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My 30th birthday

cf101009cf101009 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
This Friday is my 30th birthday. I had been kind of bummed about it, but after finding out I was pregnant in March, I started to get excited about what a wonderful year 30 was going to be. I was finally at peace with being 30. Not that is all gone. I'm devastated about it and knowing I'm 30 and nowhere closer to starting our family.
My husband has been so great and supportive. He wants me to start enjoying this week since he knows I always get really excited for my birthday, but I'm struggling. How do you move past the sadness and start enjoying life again? And how do I deal with knowing 30 will not be the best year of my life anymore? I know my husband will probably do something special for me and for his sake at least, I want to show appreciation and enjoy it for him.
Married 10/10/2009
MC 4/23/2014
BFP 8/1/2014, expecting our rainbow on 4/12/2015

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Re: My 30th birthday

  • MSU_Girl1202MSU_Girl1202 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how hard that is...my baby was due on my 30th birthday later this year, so i 'm expecting to have a rough birthday. I think what's been helping me through, is just thinking 'maybe 30 will be a really great year and that I'm meant to have a baby when I'm 30, just not on my birthday'. So, I don't know if this helps at all , but 30 could still be the best year of your life...maybe you'll just have a baby a little later in the year than you thought
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d      
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
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  • meredithcarolemeredithcarole member
    Happy birthday. I am sorry you are having a hard time. My 35th birthday is Sunday so I can relate. The thing is, no one knows the future. 30 might just prove to be the best year yet.
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
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  • nohalo21nohalo21 member
    Happy birthday! I agree with what the other gals said. If this whole thing has taught me anything, it is patience. I am 35 and always said that I would never try past that age. Here I am. I'm in the mind set that the best is yet to come. It's hard to keep a positive outlook when things don't go as we want. Hoping your 30s prove to be the better than your 20s!
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  • avioletskyavioletsky member
    I can relate. I thought for sure we'd be done having kids well before the age of 30. Here I am, 31 years old and still no baby. It just takes time to process that you have no control over the timeline or the outcome. It's not your fault, nature has a way of doing whatever it's going to do. (Hugs) my only advice is to do what makes you happy even if you have to force yourself.
    Married to the love of my life since 2005
    TTC #1 - 
    BFP # 1: 5/2006 - m/c @ 6 weeks (natural) / EDD 1/17/2007
    BFP # 2: 7/2007 - chemical pregnancy / EDD 3/18/2008
    BFP # 3: 6/2013 - 7/9 u/s: No hb, measuring 2 weeks behind. Very high HCG#'s 7/21 u/s: No change, ruled out molar pregnancy. Completed Natural Missed M/C 7/26/2013 / EDD 2/5/2014
    TTA with Diaphragm. 
    CFNBC
    I didn't want to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference. - Ernest Hemingway 

    Licensed foster family. No current placements. Open to adoption but that is not our goal and as such we don't have dual foster/adopt home study.
    2012-2013: Former Foster Mommy to 1 bubbly little 8 y.o. girl that has moved onto an amazing adoptive home.

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  • cf101009cf101009 member
    Thank you everyone. My husband was so amazing to me and our friends were wonderful, so it ended up being just what I needed.
    Married 10/10/2009
    MC 4/23/2014
    BFP 8/1/2014, expecting our rainbow on 4/12/2015

    Pregnancy Ticker
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