Anybody else have mixed feelings on this Mother's Day?

JCM285 · May 2014

I truly hope that you all say "no" and that you are all enjoying your day to the utmost. I am just saying this because PGAL brain is getting the best of me this weekend and although I am happy to say this is my first Mother's Day as a pregnant woman ever, I still don't feel like outwardly celebrating. My mother and MIL came over today and we made them breakfast but I had a headache the entire time and couldn't keep my mind off the fact that my next appt. and U/S is tomorrow. This is esp. unnerving, because during my first pregnancy, I lost my LO at about 10 1/2 weeks and it was a missed m/c. Tomorrow I will be 9w6d, so I am very quickly approaching this milestone. When I saw my chiropractor yesterday (who knows about my history of loss and current pregnancy), he said, "Well, why don't you look happy?" and I replied, "I'm not unhappy. I'm just nervous." I don't know any other way to describe it. DH and our moms are starting to get excited about it again. We even flipped through a baby name book for fun. This is exactly what was happening Feb. 2013 before my first m/c and I feel as though I'm experiencing de ja vu. I guess that's why I have mixed feelings about this Mother's Day. Anybody else?

KMW08 · May 2014

It's really just another day to me. As a matter of fact I actually bought a MALE coworker lunch & told him happy Mother's Day & Nurses Week LOL he loved it.

I asked dh if he was doing anything for me, his reply "hell no! I'm not jinxing anything!" Men. Smh. Although I somewhat side with him shhhhh

JenniferAnn1972 · May 2014

I understand your feelings & wish you the best for this pregnancy.

E&B0811 · May 2014

I understand where you are coming from. Before today I was excited because, like you, this is my first Mother's Day as a pregnant mama. But, throughout the day I have received the sweetest text messages from some of my friends that know about our three losses.

I guess I just hadn't really considered how sad I would feel about my angels despite this awesome, healthy Vigorous Baby I am carrying right now. We haven't told anyone except my mom about the baby yet so I'm also feeling conflicted about the love I'm getting - like I'm lying to my friends. YKWIM?

Anyhow, all this to say I get where you are coming from. (((Hugs)))

mmsweeney1 · May 2014

Sorry your first Mother's Day wasn't the best it could be - I think we all understand the mixed feelings around here. Good luck tomorrow!!

MommaAshley12 · May 2014

I understand where you are coming from. Last Mother's Day I was miscarrying my first baby and it was a very sad day for me. I can't help but be a little sad today even though I have a healthy, fat baby in my belly. I hope you have a great appt tomorrow and get to see your sweet LO growing well. Big (((hugs))) and Happy Mother's Day to you!!

JCM285 · May 2014

Thanks ladies and big hugs to all of you too! I think being PGAL just puts a different spin on meaningful holidays for us in general. So sorry @MommaAshley12‌ that today had also an especially sad undertone to it although I am happy we are all in a better place today. Sending you my T&Ps for a continued H&H 9 months!

sweetpea2003 · May 2014

I understand that deja vu feeling. Last year I had my u/s where we discovered my miscarriage the week after a family vacation. I have an u/s this Thursday... and last week we were on a family vacation. The timing does not escape my PGAL brain. I sincerely hope you have a wonderful ultrasound today and can break out your baby naming book with confidence later

.

LifeofCat · May 2014

You made it through yesterday

(((hugs))) I understand these conflicting feelings. I wish you all the best for your ultrasound.

This was my first Mother's Day without my mother and Marianne. Although I'm not fond of "Hallmark" holidays, I was dreading it. I cried the night before, but I'm proud to say I did not let my PGAL brain nor my mama's loss get the best of me, for their sake. I dragged my ass outside and had breakfast with friends (DH was gone for the weekend) and had a delicious lobster meal with my father and sister. I am grateful for Marianne and her little sister-to-be for making me a mother, and that I wasn't too mopey about my own mother; it's not what she would have wanted.

I hope today is a better day for you

JCM285 · May 2014

Totally with all of you on the jinxing thing. We ended up having a really great appointment today so we are super relieved though!

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