Due date conflictions

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

So this may be weird and trivial. I work in a school system and as a new employee, I only have 8 days plus 2 personal. I had to use 2 days for appointments. Therefore, I have 8 left (obviously). I guess I'm just wondering if you guys have some thoughts.

My LMP date was 8/19/13….which gave me a due date 5/26/14. I went in for an ultrasound, the dating one, and they told me that baby would not develop any further or that I wasn't as far along as they thought. I came back 2 weeks later and they found what they wanted to see, giving me a due date of 6/11/14. I have since switched practices because of issues, including but not limited to losing my labs, double charging me, refusing to bill insurance, and calling me with the wrong test results. I am at a new practice and I LOVE them!

Well, ever since that dating ultrasound that gave me a due date of 6/11/14, baby boy has been measuring about 2-3 weeks ahead. They didn't change it back or anything obviously. I have gotten a GD diagnosis and HBP since then as well. My sugar is regulated by Glyburide, but it is starting to creep up again (I will ask about that tomorrow at my appt.) We are now at weekly NSTs & Ultrasounds to check for fluid because of some issues I had last week as well as the GD.

Anyway, I'm wondering if the baby is really measuring ahead (I mean he has been measuring that much ahead except at the first dating ultrasound). We have had a bunch of ultrasounds, mostly because we switched practices so they wanted to redo them, as well as 4D ones we've paid for. The anatomy scan was also done twice, so it's not like 2 ultrasounds that he is measuring ahead on, it's been about 7. I know you're not doctors, but what would you think if this was you (as a personal opinion)? We decided to be "ready" (as in packed, etc.) by Memorial Day just in case…but I don't know if maybe that's me being to cautious and paranoid?

I just think it's weird that he's been measuring on my first date on all scans EXCEPT the very first one (which still, was like 6 weeks pregnant according to doctors). Back to the days off, if he is early (or is actually due 5/26) I will have to take my 8 days and then come back to finish the school year, while my husband has enough days (as a teacher) to stay off with him when I come back. It's not ideal, but we have to pay bills obviously! But that's what is prompting me to ask for your opinions!

Thoughts? And thank you lovely ladies in advance!

tbmadeamistake · May 2014

My daughter always measured two weeks ahead, they never changed her due date, and she came a week early because my water broke. Due dates are more like Due Weeks anyway, so I'd be prepared as early as you like and know that regardless of what baby is measuring, you could still go early or late.

curlylocks3 · May 2014

I'm confused by your questions honestly. Yes, I'd have my hospital bag ready and have stuff ready for baby if possible if I thought I might deliver early. I had a bag all set to go and a list of things to add to it, which I found very helpful when my water broke and I didn't have to find stuff.

As for your work questions, I'm too confused by all the details and how your school schedule works to address them. If you are confused about your due date, ask your doctor what it is.

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

@curlylocks3 The issue with asking what the date is is that the first provider, which is another reason I switched, does not have my first visit documented at all. The ultrasound isn't there, the fact that I was even seen is not in the records. So they don't even have the stuff from that appointment to make a more informed opinion other than what they got from the second appointment at that provider, which pegged me at 6/11/14. The thing is, every ultrasound after that one has been on track with 5/26/14, but the records that originally stated 5/26/14 are nowhere to be found. (Another reason why we switched providers!)

For work, I only get 8 days left that are paid. Anything additional after that is without pay. So what was prompting me to think about this was the fact that if he comes early, I can only take the 8 days and then have to go back to work or we wouldn't be able to pay our bills. So maybe my pregnant brain is running away with me this Monday morning, but it's got me kind of concerned and wondering when he really is due.

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

@LilyGrace48 Good to know someone who has measured ahead the whole time! I had a friend that measured a week ahead at one ultrasound, but the next week she had a 4D and it was dead on with her EDD. Thanks

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

@mullenem--it's only 8 business days, it doesn't count weekends luckily. It's not an ideal situation and with the end of the school year I am a little nervous I'm not going to lie. I will talk to them and see what is up though. We don't get maternity leave or anything, we have to use our own accumulated days--which being new, I only have 8.

@nutmegs8--we are out of school mid June, so if the date is right, it could be perfect. I'm just thinking ahead to how things don't usually go according to plan unfortunately. A c-section would complicate matters for sure. My friend had her baby by C-Section in her first year in this division, and had to go back after 10 days because like us, they couldn't pay their bills without it.

Needless to say, I'm getting a little nervous!

tbmadeamistake · May 2014

If you teach, you are most likely qualified for FMLA, which means they HAVE to give you up to 12 weeks off, just not necessarily paid. The only time you will be paid for is the 8 days that you have saved up, unless your job also offers short term disability. It seems insane to me that you literally get 8 business days to have a baby. Have you looked at the maternity laws for your country/state?

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

@LilyGrace48 I know! I know I could have the days off, that's not the issue. The issue is that unfortunately it would be unpaid and we can't afford to be without my paycheck

My husband has 30 some days built up, which they won't let him transfer to me either (I asked), so he could be off with pay. Hopefully it won't end up being for many days

None of this was an issue until we had a horrible winter and missed 14 days of school and they lengthened the school year!

efino87 · May 2014

Just what PP said. Due dates don't really mean a whole lot and are not a good predictor of when baby will actually come. I have had three different due dates and baby has still measured 3+ weeks ahead since 18 weeks. My early dating ultrasound put me at July 02, the office has June 29 and last cycle puts me at June 28. It is just a guess. The average pregnancy lasts from 38-42 weeks. Your baby when come when baby is ready.

flerlgirl · May 2014

I am in a similar situation; my EDD was moved after a dating u/s and LO has been measuring two weeks ahead for the last six-ish weeks. I agree with @lilygrace48 - EDDs are generally plus or minus a week anyway, and some kids are just bigger or smaller than others. Even if baby was measuring two weeks behind, he could still come earlier than your EDD. So basically I've got nothin for you, but I would plan based on your current EDD bc that's really all you can do right now. GL.

ETA - whoops, when I replied there was only one other response. Sorry for being repetitive and redundant and repetitive and redundant.

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

Thanks you guys!

Have a great Monday!

efino87 · May 2014

@LoveOBX360, I would go talk to your HR person ASAP. Going back after 8 days seems like it would be incredibly challenging. Perhaps there is a way to dip into your days for the future? Maybe other workers could give their days to you? FX you are able to stay pregnant or find a livable solution!

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

@efino87 Thanks!

I asked about using my days and then borrowing my husband's, they told me it wasn't allowed. I hope there's something we can do, or he cooks for the 6/11/14 due date!

jshrop · May 2014

I would say keep working until you can't (be that from the physical exertion or labor starts). No one knows when you'll go into labor. Toward the end they're going to be monitoring you weekly regardless. I'd say it's nit a huge deal. The big deal would be figuring out the 10 days. That's really quick to return to work. I'd keep the June date in mind so you don't get anxious or worried that you're "late" when you might not be.

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

Oh goodness I know the actual date is not predictable, I was just looking for some people to share what they would be thinking if they were in my shoes. Hoping to maybe get some ideas I hadn't thought of as venues to explore or what not if he does come closer to the initial EDD--which I got thankfully!!!

It's definitely not an ideal situation, and I am VERY new to this job…in that I have only been able to be paid for 6 months so I don't get the full benefits of a first year contracted employee this year, but will next year (which doesn't help). It will all work out as it is supposed to I guess

Savvy122 · May 2014

ugabamafans said:

I would plan on 5/26 being my due date, but also be mentally prepared to go past that.

As to the time away from work, personally, it is 100% unrealistic to believe that you are going to go back to work a week and a half after having the baby. And if you do, you are going to be miserable from recovery and being away from LO that early. Even with a vaginal delivery, you aren't supposed to drive for 2 weeks. What if you have a c-section? If I was you, I would start selling everything that is not a necessity and drastically slash your budget (no eating out, cheap, cheap meals at home, save electricity). Can you and hubby do some tutoring on the side? He deliver pizzas at night or wait tables on the weekend?

I truly mean this kindly and as a little tough love, even though I don't know if it is going to come across like that - you guys need to get some wiggle room in your budget. As someone who has lost my job before, you really need to have an emergency fund in place, because repairs/emergencies/job losses are going to come up. And having bills after a baby is born is not even an emergency - you've know about it for months. What if baby comes early and is in the NICU? Or gets sick in a few months and you need time off to take him to the doctor? What are you going to do with unexpected medical bills?

Completely agree with everything here. I understand that taking unpaid time isn't ideal, but I don't think returning to work as soon as you're planning is healthy for you (physically or emotionally). I'd start trying to make some sort of plan now to try to alleviate the financial stress of living without a paycheck or two, as this is a very real possibility.

JulieSmiles · May 2014

I'm a teacher and also in my first year of teaching at a new district (6th year teaching altogether). Unfortunately, you won't qualify for FMLA until you have been teaching a full year, so the start of next school year. I also found that STD only started after I had been working a full 9 months, which for me, would be the middle of June, so again not helpful.

I'm not sure how your pay is divided out, but I get paid for 12 months, even though I only work 10. If you do have to miss some days, would it be possible to split the missed pay up over the remaining paychecks? That would make it where you only have 3-4 days missing off each paycheck instead of multiple unpaid days. I would contact HR and ask them about this as well as STD.

My LO has been measuring ahead the whole time too and they aren't changing the due date. I would say that you should try to limit your stress as much as possible. Good luck!

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

ugabamafans said:

I would plan on 5/26 being my due date, but also be mentally prepared to go past that.

As to the time away from work, personally, it is 100% unrealistic to believe that you are going to go back to work a week and a half after having the baby. And if you do, you are going to be miserable from recovery and being away from LO that early. Even with a vaginal delivery, you aren't supposed to drive for 2 weeks. What if you have a c-section? If I was you, I would start selling everything that is not a necessity and drastically slash your budget (no eating out, cheap, cheap meals at home, save electricity). Can you and hubby do some tutoring on the side? He deliver pizzas at night or wait tables on the weekend? My husband and I carpool to school as it is, so if I had to go back, he would take me and drop me off. My boss has been very very understanding and I would essentially be taking up space in my office solely luckily. Tutoring is an option, that would be good.

I truly mean this kindly and as a little tough love, even though I don't know if it is going to come across like that - you guys need to get some wiggle room in your budget. As someone who has lost my job before, you really need to have an emergency fund in place, because repairs/emergencies/job losses are going to come up. And having bills after a baby is born is not even an emergency - you've know about it for months. What if baby comes early and is in the NICU? Or gets sick in a few months and you need time off to take him to the doctor? What are you going to do with unexpected medical bills? I appreciate honestly and bluntness, that's how I am as a person. I was a grad student last year and we pay our bills fine, with a little to spare now but we have been rebuilding the savings that we had to obviously use while I was in my internship (not paid) last year. We do have an emergency fund separate from that savings, thankfully. We don't want to use that unless it is a true emergency, i.e. a health problem with the baby, etc. Luckily, my husband does have 30 some days to take off (school days, not weekends) so any emergency health issues he would be able to handle with plenty of days to spare. In addition, I get 10 every year, as does he, which is how he has 30 some right now. Starting next year, I will have 10 more days, but they won't let me borrow them ahead I just found out. Our insurance is pretty awful currently, but for next school year it is going to be better as we are switching to a better provider thankfully!

chickpea912 · May 2014

I don't have much to add to this thread, although the word "conflictions" is killing me on a day that is already rife with stress and frustration.

I know when I O'd, and between that and my LMP, my due date and possible due dates are really only two days apart. And this baby has been measuring one to two weeks ahead the entire time, even with two separate medical issues that could lead to growth restrictions. So what I'm saying is that even in my case - which is pretty exact in terms of dates and timing and everything - I still have a baby that is measuring ahead. Because she's a big baby. There is a range of size and the size of the baby does not necessarily equal to time of gestation.

Also - not every workplace gives STD, so a) it's not an automatic thing AT ALL (I had to purchase a separate policy) and b) given that you've only worked there 6 months, even if your school system has something in place, it's likely you don't qualify for you. Echo others' suggestions of being in touch with HR to make sure you really know what your situation is and what you might qualify for.

In terms of how to prepare, you can't. Even if your new due date in June is the "correct" one, you could still go into labor tomorrow. Of if your May EDD is accurate, you could still give birth a week or two after that. It's not exactly, so I would prepare as if you were going into labor tomorrow and then cross your fingers that you don't (unless you want the baby to come early - don't want to assume).

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

JulieSmiles said:

I'm a teacher and also in my first year of teaching at a new district (6th year teaching altogether). Unfortunately, you won't qualify for FMLA until you have been teaching a full year, so the start of next school year. I also found that STD only started after I had been working a full 9 months, which for me, would be the middle of June, so again not helpful.

I'm not sure how your pay is divided out, but I get paid for 12 months, even though I only work 10. If you do have to miss some days, would it be possible to split the missed pay up over the remaining paychecks? That would make it where you only have 3-4 days missing off each paycheck instead of multiple unpaid days. I would contact HR and ask them about this as well as STD.

My LO has been measuring ahead the whole time too and they aren't changing the due date. I would say that you should try to limit your stress as much as possible. Good luck!

THANKS! Our division pays us for 12 months, but "pays us out" at the beginning of summer. Therefore, taking the days out of the next few paychecks isn't really possible. So, basically we get one lump sum for summer at the last pay day before school ends, it would be a big hit out of the check which I was hoping didn't happen, but if it does I'm sure we will figure it out. I am not eligible for STD either (is it bad that I laughed at this like a high schooler? STD…haha)…I was in an internship from August-October and did not get paid until November so I haven't had enough pay cycles.

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

chickpea912 said:

I don't have much to add to this thread, although the word "conflictions" is killing me on a day that is already rife with stress and frustration.

I know when I O'd, and between that and my LMP, my due date and possible due dates are really only two days apart. And this baby has been measuring one to two weeks ahead the entire time, even with two separate medical issues that could lead to growth restrictions. So what I'm saying is that even in my case - which is pretty exact in terms of dates and timing and everything - I still have a baby that is measuring ahead. That's a possibility too, he could just be big. With the GD diagnosis, that's not out either. Because she's a big baby. There is a range of size and the size of the baby does not necessarily equal to time of gestation.

Also - not every workplace gives STD, so a) it's not an automatic thing AT ALL (I had to purchase a separate policy) and b) given that you've only worked there 6 months, even if your school system has something in place, it's likely you don't qualify for you. Echo others' suggestions of being in touch with HR to make sure you really know what your situation is and what you might qualify for. Yes, I don't qualify for it I found out due to the fact that I haven't had enough pay cycles (first part of year was unpaid internship to finish M.Ed.)

In terms of how to prepare, you can't. Even if your new due date in June is the "correct" one, you could still go into labor tomorrow. Of if your May EDD is accurate, you could still give birth a week or two after that. It's not exactly, so I would prepare as if you were going into labor tomorrow and then cross your fingers that you don't (unless you want the baby to come early - don't want to assume). Thanks for your help

becomingmommyagain · May 2014

I'd start planning a way to save on those bills that I couldn't cover if baby came early. You may be able to call the mortgage company, car loan company, etc and ask to defer a payment. Or ask some family members to help out financially to cover you for the lost pay.

If you've been there only 6 months, like PP said, its unlikely that you'd be eligible for FMLA or STD. But I'd definitely reach out to your HR person or union rep and see what options there are for you. Its also possible that they won't allow you to return to work until after you are released from your doctor. You'll also want to have this conversation with your doctor about the earliest they'll feel comfortable releasing you. But if you have a tear or episiotomy, you might not be able to sit in a chair for 8 hours let alone stand up and teach a class.

Hope your LO stays put as long as possible!

ncbelle · May 2014

Early ultrasound is pretty accurate so 6/11 is probably fairly close. LMP is not particularly accurate as cycle length can vary. GD can certainly make baby measure ahead - or sometimes babies just measure ahead.

In the end, a due date is only an estimate. You could go early or two weeks late. I'd just keep working until baby shows up and figure it out then! Basically, try not to fixate on a date or stress about what you can't control

Katieluc106 · May 2014

I'm jealous of You ladies that qualify for STD. In mass we get FMLA 12 weeks and aren't covered by anything else unless we purchase Aflac or something like that.
When we had DD1 we had to save and be prepared ourselves. But then I just never went back haha

jwarnerb · May 2014

I wish I had something helpful to add, but I don't. I just wanted to say that I hope it works out okay for you and it sucks to be in a tight spot like that financially. Even if you do have to go back to finish out the year- remember- it will only be a SHORT period of time and you can do it! I know it is not ideal. Best of luck to you!

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

jwarnerb said:

I wish I had something helpful to add, but I don't. I just wanted to say that I hope it works out okay for you and it sucks to be in a tight spot like that financially. Even if you do have to go back to finish out the year- remember- it will only be a SHORT period of time and you can do it! I know it is not ideal. Best of luck to you!

Thanks! BY THE WAY…I LOVE TAMI TAYLOR! Friday Night Lights is my favorite TV show…so sad it doesn't exist anymore. My husband is a football coach and I swear, our life is that show….

jwarnerb · May 2014

Tami T. is the best! I started watching Nashville just because Connie Britton is on and I needed my Tami T. fix.

katekat8721 · May 2014

This is insane to me that you only have 8 working days off after baby comes.

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

She is amazing! I love her!

kd&cd · May 2014

If I were you I would be going w the first date, I say this because I have had a similar situation. At the first ultrasound baby measured exact w my LMP however I know I ovulated late and Baby should have measured with that date about 5 days later. All ultrasounds since baby has measured 5 days smaller than she should based on LMP, however my OB refuses to even consider that my due date is June 28 based on ovulation & ultrasounds and is going with June 23 based on LMP. HOWEVER you never know when baby is going to make their arrival...baby could come on a completely diff date. Go with your momma instincts!

curlylocks3 · May 2014

katekat8721 said:
This is insane to me that you only have 8 working days off after baby comes.

It is insane to me that you are 8+ months pregnant and this is just coming up now.
If you are having weekly appointments, NSTs and fluid checks how are you going to fit all that in while still working an not using those days off?

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

curlylocks3 said:

This is insane to me that you only have 8 working days off after baby comes.
It is insane to me that you are 8+ months pregnant and this is just coming up now. If you are having weekly appointments, NSTs and fluid checks how are you going to fit all that in while still working an not using those days off?

Luckily, my OB works with me and gives me late appointments so that I don't have to leave work but 30 minutes early. He has been a God send after the hellacious first practice we were involved with. He really has been the most accommodating man ever. I'm very thankful!

nikki0808 · May 2014

Physicians won't release you that early after delivery (standard is 6 weeks for vaginal, 8 weeks for c-section). And your employer likely won't let you come back if you don't have documentation from your doctor saying it is ok.

Do you have short term disability? I agree with others and say talk to HR to find out your options. And I guess for your situation, LO can arrive anytime now so hope they stay in there for you to help you out financially.

ElTrain5 · May 2014

I was tracking my ovulation (CM, CP, BBT) and know I ovulated on day 16, so I just told my ob/midwives that my LMP was two days later that it actually was. Since its a total "guess" date anyway I knew it wouldn't really matter, it just would have bugged the hell out of me the whole time. Dating ultrasound and A/S both predicted the same due date I figured based on my ovulation as well (as opposed to what would have been my due date with LMP).

MollySm · May 2014

Early ultrasounds are much more accurate than later ones in terms of due dates. So I would stick with the assumption that the first u/s was correct. That being said, any of us could go into labor at any time now, so you should still be prepared. I am a nanny, so my work is different, but I went back to work 1.5 weeks after having my daughter. I get to bring her with me, but still getting up anf out every morning was exhausting. We needed my income though, and though I woukd have loved more time at home it was definitely doable. This time I will probably start back at 2 weeks out. Try not to let yourself worry too much about what it will be like. You've got to do what you've got to do for your famiky, and so you'll figure it out. It's great that your H can stay home with baby if this happens. And even if you have to go back, at least it's just until summer break!!

LoveOBX630 · May 2014

nelleebelle said:
I do have some input....I guess.
As a teacher, are you part of a union contract? We don't receive FMLA (we can technically apply but the contractual agreement is a better option) because we have an article that gives us up to a year of unpaid child care (after medical delivery weeks, which are paid through sick leave).

Also, we are able to request days in advance at the discretion of our principal when our leave runs out. Would that be an option? meaning if I run out of leave, I can request 5 additional days and I won't earn them later.

If they "pay you out" at the beginning of summer, won't it only fail to pay you about a week if you go early?

I'm not part of a union contract and don't have a lot of knowledge as this is fairly new to me. I do know we cannot borrow against future days, I found that out today for sure.

And yes, if he is early, the amount of unpaid days will come from the bulk pay that I get at the start of the summer. The downside to getting paid in bulk is you don't see another paycheck for 8 weeks. I guess we will just see how it goes! This is all so new as a profession for me. I'm thankful I have a job though, especially given I'm fresh out of school.

dragonfly711 · May 2014

You need to talk to HR soon. I don't remember but last year before I had my miscarriage I was not able to get either short term disability or FMLA. I can't remember what one but it was because I was not at the job for a year yet. I think it was STD.

I know I probably will have a c section and was told I can't drive for 2 weeks after.

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Due date conflictions

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Married DH 7/30/11

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Married DH 7/30/11

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