October Loss Mom Check-In

AggieBeth06 · May 2014

Thinking of you all today.

What's new in the past month?

How is your physical recovery?

How is your emotional recovery?

Any special hugs needed?

stephy1221 · May 2014

AggieBeth06 how are you doing hun? hope you are well. thanks for the check in.

physical recovery is good although this cycle aunt flo was more of a badass beatch than usual.

Emotional comes and goes.

Nothing exciting to report.

meredithcarole · May 2014

Hi ladies. @stephy1221‌ I am so over AF, too! She is being a bitch. By the way, thanks for the birthday wishes (I am glad I have good AMA company to join). @jcar2 sorry you got the random gush today, our bodies are all really out of whack, aren't they? @AggieBeth06‌ how is the house building coming along? As for me, I don't think there is anything new that I haven't already mentioned on our other threads. I am looking forward to spending time with DH this weekend. I have been torturing him by leaving him solely in charge of birthday plans - he's not the planner in the relationship. We'll see how it turns out

AggieBeth06 · May 2014

@stephy1221‌ - my cycles have been so weird! The first was super heavy. Then I had a 14 day cycle... Bled for almost a week (spotting for a few days) and I think I'm going to O on CD 9, which sets me up for another 14-16 day cycle! WTF, bodies! I hope that your AF chills out soon. (((Hugs))) @jcar2‌ - I'm sorry to hear about your gush today. (((Hugs))) @meredithcarole‌ - happy early birthday!!!! Hope you and DH have a great weekend. House building is currently slow but steady. I was hoping to have a roof before the rain tomorrow, but that didn't happen. That's ok though! I think y'all probably have seen my updates on TTCAL, so I won't rehash here. I'm still emotionally and physically scattered, but getting better. DH ordered my necklace to commemorate our loss. I'm hoping I can get it this weekend... But I don't want to get my hopes up. FX.

meredithcarole · May 2014

@AggieBeth06‌ I am sorry your cycles have been weird, but can I say how relieved I am that yours sound like mine have been. I was a little worried.

LoriMarie1121 · May 2014

In less than a month I lost my baby, my grandma and a dear cousin. So life has been an emotional roller coaster. I did get to tell my grandma to take care of my little one up in heaven. It helps to think that my grandma is taking care of my bambino.
Physical my cycles are all crazy. I went from the 28 to over 30. 1st period was like reliving the miscarriage over. Still waiting for this months. Got the ok to start TTC again. But since my system isn't back on track I have no idea if I'm late or normal.
Emotional most days are good but there's been some bad. It's hard when you feel like everyone around you just announces there pregnacy. I work at a trade college and it seems like every week there's some student get pregnant. And then there's the question do have children or what are you two waiting for. Today is hard. I thought I would be celebrating my 1st Mother's Day as a mom-to-be.
Happy Mothers Day to you brave women out there. You give me strength and a place of understanding. Here's to future blessings for us

Yaz14 · May 2014

What's new in the past month? I've been quite busy at work. Mostly good busy, a few shit busy days. I went on a girls weekend to Melbourne (Australia) with my MIL, SIL and BFF which was awesome. Did lots of retail therapy and wining and dining. It helped to keep my mind off things for a few days. I went to a friends wedding a few weeks back which was nice. Other than that not a whole lot.

How is your physical recovery? It sucks. I'm still bleeding 5 weeks post D&C. I have no idea what my body thinks it's doing.

How is your emotional recovery? Getting better. I still find myself in tears occasionally though. It sucks that my Facebook account seems to be blowing up with friends pregnancy and birth announcements and pictures of their babies lately. I also ran into an old work colleague a few days ago and she asked when my DH and I were planning on having kids. That hurt.

Any special hugs needed? No, I'm coping ok. My DH is here for that. He's been amazing. He's always there when I need him. I often wake him up in the middle of the night for a cuddle and a cry or call him at work in the middle of the day to rant.

AggieBeth06 · May 2014

@LoriMarie1121‌ - I'm so sorry for your losses. As if it wasn't rough enough to lose a baby.... I'm so so sorry. Have you considered temping? I'm TTA but temping has helped me see that I'm o'ing much earlier than I used to and give me a heads up about when my period is about to return.

@Yaz14‌ - I'm sorry your body is still adjusting. I remember spotting until at least before my first period came. I'm also sorry about all of the reminders... I have FOUR people I know pregnant and due in October. It's like just as soon as I think I'm getting over and can accept some reminders... BAM! A friend announces dramatically on FB that she's expecting out of wedlock. Big huge us photos and confrontation for the people judging her and everything. BLECH.

It's great that your DH is so supportive!

GR8TDANEMOM · May 2014

Ticker and siggy warning

I feel like I haven't been on here in forever. My computer won't even let me on the bump. I needed to get on today so I'm glad I saw this check in.

Physically I'm good, I got the all clear from the doctor that the pills worked, I ovulated this past month and so far this looks like it will be a normal cycle.

Emotionally this weekend hit me hard. We were going to do an early gender reveal ultrasound yesterday and reveal today so I've just been down. I also told myself that I didn't want to ttc again until I lost 20 pounds. I was hoping to start in July and I'm not doing so hot so I'm starting to panic a little.

Thanks for the check in today!

AggieBeth06 · May 2014

@gr8tdanemom I'm happy that your body is starting to normalize.

I'm so sorry this weekend was rough. It was hard for me too... and I understand about the weight loss. It's hard to kick yourself into gear when you're still hurting so badly. Cut yourself a break and think about it in a couple of weeks. Unless there's a medical reason, revise your goals to something that is attainable if you feel like your goal is out of reach. There is no shame in it - life happens. Love yourself and forgive yourself. HUGE hugs to you, friend. Hope today was a better day.

Mrs Sweet Tea · May 2014

What's new in the past month?

Had my 30th birthday, all of my family came over for a party. Like @meredithcarole I let hubby be in charge of the plans but he is also not the planner of the family. It was nice to have everyone there and my mom and sister did an amazing job with the food, but it was still difficult. We were hoping to tell everyone we were expecting at the party but life obviously had other plans.

My students went home for the summer (I work in higher ed). Graduation was wonderful and sad all at the same time, we sent some really outstanding people out into the working world now. For those that will return, I am ready for them to come back, campus is too quiet during the summer.

Last but not least, the house no longer smells like skunk! However, our oldest dog still kind of does if you put your face right next to his head, the skunk sprayed him right in the face, but it's so much better than it had been. We have finally stopped torturing him with baths!

How is your physical recovery?

Sorry for the repetition since I just did my intro yesterday, but my HCG levels are still hanging around 8 weeks post D&C, at 41 two Fridays ago. Going in on Friday for another test. Can't really seem to lose the weight I gained from trying to keep morning sickness at bay by constantly trying to keep something in my tummy which is frustrating. It's hard because I have loose joints, and my hips slipped out of place almost two year ago which caused pyriformis syndrome (basically aggravated the heck out of a muscle in my butt) and

I haven't been able to exercise hard to consistently since. The most effective way for me to lose weight has been running and it's sometimes almost physically impossible to do so. Going to the doctor on Thursday to get my hips readjusted so hopefully I can start working out again.

Work has been busy with lots of food being provided for us over the past month and even the healthiest options are not very healthy. I know gaining 10lbs is not the biggest deal in the world but I just don't feel good about myself and my close don't fit right if at all. I was hoping to lose most of it before we started trying again but it doesn't look like that is happening.

How is your emotional recovery?

Comes and goes. Trying to avoid FB as much as possible but it's hard because I keep up with many of my friends that way since we are all over the country. I think I will be a lot better once my HCG levels are down and I know I will be able to start trying again.

@LoriMarie1121 I am so sorry for all those losses so close together!! I also like to think that my relatives who have passed away are taking care of my little one for me until I can one day.

((HUGS)) to all of you for staying strong and working at healing even when our bodies don't seem to want cooperate with our plans.

Mrs Sweet Tea · May 2014

@jcar2 I was at 41 two Fridays ago. Looks like I am starting to spot again today. This is so frustrating. I will be so relieved once I get under 5. I love my LO, I always will, but I just want to know that my body is able to get pregnant again and have that peace of mind. We were very fortunate in that we were able to get pregnant easily the first time. I hope it is that easy again. So sorry for your loss.

meredithcarole · May 2014

@Mrs Sweet Tea‌ if you were at 41 two Fridays ago and you are spotting perhaps it is AF? I got a really faint positive from POAS about 3 days before my first post-D&C period so I must have dropped around 25 points in those 3 days to trigger it. If not, I am sure you are close. ETA: it didn't look like the tag was working so I tried again

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