non-supportive doc?

jlovesky · April 2014

I have yet to meet my OB. I am just over 10 weeks...we go in to meet him in about 2 weeks. My first child was born a few hours from here so I am having to start new in trying to find a doc since I am not familiar with them here. We have selected the hospital that is in the town I work in as that will be convenient for regular appointments and if I should need to get there quick on a weekday!

With my 1st, I wanted to go natural but just wasn't mentally there. This time around, I am READY to learn and do it! Unfortunately, after talking to other people who have delivered at the hospital we have selected, it sounds like the doctors there aren't overly fond of all natural methods. One dad who's wife did go all natural said he really had to be an ass to the doctor to make them understand that they were NOT going to use meds.

Now I am second guessing our choice...the next closest option is about 30 mins from home and 30 mins from work for me. But I have the strong feeling that if I am set on going natural, I need to choose a place that will be more supportive versus what will be convenient. Feeling torn, kind of hoping to get some advice for any moms that have dealt with docs who fought natural or how much greater the outcome is to be in a more supportive hospital..?

mb314 · April 2014

I was lucky in that my hospital was very natural birth friendly.

One piece of advice would be to get a doula so that your husband isn't the only person fighting for a natural birth. Also, arm yourself with as much education as you can. I found the Bradley Method classes to be super helpful in terms of communication techniques with care providers. They're a commitment and may be hard to do if you have toddler, but getting the Bradley books, and Ina May's books would be helpful.

Good luck!

sschwege · April 2014

I would drive 30 min to be at a hospital that is supportive!

wintersong139 · April 2014

I would still try to do the more natural birth friendly practice. Even if you have a doula, it puts your doula in a really weird place to have to battle with the doctors--I imagine its just likely to piss the doctors off because they might already be anti-doula if they are not natural birth friendly. Any doulas on the board who have experienced this?

jlovesky · April 2014

Thanks all! I am planning to atleast go to first appt and meet this doc as I don't want to go based solely off others opinions but I have my list of questions to ask and will not be afraid to switch if I feel uncomfortable at all!

margaritachikita · April 2014

Definitely go to the more supportive hospital. And ask the doctor for specific statistics about his hospital/practice. A lot of docs will say they are natural friendly but when it comes down to it there are so many strict policies in place that it doesnt happen that way. Find out what his percent c-section rate is, as well as the epidural rate. If you are in a hospital with a 95% epi/40% c section rate, it is unlikely they are truly supportive of unmedicated births. Also, definitely hire a doula, but as PP said, doulas can only help so much against strict policies and you dont want to put your doula in an uncomfortable position where she feels helpless because your needs arent being met. Set yourselves up for success so you dont have to fight for what you want during the already stressful time that is labor and delivery. GL let us know how it goes!

margaritachikita · April 2014

smeame14 said:
I would say, talk to the doctor you have scheduled coming up and get a feel for yourself.....if it is not what you want/are looking for move on. In reality it all depends on who your nurses are on the day of delivery, hospital policy, and of course the doctor/doctor on call for that day. My sister had an awesome experience with her first at one hospital. Went there again for her second, and Sid it was aweful....the nurse wasn't as friendly, a different doctor on call (who was ok, the nurses are who really peeved her) and just a different dynamic for her the second time....ll.just my thoughts.

This. The doctor is usually only there at the very very end (like when baby is crowning). So it all depends on the nurses and hospital policies. Thats why it is important to research the hospital's statistics. Also, ask to take a tour of the L&D ward and mention to a nurse or two that you are thinking about doing unmedicated. Their demeanor/response will tell you a lot about what really goes on there.

MommyAtty · April 2014

I had a crappy nurse at a hospital where in excess of 90% of women get epidurals. But my doc was instrumental in shutting her down. He just flat told the nurse not to mention drugs again unless I asked, after she had put a very hard scare-tactic push on the epidural right as I was being induced for high blood pressure. ("If you are in any pain, your blood pressure will spike and the drugs we will have to give you to prevent seizures will cause you to not be alone with your baby for at least 48 hrs.") So your doc does matter. A lot. My doc informed the nurse that I was having high blood pressure, not preeclampsia, and he was giving me blood pressure meds that should prevent issues, so to get off her high horse. He was awesome. I'm having Baby #2 using him because he was such a great advocate for me.

Sevilla · April 2014

The choice of hospital and dr. is ESSENTIAL for having a successful and supported natural birth (the only exception being if you're a mom who labors very quickly such that there's really no time for the facility to enforce its procedures).

I have driven almost an hour each way for my midwives with my past three pregnancies and it is 100% worth it IMO. Don't go with convenience - go with a provider who matches your philosophy and will support your goals. Go with a baby-friendly hospital that says "Wonderful, we'll support your birth desires, here is what we do for that already without you asking" vs. one that says "What? Why would you want to do that?"

MandMLeona · April 2014

If it's a practice of doctors, you need to know that they all support it. The back up OB for my midwives is very natural birth friendly. She actually had her babies at the birth center with the midwives. However, the rest of her practice is not. Ask about information for the practice as a whole. For me, I would think nothing of driving 30 minutes to a more supportive facility. I had to go to the ER with a threatened miscarriage with our first child. Once the staff heard I had a midwife instead of an OB it got ugly. I was told I was endangering my child for an "experience". They refused to do an ultrasound to determine the cause of the bleeding because they wanted to force me to find an OB to do one. (They used a mobile ultrasound to determine that the baby was in the uterus and the heart was still beating, but made it clear that normally they'd have sent me up to L&D for a detailed u/s.) They insisted that once I'd had bleeding I would be high risk and only have a 50% chance of carrying the baby regardless of how far a long I got.

NYGirl02 · May 2014

I think doctors philosophies matter more in the end weeks as to whether or not they would push an induction or other interventions that aren't conducive to natural birth, rather than at the hospital as they are there only at the very end. It also matters what their csection rate is. I would definitely talk to a doula and find out what their experience has been with your doctor and hospital. They can give a ton of good insight. I think it's worth meeting the doctors and deciding dorm there. GL!

HNRomance · May 2014

we went to a hospital over an hour away to go someplace natural-friendly. My DH was really against it at first but really got on board after getting more educated and hearing stories from other friends about how awful or undesirable their experiences were at the nearby hospitals. Meet with your OB first and then follow your gut instinct. If your OB doesn't seem completely on-board and you don't want to fight with them during labor then go with somewhere more open to the kind of birth you want. It's worth the drive for a great experience and 30 minutes is not bad at all!

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