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LindseyRae4 · May 2014

Hi all...this is all new to me...my first time posting in an online group, my first pregnancy, and now my first loss. Reading everyone's posts during this difficult time has really helped me feel less alone, and I felt the need to introduce myself (I'm sorry this is kind of long).

First of all, I am so sorry for everyone's losses and the sadness you all are feeling.

My husband and I were so excited when we found out we were expecting. We had our first ultrasound a few weeks ago, and things looked small but good. This past Tuesday night, I started spotting, although it was brown and we were already scheduled for another ultrasound on Wednesday, so I tried not to get too concerned. Everything I read said that brown spotting in the first trimester is relatively common and not necessarily a sign of something bad. On Wednesday, as soon as I saw the ultrasound, I could tell the sac had not grown much in the past two weeks. There was still a yolk sac and fetal pole, but no heartbeat, and by this point in the pregnancy (8 weeks), we should have seen more. The baby only measured 6.5 weeks. I started bleeding by Thursday morning and when I saw my OB on Thursday afternoon, she stated she was definitely concerned about miscarriage, however she still wanted to repeat the ultrasound in one week. She explained to me that a miscarriage would feel like "the worst period ever." Friday evening, I started cramping, and immediately knew what was happening. I don't want to go into many details, but I don't think I could ever have prepared myself for the experience. I was in so much pain. I have never had a child, but I felt like I was in labor. It was excruciating...physically and emotionally. Once it was over, the physical pain was immediately gone, but I am still having a lot of trouble dealing with it emotionally.

Yesterday (Saturday), my husband and I tried to keep ourselves busy. We ran errands and went to a movie. He bought me flowers and just about lost it on the florist who wouldn't leave him alone...she asked him if he was buying flowers for Mother's Day, and he told her no. She continued to offer him unwelcome advice on types of flowers and repeatedly asked for the occasion. He told her, "just because," but then later told me he wanted to bite her head off and say, "because my wife just had a miscarriage!! Now leave me alone!" I feel so bad for him. This is killing him as much as me, and he is trying to be so strong for me. He has no one to be strong for him. I can't even handle the simplest things. We went to the grocery store, and I walked past the deli counter and thought, "no turkey sandwiches for me!" Then I realized...wait, I'm not pregnant anymore. This is only one example...everything I see keeps reminding me. I feel like it is happening to my husband too. He recently saw a very pregnant woman walking out of a gas station, downing a Monster drink. It doesn't seem fair. He responds emotionally with anger, and I respond with crying, but I feel like I could just lose it on anyone that comes near me.

It has only been two days since the MC, and I see my doctor again on Wednesday. I am just hoping she will tell me that it is over and I won't need a D&C. I don't know how much more I can take.

As far as anyone else who experienced a natural MC...was your experience similar (extreme pain) and did you end up needing a D&C?

cf101009 · May 2014

I'm sorry for your loss and all the heartache. It's a very hard emotional process. I'm two and a half weeks post d&c and still dealing with it, though better. I was having a natural m/c and the pain was excruciating. My doctor ended up having me come to the ER to have a d&c due to pain and wanting to make sure they got it all. Afterward, the pain was almost immediately gone.

meredithcarole · May 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that the natural miscarriage took care of everything. Most likely it did, but if you have to have a D&C I will tell you that it is really not that bad physically. There is a thread at the top of the page with women's experiences with all types of miscarriages. If you haven't read it it may help shed some light on how things went for most people.

JellicalParker · May 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope everything went as it should naturally so that they don't need to do anything more. Sending hugs your way!

tlc35 · May 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you don't have to have a D&C as well.

Julz81 · May 2014

I'm so sorry for you loss, I also had a natural miscarriage and it took care of everything. I hope it does for you also.

LindseyRae4 · May 2014

Thank you everyone...I do now see the miscarriage thread at the top of the page, and that does help too. Thanks so much for the support!

stephy1221 · May 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find some comfrot and peace at this time.

nohalo21 · May 2014

In sorry for your loss. It's been 2 months since my loss and I still find myself tearing up at times. The emotions will catch you off guard. Hope your appt goes well and that you are starting to heal.

tlboatner · May 2014

I had a NMC one week ago today. I woke up and was bleeding. The week before I was told I had a blood clot and that it would pass so I should expect some blood to follow. Well, about 30 minutes after being up and moving I starting cramping extremely bad and had a sudden urge that everything was falling out (if that makes sense). I went to the toilet and so much blood and tissue just came pouring out of me. I just started screaming at my husband and telling him what was happening. By the time I got to Dr, everything was gone from my uterus. I bled extremely heavy for about 48 hours then it got lighter and lighter and has now stopped.
It was the single most traumatic event I have ever experienced. Very painful and tons of blood. I am so sorry you are experiencing this. T&P!

Mrs Sweet Tea · May 2014

I am so sorry for your loss! It's been two months since mine and healing is a process. But that's why we are all here, to help each other heal.

Feegan · May 2014

I will be keeping you in my thoughts tomorrow; good luck at the doctor. While I did not have a NMC, having opted for the medication to start it instead (which didn't work), I understand the feeling of just wanting this nightmare to be over. I hope that tomorrow's appointment gives you closure on the physical aspect of things so that you can focus on dealing with the emotional healing. Hugs to you and your DH, I wish you didn't have to join us here, but just know that you are not alone and this board is here to help you through this mess.

jennadesigns · May 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. While I didn't have a NMC (I had a D&C) I can absolutely relate to the emotional side of things. For me, that's been the most difficult to deal with. My partner and I are not even talking at this point - I think because we are both processing this differently. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry and he'd rather not think about it. I hope your NMC goes smoothly and you don't need a D&C on top of it. Hang in there and know that we're all here for you. The ladies on this board have been wonderful since I've been here. Hugs.

LindseyRae4 · May 2014

Thank you everyone!

You are all so sweet, and I really appreciate all your T&P. My appt today went really well...the NMC seemed to get rid of everything, so now I am just waiting on AF so we can try again.
My T&P are with you all as well!!

GracefulStar · May 2014

I had a natural mc and can relate regarding the pain. While I bled a lot I didn't pass the tissue until a few days later. So long as you passed everything you should be ok and your follow up appt will confirm. Also, I took Advil for the pain, your doctor may recommend something. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

scrang74 · May 2014

So sorry for your loss. I didn't have a NMC but had a D&C 2 weeks ago, alhough it now feels like 6 months ago. I completely understand your emotional healing, I felt very out of whack the first week. I had the same reaction as you did with deli turkey; saw it in the fridge and burst into tears! It did get a little better every day though as my hormones returned to normal and had time to process. I ended up talking to an acquaintance who is a family therapist and that really helped, both with the emotional healing and realizing physically I'll heal and get back on the horse soon. Good luck to you and our husband

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