NBR-Where do you look for etiquette advice

LetsGoToDisney · May 2014

I have an etiquette question and am looking for a reliable place to find an answer. I have searched several etiquette sources and found answers that completely contradict each other. Who do you trust for advice?

If you happen to be an authority on social graces, here is my question: What are the gift giving guidelines for an invitation to a wedding reception taking place the day after a wedding ceremony that we are not invited to? We do not know the couple, but the bride is my husband's second cousin.

Lee81 · May 2014

I am by no means an etiquette expert, but if it were up to me, it would considered bad etiquette to invite people you don't even know to a gift giving event.

I would assume the guideline would be if you are going- gift. If you are not going- gift optional.

edited for spell check fail.

StefMurph · May 2014

If you ate sent an invitation, it is customary to send a gift, even if not attending.

I've read that several places over the years. I don't think anyone is going to throw an etiquette flag at you since it is more customary to be invited to the wedding AND reception unless a destination wedding.

huntjul · May 2014

Do you know why are you not invited to the ceremony? For example, if you are non-Mormon and the couple is Mormon, you are not allowed to enter the temple and therefore couldn't attend.

Are you going to the reception? If so, take or send a gift. If not, then I'd call it a grey area. If you truly don't know the people, I probably wouldn't send a gift.

I should comment here though that I am the worst at etiquette, so do what you want!

LetsGoToDisney · May 2014

Snowboarderbritt said:

Are you going to the reception? In my religion most people are not invited to the ceremony (only like 30-40 close family and friends) so that isn't strange at all to me.

huntjul said:

Do you know why are you not invited to the ceremony? For example, if you are non-Mormon and the couple is Mormon, you are not allowed to enter the temple and therefore couldn't attend.

We are the same religion. I don't know why we are invited to reception and not wedding (not really sure why invited at all, but maybe they felt inclusive). They didn't register anywhere and we aren't going.

jennlin · May 2014

i'd bring a gift as if you were going to the whole thing. if she asked you for ceremony only (no reception), that'd be different..but she's still inviting you to the "expensive" part of the wedding, which also usually happens to be the more fun/social part of weddings.

since you don't know her well, i'd probably shoot for $50-75 gift, "pay for your plate", or whatever dollar amount you're comfortable with. i wouldn't go empty handed, more than just a card.

kimbo1216 · May 2014

I was told once that proper etiquette I'd a gift per invitation. So in your case I would get a gift for the couple. Budget is your choice. And yes, I would send a gift even if I weren't going. It's just polite IMO.

Ajoyd · May 2014

Traditionally it is considered proper etiquette to send a gift whether you are going or not; however, if someone I didn't know invited me to a wedding, whether just the reception or the whole event, I would not send a gift.

LetsGoToDisney · May 2014

Snowboarderbritt said:
Just curious how far away you guys live from the reception? If you love far, and they don't know you, it kind of sounds like they are being gift grabby. If you are close to the venue maybe they were feeling like they just wanted everyone and their mother to come celebrate.

We are 3 timezones away, it is a 16 hour drive or multiple connection flight.

I think I'm just going to send them a set of monogramed towels and be done with it.

Want a personalized experience?

NBR-Where do you look for etiquette advice

Re: NBR-Where do you look for etiquette advice

Choose Another Board

Search Boards