Those TFAS

lovemybellag · May 2014

We are finding it extremely tough to TFAS. DD is 14 months and still not sleeping through the night so my temps are a bit wacky. As well DH and I are finding it hard to find time to have sex. I'm usually up Late with DD and he is tired and goes to bed early. It took 2yrs for DD and I'm concerned about TFAS. I also have not had a true PP AF. Any advice for those TFAS. How do you manage it all?

URMySunshine77 · May 2014

Have you considered using OPKs? I would suggest getting some Wondfo OPKs from Amazon.

traversity773 · May 2014

you have to try and find the time. Is your SO helping out with the household, and on the same page for ttc? I find that it really helps us find the time and be in the mood when we work together.

dreemkin84 · May 2014

No advice but I'm in the same boat as you, DD is 16 months and still not tooootally sleeping through the night all the time. We are trying EOD sex during my fertile window this cycle and it's been going well for us. Good luck!

bhjones1980 · May 2014

We just MAKE the time for it since it we didnt it would never happen since I am usually going to bed right after putting DS down for the night since I get up at 5am for work, and DS just started STTN (so YAY for that).

Weekends are a little easier since we are both home for his morning nap time (and some much needed alone time), but during the week is definitely a scheduled thing, not the sexiest but it gets the job done

ImJessesGirl · May 2014

I'm trying for a second, but my first is 9 years old. Very different, lol.

lovemybellag · May 2014

Yes, I am still nursing. The real big issue is that DD won't fall asleep until 10 or 11 even though I try putting her down earlier. She is in a I want to stay up and play stage so that us not helping my cause. DH gets up early to go to work so by the time she falls asleep he has been sleeping for a few hours. We both want another right away but perhaps I want it a bit more.

lovemybellag · May 2014

Hopefully I can get her on a better schedule with sleep. I am trying to get her to nap earlier in the day. Right now she won't nap until late afternoon. Another issue is she still sleeps in her crib in our bedroom due to lack of space. I guess we will just gave to do our best and hope it works out. We may be in for another long haul. I want to try a bit before we see the RE again but maybe I should make a check in appt anyway.

smg2302 · May 2014

Controversial answers, but here goes

1. We sleep trained. DD just turned one and sleeps from about 7 pm to 6 am. It has been a fantastic experience.

2. Our families are aware that we want to TFAS. They have offered to babysit during FW to help the process along. We haven't had to take advantage this month, but may in the future if we aren't hitting the right timing.

3. Morning sex/lunch time sex (if you are close enough to home to make it happen)

I hope that helps.

nittanyllama · May 2014

I know this probably isn't what you're looking to hear, but that's why we waited until DS was a little older. He's 2.5, sleeps all night, and is relatively easy during the day (most of the time). If I still wasn't getting sleep at night and couldn't find the time to have sex, FOR ME PERSONALLY I wouldn't have been ready to TFAS. Not saying that's what you should do, that was just part of my reasoning.

FWIW, we sleep trained pretty early and DS has always been a great sleeper.

Also, I don't mean this to sound snarky, but if you don't have room for you DD to sleep somewhere other than your bedroom, where are you planning to put another baby? Good luck with everything.

LadyXaverian · May 2014

Um. I'm not going to give you unsolicited parenting advice since I don't live in your house and every child is different…….

That aside, I agree with the OPK suggestion. At least if you see a LH surge, you can try to make time for a few days. Good luck!

klmcguire · May 2014

Have you done sleep training yet? DS was staying up way late until we did sleep training and we were all much happier after that!

That made some time for sexy time and better moods all around!

PinkRoses53 · May 2014

You are not alone at all. My chart looks like the rocky mountains and I woken up several times a night since my son has been both teething and sick the past week. He puts himself back to sleep after a few minutes but I cannot seem to fall asleep!

We are also having trouble finding time for each other. Between work, our son, the house, etc. It is hard. We are trying for every other day but even that is tough.

Hang in there! Good luck!

lovemybellag · May 2014

We are temporarily staying with family while renovations are happening. I understand about waiting but since DD took 2 years we would like to start trying ASAP. DD was sleeping at 8-9 but lately with teething and wanting to play it has gotten much later. I am trying to get her back to normal.

Bee1112 · May 2014

I agree, try putting her down earlier. We do bed at 8 or sometimes 8:30. But that is as late as we go unless there are special circumstances, I personally think you are putting her to bed way too late. He doesn't wake up until anywhere between 7:30 and 8.

We also sleep trained because DS wasn't STTN until 15 months, and even though I'm a SAHM it is hard to wake up five times a night. Sleep training helped so much! I wasn't going to bed at 8:30 anymore.

I use OPKs, that way I can detect my LH surge to help with timing.

rlpointer · May 2014

My DD is a great sleeper (12 hours at night, 8pm-8am) but even then we have to almost schedule it. We have a plan before I'm ovulating. It's takes a little bit of the romance out of it, but it definitely helps. The other thing is that we made sure we were on the same page. My husband was convinced it was going to happen quickly (we got pregnant with DD on the second cycle and it was the first time we had sex in a week - how we got pregnant is amazing to me still) but I wasn't so sure and thought we needed to make sure we had a plan of a sorts and were on the same page. I would talk to him and form a plan. It sounds unromantic but there are always ways to work back that back in to make it feel like it isn't just a chore.

nittanyllama · May 2014

lovemybellag said:

We are temporarily staying with family while renovations are happening. I understand about waiting but since DD took 2 years we would like to start trying ASAP. DD was sleeping at 8-9 but lately with teething and wanting to play it has gotten much later. I am trying to get her back to normal.

That makes more sense, I was wondering if it was something temporary. I'm sorry you had a hard time getting pregnant before and I hope it's easier this time. I also hope you can get that kid of yours to sleep

NoeliaV · May 2014

Non-baby sleep suggestions:

1) try the OPKs. At least, then, you won't feel the extra pressure to have sex if there's not a surge.

2) give up nap times to hump it out in the FW when you can

Baby sleep commiseration:

My almost-18-month-old is finally giving me better sleep. As in, she goes down around 7pm and sleeps until 1 or 2am consistently. It's so freaking nice.

That said, a couple weeks ago, she went through a phase where she was overtired and overstimulated and very *awake* until 9pm and waking for the day at 5am. Ugh. So, I started trying to get her to bed around 6pm (pretty much immediately after she got home from DC each day), and that helped immensely.

So, my advice is look for subtle signs of tiredness like a hawk and immediately skip straight to your bedtime/sleepy routine. For us it meant skipping family dinner and her full bath time, but if I tried to do those things, she was an over tired mess.

GL!

Bee1112 · May 2014

lovemybellag said:

We are temporarily staying with family while renovations are happening. I understand about waiting but since DD took 2 years we would like to start trying ASAP. DD was sleeping at 8-9 but lately with teething and wanting to play it has gotten much later. I am trying to get her back to normal.

I hope everything goes back to normal soon! Teething can be so hard! Good luck with your house, getting your DD back on a sleep schedule, and Good luck TFAS!

mommy2C · May 2014

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. TFAS also hasn't been straight forward for us either. I was finding it hard to temp because C's sleep has been erractic due to teething and then when that got better my BBT died mid cycle. Both H and I had health issues last fall that resulted in us benching ourselves until January and now H has to go to China for 2 weeks every few months and it is always during my fertile time conveniently! It feels like it will never happen because of logistics and random obstacles being thrown in our path so I sympathize with you.

Oem617 · May 2014

My DS is 23 months old and still doesn't STTN often. He goes down between 7:30-8pm and is always up by 6am if we are lucky. It's usually around 5:30am. He will often wake up 1-2 times a night. We have sleep trianed and tried many techniques. It's rough. I am having a hard time charting and trying to temp after 3 hours of sleep, even if the time is not the same. This is my first month, so I am waiting to see how it goes.

As far as finding time and energy for that matter, to hump it out, it will be after DS goes to bed for us. Honestly, I hope my FW is on a weekend.

lovemybellag · May 2014

mommy2C said:

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. TFAS also hasn't been straight forward for us either. I was finding it hard to temp because C's sleep has been erractic due to teething and then when that got better my BBT died mid cycle. Both H and I had health issues last fall that resulted in us benching ourselves until January and now H has to go to China for 2 weeks every few months and it is always during my fertile time conveniently! It feels like it will never happen because of logistics and random obstacles being thrown in our path so I sympathize with you.

I'm sorry that it's difficult. Hopefully it will all work out for us all soon. Thank you ladies for all of your support and advice!

IHeartScience · May 2014

Tfas is definitely harder. No great advice from me, but I feel you. Hope it works out!

Unsolicited advice about sleep from me is that every baby/toddler is different, so do what you have to do. An early bedtime in my house means a battle and a crappy night, a late bedtime means great sleep for everyone, good naps and a refreshed morning.

lmhamze · May 2014

TFAS here too with a 19 month old DS. I feel your pain on the exhaustion since my son wasn't a great sleeper until after I stopped nursing at 13 months. This is my first cycle temping but just like others have said I set my alarm for 4:30 to temp just incase he wakes earlier then normal. I have also started using OPk's this cycle and charting with fertility friend! Good luck TFAS!

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