Parenting

Return of the vaguebooker...

I know its Mothers Day, and I love my MIL...but it really irks me when she pulls the passive aggressive vaguebooking crap.

We live 2 hrs away from all of our family, and usually we will take a trip down to celebrate Mother's day on a different weekend, since we celebrate Mother's day just us, usually going out and doing something as a family.

Well, this month has just been crazy hectic so we havent gotten a chance to visit. We called and wished each mom a happy Mother's day and we're planning to visit them soon.

Well what do ya know...my MIL just decides to randomly post on fb "a son is a son til he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for LIFE!!" One of her friends commented "nah my son will always be my son" and she replied "wait til he takes a wife".

I mean whatever, she's always been one to put her entire life on fb (not my style, but to each their own I guess), and I choose not to engage in drama on social networking sites, but c'mon. This kind of irks me. I try to understand that it may be difficult for her to have her son living far away, but the passive aggressive comments are doing nothing productive for her in the situation. She's the one thats always busy with her social life and chooses to never make the time to come visit, and then she lays the guilt on MH for not coming to see her. Its a two way street, lady. Give us a break here.

I mean, we get along and everything, and maybe I'm taking it too personally, but how should I handle stuff like this? Ignore it like usually do? Continue to kill with kindness? I'm not trying to be an insensitive bitch to how she feels, but I hate how she's always putting the guilt trip on MH for stuff.
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Re: Return of the vaguebooker...

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  • MrsT0514MrsT0514 member
    edited May 2014
    @bearsbearsbears‌ MH doesnt own a Fb account and I didnt go and tattle on her to him. Fuck that.

    But usually, he tends to ignore her passive aggressiveness and completely tune her out. He does get snippy with herhere and there if/when she gets too "over the top" about stuff, or if it annoys him enough, but I guess he's dealt with her attitude for so long it doesnt phase him much anymore.

    But, he's also a nonconfrontational person in general. He feels like if he ignores it long enough, it goes away. I, OTOH, usually have no qualms with letting someone know how I feel. But shes not my mom...so I try to let him deal with her for the most part.

    Eta words are hard
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  • @mbenit4‌ what's the difference between celebrating on a day before or after? Its a different day, nonetheless.
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  • RVASC811 said:

    mbenit4 said:

    I don't want to comment because I feel like I would want my son to see me either before or on Mother's Day.

    How is that his hypothetical wife's fault, though?
    This. I mean, MH asked me what I wanted for mother's day. I told him...just a day together as a family...me, him, and our son. Then we can plan a different day to honor our moms in lieu of mothers day. By all means, I want to honor our moms, but ideally, I don't want to spend my day in traffic driving 2 hours down and 2 hours back on a sunday. That doesnt leave us much quality time with either of them anyway.
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  • Aaaaand cue the family drama. BIL just called and is fuming about how MIL is drunk (as usual) and got all pissy bc he spent the day with his wife and kid instead coming to see her.

    Looks like this situation is about to fix itself.
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  • CTGirl30 said:

    That's annoying for sure. I don't know what good commenting would do or responding in any fashion - best to just ignore...but I'd have a really hard time NOT saying anything. Just don't know if anything positive would come from that, you know?

    Yeah, I'm in agreement with you, so I wont say anything, but since BIL called and bitched, now MH is ticked off with her. So it looks like I just need to grab some popcorn and watch the drama unfold. /sarcasm font

    Seriously speaking though...she does this shit to herself. And then wonders why her sons get so annoyed at her.
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  • pobrecita said:

    I fucking hate that quote.

    The "takes" a wife part really grates on me.

    SQUIRREL!!!

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  • I sympathize. My MIL does the passive-aggressive Facebook thing too. We live a plane ride away and she's always making not-so-veiled comments about how long it's been since she's seen her son. Never mind that she was supposed to visit us this year... She has this crazy idea that we're rich and can afford plane fare out to see her every year (LOL NOPE, and especially not if we ever want to go on our own vacation!) 

    Sorry your MIL is being a B. I feel like we need some sort of club. Or maybe a tumblr like STFUParents except only for MILs. 
    I'm a fuckin' T-Rex.
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  • I'm glad I don't have FB.

    This. Yet another post that just solidifies what a great idea it is for me to stay out of the social media realm.

    Yeah...we literally JUST got on fb late last year, mainly bc all of our family lives out of state, so its nice to keep them in the loop and show pics of DS. But really..MIL knows how to throw a dose of drama into everything.

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  • @Mos3‌ that sounds pretty awful. Sorry you had to deal with that.
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  • @fredalina‌ oh boy. Is your DH going to call and let them know? Sounds like a mini shit show waiting to happen.
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  • Ehhh well, as long as you dont care, I guess of she wants to come then so be it. Maybe mention it nonchalantly if you happen to speak to her before then by phone/face time that she doesn't need to feel obligated to come...but I'm sure she maybe just wants to be there.
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  • LC122LC122 member
    I probably wouldn't say anything. But it would take some self-control not to post something like "Is that what you told FIL's mother?" or something along those lines.

    I haven't felt like the target of MIL's posts but she did make a point of talking about how excited she was to see her granddaughter sitting on her couch texting her friends this weekend. I'm sure the passive aggressive was completely lost on my niece.
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