July 2013 Moms

Toddler Help

Abby has been having these insane meltdowns when Daddy is home. She wants him to hold her & stand (not sit) up the entire time. This started the last couple of days.

She started just melting down after waking up from a nap with me. Like, screaming & flailing on her floor for hours. I try to talk, cuddle, time out...you name it, & it doesn't work. She just cries & cries.

Last night she melted down at my friend's graduation party. We left because I didn't want to take the focus off him with her insanity. Nothing seems to hurt, but nothing you offer seems right. Everything & anything sends her into hysterics.

WTAF?!


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Re: Toddler Help

  • I don't know the answer, but gosh do I get your frustration.

    Last week the three-nager had a meltdown because I had buttered his bread, and he asked for jam. I started to put the jam over the butter, and he started raging because "ON THE OTHER SIDE MAMA!" "I WANT THE JAM ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!!" There was no reasoning, There was no explaining. There was no hugging that could overcome the rage. It just was.

    On at least one occasion, the little guy's unstoppable tantrums were the result of not feeling well. I'm sure you've already thought of that - but you might check her temp.

    Have there been any big changes in schedule? I doubt so.

    Maybe when she's not tantrumming, you can talk about how to show your anger. I think I read that somewhere, but I haven't done it myself.

    Hugs to you - I know it is super tough.

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  • She's got allergy cruds (cough & drainage). So that could be part of it, but like your jam situation there seems to be no logical reasoning. Just insanity.


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  • It seems pretty normal at this age... And although she's having speech therapy and getting better, could it be frustration at not being able to express herself?

    Marnie has gotten a lot better as her vocabulary expanded. Last night she was crying hysterically (she was with her dad, so I don't know what triggered it). I went in and got through the hysterics to talk to her (it's not always successful). I asked her why she was crying and she told me she didn't know. So I said, "then why don't you stop?" So she did. (Oooohhhhkayyy...?)

    Sometimes you just have to judge whether it's an attention-seeking behaviour in which case I usually ignore her and tell her she can have a time out until she's done. If she's legitimately upset about something (if you can tell), I try to calm her down and talk it out so she can reason out why she's upset. :)

    They're complex little creatures. And apparently (one of the ladies a LaFF who used to be a councillor told me) they are actually getting their first little dose of hormones at this age... Which I'm sure helps things SO much.

    Totally normal behaviour, and a little bewildering. ;)

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  • You should totes ask your mother in law what she thinks ;)

    & sorry you're going through this. I am sure we won't be far behind you :).
  • So sorry mama. Could it be that she is waking up too soon from her nap? I know that whenever DS1 wakes up too soon, all hell breaks loose, and we don't dare ever wake him from a nap. We usually give him a little time after he has woken in case he feels like lying back down and going back to sleep (we still have a video monitor in there so we can see if he has woken up). My other guess might be that she is still working through feeling frustrated about expressing herself? But the timing with the nap seems more than coincidental, I'm guessing its sleep related. Either way--I'm sorry and hope this phase passes soon!
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  • MRadsMRads member
    I don't have a toddler, but our froend's two year old was over last night. She was crying because the kitty was too close to her, while she was meowing and trying to pet the kitty.

    Not looking forward to the toddler tantrums.
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  • cwhitloccwhitloc member
    edited May 2014
    My toddler does the same thing with naps. If she wakes up mid-nap, all hell breaks loose. She is inconsolable and thrashes her body. If we just leave her alone and don't ask what's wrong (because that only makes it worse), she eventually goes back to sleep. Sometimes I just hold her and tell her it is okay and she calms down. A lot of times she doesn't know what is bothering her. She could be grumpy from being hungry and just not know it.
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