minutes, took a couple of bites of my dinner, then went back and got him.  He had calmed down to the sniffling stage, so he joined us back at the table to finish dinner.  Then I thought about it...should I have/have not put him in his crib for a timeout?  I don't want to make him scared of his bed.  We have enough sleep/going to bed issues as it is!  Then again, it was a place that would contain him and there would be a little bit of distance between us and the crying for a moment.  I can't decide!!  This was the first time we have done it.  WDYT?

Anyone else use the crib, or any other arguments for not using it?

Re: Using Crib for timeouts...Yay or Nay??

  • I wouldn't use the crib simply because you don't want him to associate it with being bad and having to go in there.

     What about setting up a PnP somewhere in the house and using that instead?

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  • I've heard it's not a good idea, for the reason you said.  I would try to find another timeout place instead. 
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  • I don't think it's an issue of being "scared." Unless you're putting a Komodo dragon or something in there with him during timeout, but that's a much larger problem.

    I couldn't do it because Joseph hates his crib during daylight already. I don't want that to stretch to evening. He sleeps too well to risk it.

    We use the PnPs when he's out of control. Matthew and Joseph watch hockey together, so Matt calls it the Penalty Box, and tells him he's getting a 2 minute minor.

  • we use it for a chill out when he is whiny or cranky, but not for a time out for the same reason the pp said about association.
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  • I used to have the time out corner in our old apartment.  Then I used a copy paper box lid when we were moving. LOL

    Now we have the time out stool. It is a stool that was left in our new house's attic. It was a childs stool that was wedged between the rafters it is big enough for DS's rear to sit on. It has a painted rocking horse on it and the date 1921 so I couldnt part with it. So now we use that. It is successful bc Logan threw a fit the other day and when he made eye contact with me he just sat on it.

  • I saw this come up yesterday as well. We just use the crib for sleeping purposes. Time-outs have been on the couch in the living room, in plain sight (we have an open floor plan, so I can see DD from the kitchen). We started this at about 12 months. She was already able to get down from the couch by herself, so safety wasn't a concern. She cries for a minute or two and then gets down and comes back over to DH and I.

    I say use whatever works for you- the couch is convenient for us and DD understands it's a time-out. She still loves to sit on it aside from that, so I'm not concerned about association. It's a matter of having a separate space (off the floor, away from her toys) where she can calm down and it's clear that she's being removed from the other situation (throwing food, toys, etc.) for a moment. 

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  • I use it all the time for her timeouts.  There has never been a bad association with it from that.  It's merely a safe contained place for her to be while she calms down.  Think about how often we were sent to our rooms, where we sleep, when we were young.  I don't remember any bad associations from that.  Same principle.  I am more reluctant to set up and use the PNP for timeouts because (a) we use it for travel infrequently so she is more likely to have bad associations with the PNP when we travel and I'm not dealing with that and (b) we'd have to put it in a different room which would then result in bad associations with her big girl room.  The crib works just dandy.  As she is older and can sit in one place, it will likely change to a corner somewhere.


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    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • I know they say you shouldn't use the crib because your child might see the crib as a bad place rather than a safe place. That said, I used Jack's crib for time outs when he was 16m or 17m-20m. The only time I put him in there was when he was completely out of sorts and needed a time out to calm down and collect himself. It was a safe place for him to calm down. He always, every single time, came out a completely different child than the one who went in. I never put him in for misbehaving since he didn't really misbehave at that age. It was only when he was throwing a fit and there was nothing else I could do.

    I did it less than six times total.

  • I have used it, but ONLY as a last resort, if he just won't listen, or keeps getting of the time out chair. I was sent to my room when I was bad, and I didn't associate it with negativity. The 2 times he's been put in his crib, he was upset for all of maybe 5 seconds, then calmed right down. I timed it for 1 minute, then went in and asked him if he knows why mommy put him in his crib. He nodded, and I said, now are going to listen to what mommy and daddy say? And he nods and we go back downstairs.
  • The books I've read caution against the crib for the same reasons listed by PP's. 

    You don't want the child to assosciate bed/sleeping with being in trouble.

    I've always used his room and closed the door.

    Only so much damage he can do in there.  Any destruction or mess he makes in a fit of rage he then is responsible for cleaning up.

    The books had me prepared for an all out destruction tornado but he's never even once thrown anything or disrupted his room.

    I like having him in there because he can get a hold of his lovey.  Often that will expedite the process of calming him down.

    GL!

    Fun times!

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
  • No way, hose! You don't want the little one to feel as though the bed is a place for punishment. Sleep issues will develop or he just won't want to use his crib anymore to sleep. You need to find a chair in a corner or something facing the wall. If he knows he's in trouble, he won't move. you'll be pleasently surprised. Good luck.
  • Thanks for all the great comments, Ladies!!  Good stuff.
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