Pregnant after a Loss

Mtaylor404's birth story- LONG (but with pictures)

mtaylor404mtaylor404 member
edited May 2014 in Pregnant after a Loss

Short version: Jonathan David was born on May 1, 2014 at 9:38 am after 30 hours of labor weighing 6 pounds 15 oz and 20.5 inches long.

Long version: I know that I am going to get emotional writing this.  Labor and birth are such emotional experiences with so much wrapped up in it for any mom, but especially for us AL mothers.  I had a lot of preconceptions about how I THOUGHT my birth would be and what I WANTED.  I learned through this process that I need to let go of my expectations- a good lesson to learn for motherhood!

I woke up at 3am on April 30th with contractions.  I had been having irregular contractions for a few days, but had gone to the gym and worked out as normal that night.  When I woke up on the 30ththey were about every 7 minutes and somewhat painful.  I slept off and on but didn’t wake my husband. I emailed work that I wouldn’t be coming in. I was supposed to go in for an NST and BPP at my ob-gyn that day, because they were pushing me to induce earlier than I wanted.  I called them and told them I was contracting.  They said to come in so they could check me.  I told them I didn’t want to because I planned to have an unmedicated birth and didn’t want to be sent to the hospital.  I stayed in bed for most of the morning until lunch time.  The contractions started becoming more painful and a bit closer together.  I called my doula who guessed that nothing would happen until night time. The contractions picked up in intensity but not in their interval.  By 5 pm, I called my doula again because they were getting quite strong.  I was having serious back labor.  The doula came, and by that point I was only feeling any relief if I was in the bathtub. The contractions were 3 minutes apart by about 9 pm and I was feeling a lot of pressure.  The doula thought I was bearing down and perhaps fully dilated and wanted to go to the hospital. I didn’t feel like I was ready yet, so I held off as long as I could.  By 10pm, I decided to go to the hospital because the back labor was excruciating and I was sure I was very dilated. At the hospital I went to triage and learned I was only 2 cm dilated.  I was DEVISTATED. They told me I could stay and be admitted, but that they would hook me up to monitors/IV. I decided to go home instead. I was in tears and in so much pain.  I went back home and continued to labor through back labor until 3 am.  I was so defeated at this point.  I was so tearful and I was not the calm and strong person that I thought I would be.  I decided that I would go to the hospital and get checked and then decide how to proceed based on that information.  In triage I was told I was 3 to 4 cm.  I decided to get an epidural at that point.  It was so hard for me to make that decision. It ended up being the right decision, but it was a hard one for me to make.  I felt like my body had failed me and was not doing what it needed to and what I had been so confident it could do.  I had prided myself in my ability to handle pain and was so wedded to my birth plan. Little did I know my LO had plans of his own.  I got the epidural and was hooked up to the monitor.  The doctor was concerned about the baby’s heart rate because there were no accels or decels.  They told me that I needed to dilate quickly or I was looking at a c section.  I consented to having my water broken and Pitocin.  At that point, I dilated the remaining 6-7 cm in an hour and was ready to push.  The baby’s heart rate was still of concern, so the doctor was prepared to use forceps or take me for a c section if I couldn’t push fast enough.  As I pushed I had to turn on to my side between each contraction to help the baby’s heart rate. I was so determined and pushed like hell for about 6 contractions and he was out. The cord was wrapped around his neck which was causing the concerns about his heart rate.  He came out sideways which was causing the slow dilation and the back labor. I had a minor tear and some stiches.  The second he was out, I forgot about everything. I was just overwhelmed with love and relief that he was earth side. 

Jonathan and I are recovering well and adjusting to life at home.  I am dealing with some baby blues and a residual feeling of failure from my birth experience, but I am trying to be kind to myself. 

My little guy is a champ.  He regained his birth weight in 4 days and feeds like a pro.  I can’t stop staring at him and kissing him. There is no greater love. Thanks for reading.

Married 8/4/12
BFP #1 EDD 12/5/13, MMC
BFP #2 EDD 4/27/14- Our rainbow arrived 5/1/14!
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Re: Mtaylor404's birth story- LONG (but with pictures)

  • what a sweet little face!  be gentle with yourself...you did an awesome job.
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    BFP#1 EDD 04.20.2010, SUNSHINE baby boy born 03.31.2010
    BFP#2 EDD 12.07.2014, natural mc 04.09.2014 at 5w3d
    BFP#3 EDD 01.14.15, RAINBOW baby girl born 01.16.2015


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  • megbmegmegbmeg member
    edited May 2014
    Congrats! He's precious! I hope you can be kind to yourself about the disappointment you're feeling about the birth experience. It is hard when our expectations and reality are out of sync like that, and it is easy to feel guilty about any of it. But you're a total champ! You got that little guy here!! In my book, that's awesome, mama. I think whatever it takes - no drugs, drugs, forceps, CS, kitchen sink, whatever! Good job!!

    Eta: also thanks for being honest about the roller coaster emotions and some blues. I think it helps to know its normal for things not to be 100% sunshine and unicorns.
    Baby GIRL born 12/11/14!!
    MC @ 8 wks 7/6/13 - ectopic @ 6 wks 12/28/13

     In loving memory of sweet baby HP, and all our angel babies. Forever in our hearts.image 
     
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  • Congrats mama, he is beautiful. I know you are disappointed with your birthing experience, but ultimately, you did what needed to be done and that is amazing. You got that boy here healthy and that is what matters!
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    BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d

    BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11

    BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d

    BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13

     

    BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14 

  • Congrats mama!

    Married DH 3/14/09

    TTC Since Jan 2011
    Diagnosed with PCOS Jan 2013
    BFP#1 June 2013/ EDD 2/23/2013 Blighted Ovum confirmed July 18, 2013
    took Cytotec July 20, 2013

    BFP #2 12/28/2013 EDD 9/11/2014 Its A Girl!!! Rebecca Ann!

    Rebecca Ann born 8/31/2014 6lb 1oz 19 inches long 8:55am!!!!


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  • He is absolutely perfect :x congratulations!! What an amazing birth story, too!
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
  • Congratulations, mama! Never forget that no matter what the details were of your birth plan, your ultimate goal was to birth a healthy baby, and you did. We will always have surprises in life, and those of us here at PGAL understand better than some the horrifying turns those surprises can take. We don't always get to experience our ideal situation; most of the time, we're left trying to cope with the hand we've been dealt. You are a fantastic mother, a strong woman, and every day that you get to hold your son is a testament to the work you did bringing him into the world.

    DS born 10/22/2008
    DD born 12/23/2014

    m/c @10wks 12/2007
    m/c @4wks 3/2014


  • Congratulations, mama! Be kind to yourself, you have a beautiful baby boy! 
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  • Congrats on your precious boy!! You sound like a strong, determined lady to me :)
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    BFP 4/17/13, MC began 5/2/13 @ 6 weeks
    EDD 12/27/13
    TTC since 2/2013
    BFP#2 9/23/13 EDD 6/8/14
     
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  • Congratulations! He is adorable!

    Ava's Story
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    BFP#2 10/18/13  Blighted ovum 11/25/13

    BFP #3 1/31/14 EDD 10/18/14 -- It's a GIRL!

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  • What a cutie!!  Congratulations!!!

    TTC since October 2012

    BFP#1 1/11/13, EDD 9/19/13, M/C at 9wk6dy 

    BFP#2 11/12/13, DS born 7/28/14!

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  • Congratulations!  He is just beautiful.  Good job mama!

    My fur-babies Chuck Norris, Stella, and Lucy
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    BFP #1 1/4/14; EDD 9/16/14;  mc 1/17/14 
    BFP #2 3/12/14; baby girl born 11/21/14          
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  • He's so cute!! Congrats!
    TTC Since July 2013
    BFP #1 8/8/13, EDD 4/16/14
    MMC discovered on 9/18/13 @ 10w, baby measuring 9w. D&C on 9/26/13



    BFP #2 12/7/13
    , EDD 8/12/13. It's a girl!
    Caroline Marie born 8/20/14. 8lbs 11oz, 21 inches and perfect!

  • You did a fantastic job mama! Congrats! He's so sweet!
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  • Those eyes, he's so beautiful! Congrats and be easy on yourself; he is here and all is well :) (((hugs)))
    ~All are welcome~
    MC 23/01/2013 natural @ 7 Weeks

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  • Congratulations! He is adorable!

    When you made your birth plan you had no idea he would be sideways or (so scary and thank goodness you were strong and tough and well prepared and could push him out so quickly! ) have his cord around his neck! Listening to your body and getting the epi at that point though it wasn't what you had planned or hoped sounds like it was just what you needed to do so that things could progress and you could focus your energy on pushing. Getting him out in so few pushes since you knew he needed that is awesome!!

    I hope the baby blues pass soon!
    Me: 39  DH: 44  together since 2000 married 9/2004 TTC #1 since 2/2012
    BFP #1 6/5/2012  m/c 6/15/2012 about 5w3d   BFP #2 6/?/2013 m/c 7/1/2013 5w 3d
    BFP #3 8/25/2013  EDD 5/7/2014    DD A. born 5/8/2014!!  Love!!!!
  • Thank you all for your kind words.
    Married 8/4/12
    BFP #1 EDD 12/5/13, MMC
    BFP #2 EDD 4/27/14- Our rainbow arrived 5/1/14!
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  • Congratulations! Beautiful pics!

    "It's, not, where you are, it's where you're going,
    And it's, not, about the things you've done, it's what you're doing, now"

    TTC Journey Began 8/12
    BFP #1 11/9/12, MMC/D&C 12/21/12 @ 9w2d, EDD 7/24/13
    SAs: 2%-3% Morph - RE Official Diagnosis
    Unexplained
     BFN = IUI #1 (Clomid) | IUI #2 (Letrozole) 
    BFP #2 4/19/14 = IUI #3 (Letrozole)
    Expecting Our Elf 12/27/14
    ~All Welcome~

  • So cute! Congratulations! Thanks for sharing with us. :o)
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    BFP 01/17/2014, Due 10/05/2014, MMC, we said goodbye 03/07/2014

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  • kibyloukibylou member
    I loved reading this! It made me cry! He is so cute. It sounds like you had a rough labor and were very strong. You were still able to have him vaginally and must have been so strong to push him out so fast. Back labor is seriously the worst and sounds like you were a champ. Be kind to yourself, you did something amazing!
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  • Congrats on your sweet boy! 

    I am glad you received the help and care you needed. 

    _______________________________________________________________________
    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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    January PAL siggie challenge; Good advice:
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