Aggressive cat and baby (long)

crystaldh · May 2014

My cat Luigi has recently started attacking our other cat Pablo. They have lived together relatively peacefully for 8 years until three months ago when Pablo escaped into our apartment building's hallway and was found by a neighbor who kept him with her cats, until we found him a few hours later. When he returned Luigi attacked him viciously. I figured it was because he'd picked up the smell of the other cats.

I reintroduced them over three days and all was happy until about a month later, when, for no reason I can understand, Luigi suddenly attacked Pablo again. I went towards them and he attacked me, leaving scars on my legs. This time I took them both to the vet, we put Luigi on an antidepressant, separated them and reintroduced them over a period of ten days. Everything was fine for about a month. Then, a few days ago, it happened again for no apparent reason. It was so vicious that we had to separate them with a super soaker. We immediately decided to take Pablo to my father-in-law's house. Even after that, it took Luigi a good 7 or 8 hours to calm down and he was hissing and growling at us. Now, that he has the house to himself, he seems fine and is back to his gentle, cuddly self.

It's very strange that we've now had three vicious, fight-to-the death attacks in three months.

Now that I'm expecting my first baby, I'm afraid of how Luigi will react.

He's very attached to me and territorial. Now I know that he can also be incredibly aggressive.

Even after the second attack, I was willing to keep him and take all the necessary precautions to introduce him to the baby, but now I feel like it's too big of a risk. I can't wait and see if he'll be fine with the baby. One attack would be too many. Plus, we're in a small two bedroom apartment. I may be able to keep them separate when the baby is little, but what about when the baby starts crawling?

My vet suggested putting him down because she said I can't rehome an aggressive cat. I know there are good Samaritans out there that work with these cats, but they usually have other animals, and Luigi can't be with other animals.

I want the most humane solution possible. I will not put him in a shelter where he will be miserable, scared and probably euthanized anyway. Or a non-kill where he will just be miserable because he's scared of other animals. I won't give him to a stranger either. I'm considering either finding someone with no animals or children that is a friend of a friend or recommended by someone or put him down. I don't want him to suffer or be stressed out. I've been crying for three days straight about this. I'm completely heartbroken.

Any suggestions? I'd love to hear if anyone has had a similar experience.

moroccojade · May 2014

What a tough decision.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

crystaldh · May 2014

Thank you. It's horrible. I want the baby and the cat to be able to coexist peacefully more than anything--that's what I'd always envisioned-- but the baby's safety comes first.

DoubleUp8 · May 2014

I don't really have any suggestions. You could always contact a cat specific rescue to see if they have any "only pet" space to foster him and work with him. I hope you can figure something out that is good for you and Luigi. :-(

Jpinky9 · May 2014

I am so sorry you are dealing with that! That is a tough situation! I have no real advice or experience, just sending you some luck! Keep us posted!

kepper6000 · May 2014

This is a really tough situation and I'm so sorry you are dealing with it. I don't have much advice but I will say, for what it's worth, that while my cats on occasion get aggressive with each other, that hasn't translated to aggression toward people. I can understand not wanting to risk it though. Have you searched for any foster or shelters in your area that specifically deal with these issues, or considered consulting with a cat behaviorist? (I know that sounds ridiculous but they actually exist). Best of luck to you!

pennyandandy · May 2014

You mentioned that Pablo went to your FIL's house, does he have other animals? Would it be possible to swap them and have FIL take Luigi or is that not an option?

One of our cats was not aggressive, but after DS was born he just became absolutely depressed. He hid from us, stopped eating and was just so sad. He ended up going to live with my mom and dad. It was hard, but we still see him, I know he is loved and he is so much happier.

I know yours is a much harder decision, but you are right, one attack would be too many. I hope you find some resources and help for your situation.

@runningmama14 (hope I got that right) is a vet-any suggestions?

crystaldh · May 2014

Unfortunately, Luigi and my FIL don't have great chemistry. I guess we're just happy that he took one of the cats and don't want to press our luck.

crystaldh · May 2014

Yes, if @runningmama14 is a vet, I'd love to hear from her.

Melodyhay · May 2014

You might look online and see of Jackson Galaxy has any good tips. He's that guy from the show, "My Cat from Hell". I've referenced him several times for my "furry problem child". T&Ps!

Maelara · May 2014

I agree with you on not keeping the cat and I NEVER say that. If he has even attacked you, that's a problem. You have some time to find him a new home, so try that first. There are many people out there that take animals with issues. Try that. Your cat might be aggressive but that doesn't mean he can't be saved. Good luck to you with this very difficult situation!

crystaldh · May 2014

Thank you ladies for the good wishes and advice. It's not going to be an easy decision and I appreciate the support.

ssstephanie214 · May 2014

there's this excellent website, thecatsite.com, and it's been very helpful in addressing my cat's behavioral problems. everybody is a serious cat person and you'll get prompt responses.

even if you don't sign up, there are literally hundreds of posts on this same problem that you could browse (in their "cat behavior" section).

he's neutered, right? it seems like your cat is having a hard time transitioning to his senior years and the change in behavior could be medical. it seems like you've already been to the vet, though. i'm surprised that they suggested you put him down.

i also know that some people swear by the Feliway scent diffusers and calming collars.

crystaldh · May 2014

He is neutered and we've had the Feliway plugged in for a few months now. I spoke with the vet again today and she said it could just be psychological or a brain tumor. She suggested putting him down because he's attacked me and a couple days ago when this happened he was so aggressive towards us that we had to leave our apartment. She also said that he apparently isn't happy.

I posted this problem on thecatsite too. I'm waiting for a response.

marajay6 · May 2014

You make it sound like your vet was pretty quick to come to the conclusion that your cat should be put down. If that is the case, I would recommend finding a new vet.

crystaldh · May 2014

Well this is a problem the vet has seen Luigi about before.

runningmama14 · May 2014

@crystaldh - sorry for the delay. I've been a bit busy and forgot. I am a vet, and I'm so sorry you are going through this.

If you are 100% set on trying to make this work (keeping both cats together around baby) and you have the means, I would highly recommend you seek out a veterinary behaviorist. They are going to be able to offer you so much more than a trainer or a regular vet. Look here: https://www.dacvb.org/resources/find/ If there are no accredited vet behaviorists near you, ask your vet if they are willing to help with a consult with one. If they aren't, ask if they know any area vets that have an interest in behavior you could go to for this problem.

There are a lot of options available, including meds, but without a complete plan that includes behavior modification and environmental changes, meds won't do a lot of good. Another good resource that had some DIY type recommendations that are very sound is https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior All info provided is written by veterinary behaviorists, one of whom I know well and would trust with my cat in a second.

Now, I understand that not everyone is willing and/or able to pursue that, but I think it is unlikely you will solve your problem without that level of intervention. Your cats behavior poses a real risk to your baby. I had a tech lose the use of part of her hand from a cat bite. They can cause serious harm. I wouldn't recommend taking a half-baked approach.

If that isn't the way you are going to go, then I have to say I agree that euthanasia may be the best option. Yes, there are people out there that take on difficult to place animals and rehab them, however, they are very few and far between. I often have trouble finding homes for adult cats without any behavior issues, so finding an ideal placement for a cat with aggression issues will be no easy task. I agree with you that a shelter or no-kill facility is not a good option here. That can be one of the most inhumane things to do sometimes. Pets deserve to be loved members of a family/home. When that is no longer possible for whatever reason, I think it is our responsibility as their owners to give them a dignified, pain-free goodbye.

Again, I'm sorry you are going through this. I know how hard this can be. Let me know if I can help in any other way.

phdprocrastinator · May 2014

I'm chiming in because we had a slightly similar situation when preparing for DD. Luckily, our cat didn't become aggressive to us, but he did start peeing everywhere and he was getting aggressive with our other cat and dog.

Our vet spelled it out for us: if we didn't fix it, we would either need to rehome him (unlikely) or euthanize. For this reason, she recommended we start to allow him outdoors. Normally, she doesn't encourage indoor/outdoor cats, but considering he's neutered this was preferable to rehoming and euthanization. Given his peeing behavior, she hypothesized that he felt he needed more territory. We also did the Feliway diffusers and an antidepressant (we had it compounded so we put it on the inside of his ear). We also made sure to give him attention throughout the day.

After about 2 years, we weaned off the antidepressant, but he remains indoor/outdoor (which was tough for me after he was lost for four days). He's remarkably friendly now. He even lets DD pet him and cuddle him.

It was a lot of work initially, but I wanted to give you some hope! Best of luck!

crystaldh · May 2014

This is great advice! Thank you both @runningmama14 and @phprocrastinator. The other cat (Pablo) has been staying with my FIL, and Luigi was fine for a few days, but then one day, he came running out of the bedroom with hair standing on all ends and yowling (which is how he acts before he attacks). I didn't know what he was going to do, but because he's attacked me before, I ran into the bathroom and my husband managed to corral him into the bedroom. We left him there for a few hours until he calmed down. We have no idea what set him off, but obviously this isn't just an issue with the other cat, and we now know that he can go crazy with just two relatively quiet adults in the house, so that is scary.

I want to try rehabilitating him, but I'm afraid that we won't really know how well it worked until the baby arrives and I don't want the baby to be the guinea pig, so to speak. Between these episodes, he's sweet, cuddly, sometimes agitated, but friendly. That just makes it so much harder. You would never know it's the same cat. He's like a little werewolf. It's a hard decision, that I still can't seem to make.

2ndGeneration · May 2014

I'm going to be kind of blunt here. The cat sounds very unhappy, perhaps he does have a problem in his brain like the vet said, or some kind of illness. You will have your hands full with a newborn, not to mention trying to fix a crazy viscious cat issue. Babies cry and make noises that agitate people and animals. Are you going to hide in the bathroom with the baby? What if you have your back turned that ONE second and he injures the baby???

I'd put the cat down.

crystaldh · May 2014

@2ndGeneration I've been thinking the same thing actually. Intellectually, those are the the thoughts that have been going through my head. But then of course, there's the heart.... But my top priority is my baby.

brooklyngirl18 · May 2014

2ndGeneration said:

I'm going to be kind of blunt here. The cat sounds very unhappy, perhaps he does have a problem in his brain like the vet said, or some kind of illness. You will have your hands full with a newborn, not to mention trying to fix a crazy viscious cat issue. Babies cry and make noises that agitate people and animals. Are you going to hide in the bathroom with the baby? What if you have your back turned that ONE second and he injures the baby???

I'd put the cat down.

i agree with @2ndgeneration. DH and i adopted an 8 week old puppy a week before bfp. he has been biting a lot and can be agressive. we're assuming it is just the puppy phase and plan to get him trained but we have discussed and prepared ourselves for the fact that if he is still acting this way when the baby comes he's gotta go. thankfully he seems to be getting better a he gets older but still some days i wonder if he will really be ok with a baby. good luck

crystaldh · May 2014

@brooklyngirl18 I'm not an animal expert, but I think in general dogs are a bit more predictable and trainable than cats, so you might be ok. I could be wrong.

My sister has a chocolate lab and he acts a bit jealous and resentful, mostly ignoring the baby and going off on his own, but at least he hasn't shown any aggression. There are lots of people that have babies and animales with no problem. I so wish that was our case. I think it depends entirely on the temperament of the animal in question. (Btw, I used to live in Brooklyn too!)

runningmama14 · May 2014

brooklyngirl18 said:

2ndGeneration said:

I'm going to be kind of blunt here. The cat sounds very unhappy, perhaps he does have a problem in his brain like the vet said, or some kind of illness. You will have your hands full with a newborn, not to mention trying to fix a crazy viscious cat issue. Babies cry and make noises that agitate people and animals. Are you going to hide in the bathroom with the baby? What if you have your back turned that ONE second and he injures the baby???

I'd put the cat down.

i agree with @2ndgeneration. DH and i adopted an 8 week old puppy a week before bfp. he has been biting a lot and can be agressive. we're assuming it is just the puppy phase and plan to get him trained but we have discussed and prepared ourselves for the fact that if he is still acting this way when the baby comes he's gotta go. thankfully he seems to be getting better a he gets older but still some days i wonder if he will really be ok with a baby. good luck

Get the dog in training now. The older he gets, the less trainable he will be. Honestly, the ideal window to begin dog training is prior to four months of age. Waiting to see if it gets better just makes it harder to fix and more likely you will get rid of a dog that was completely redeemable.

brooklyngirl18 · May 2014

crystaldh said:

@brooklyngirl18 I'm not an animal expert, but I think in general dogs are a bit more predictable and trainable than cats, so you might be ok. I could be wrong.
My sister has a chocolate lab and he acts a bit jealous and resentful, mostly ignoring the baby and going off on his own, but at least he hasn't shown any aggression. There are lots of people that have babies and animales with no problem. I so wish that was our case. I think it depends entirely on the temperament of the animal in question. (Btw, I used to live in Brooklyn too!)

yes i think thats true about dogs being more trainable. my dog is a chocolate lab/dacshound mix we think. small world! i lived there all my life and recently moved to westchester. i miss brooklyn

brooklyngirl18 · May 2014

@runningmama14 thanks for the advice he's just about 4 months old now. we think he was a little younger then they told us when we adopted him. i know petco has a 6 week puppy training course. im asking your professional opinion, do you know if that is any good? should we use a private trainer?

runningmama14 · May 2014

Petco isnt bad, but it depends on the individual trainer. One thing to be aware of is that their training is 100% positive reinforcement. Meaning you reward good behavior, but don't really punish bad behavior. Personally, I prefer a mix, which is what most private trainers provide. And punish doesn't mean beating the dog :-)

I find that dogs that are trained soley with positive rewards tend to be the dogs that only do what you want when you have a treat in your hand.

I'm guessing there is probably other puppy classes near you that offer more of a mix. The trainer we use for our dogs is only slightly more than petco or petsmart and so much better. You might check with local humane societies or ASPCA type groups in your area for recommendations. If you don't have luck that way, feel free to pm your location and I can ask other vets in your area if they have someone they like.

brooklyngirl18 · May 2014

runningmama14 said:

Petco isnt bad, but it depends on the individual trainer. One thing to be aware of is that their training is 100% positive reinforcement. Meaning you reward good behavior, but don't really punish bad behavior. Personally, I prefer a mix, which is what most private trainers provide. And punish doesn't mean beating the dog :-) I find that dogs that are trained soley with positive rewards tend to be the dogs that only do what you want when you have a treat in your hand. I'm guessing there is probably other puppy classes near you that offer more of a mix. The trainer we use for our dogs is only slightly more than petco or petsmart and so much better. You might check with local humane societies or ASPCA type groups in your area for recommendations. If you don't have luck that way, feel free to pm your location and I can ask other vets in your area if they have someone they like.

thanks a lot, really appreciate the advice.

crystaldh · May 2014

@runningmama14 I love that we have a vet on this board! Thank you for being so generous with your advice!

@brooklyngirl18 Small world indeed! I actually moved from Brooklyn to Westchester too. Tarrytown to be exact.

traxomatic · May 2014

So sorry you're going through this : (

@runningmama14‌ I'm a vet too! (Haven't posted at all yet...) I'm a FTM and this is totally off subject but do you have any other children? Just wondering if you were full or part time after baby...I obviously have no idea what it'll be like.

runningmama14 · May 2014

@traxomatic‌ - oh yay! Welcome! I'm kind of a FTM and STM at the same time. We've been foster parents for some time, but this is our first biological child. We've had up to three at once long-term, and I've always stayed full time. I plan on going back to full time again after maternity leave. I'm not a big fan of my schedule, and would much prefer a full time schedule with a little more flex, like I've had at other clinics. I currently work 6 days a week (with two half days), and I really dislike it.

traxomatic · May 2014

@runningmama14‌ - glad to be here : ) 6 day weeks must be tough! I'm on a five day week now but just have a long commute. Great to hear from another vet though!

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