People need to mind their own business!!

Sliptak · May 2014

So I know we talk about this quite often but today just pissed me off. I went to my nephew's baptism and it was lovely. Well then my grandmother in law said, "So I'm guessing you don't have any good news for me yet?" I was confused so I started telling her about my good week at work and she said, "that's nice but you're not pregnant yet?" OK whatever I gave her a pass because she's super old so I just smiled and said not yet.
Well THEN my nephew's mom's dad...think about that for a minute (she and my brother in law are not together). So basically a random guy asked me if DH and I were gonna start trying soon.
Honestly I just wanted to tell him to fuck off and remind him he was asking when my husband and I were gonna be humping which makes him a pervy old man but I just shrugged and walked away.
Ugh insensitive/nosy ass people just grind my gears.

Edit: grammar

amylee545 · May 2014

Yeah I hear you. I can usually just shrug it off and tell people "I don't know, we're warming up to the idea" or "Sooner or later!". But lately, every picture I post on facebook of my 1 year old niece, this one coworker of mine keeps commenting on all of them saying stuff like "When are you guys having one????". and yesterday I got a "Like I've said before, you guys need to have one of these!!!" I've been ignoring her, but I think it's time I say something to shut her up.

People are so rude and so annoying.

hydrangea1019 · May 2014

For me, it's one thing if I've known the person for a while and they ask about having children. It's another if it's a complete stranger I just met (most recently, a new hair stylist).

My husband thinks I'm crazy, but I just find it rude.

Sliptak · May 2014

@CForman719‌ that's exactly how I feel. That's why my gma in law wasn't a big deal even though she said it in a kinda harsh way.
Eta:
@WhoCanItBeNow‌ everyone has different pet peeves/levels of sensitivity. You're lucky it doesn't bother you because that question is so common

Jellyfish42 · May 2014

I get asked mostly from my MIL, but thats to be expected. The most weird interaction came to me just last week, when a woman I *kinda* work with (meaning we work for the same company, but I work in the office, and she works in the cafeteria) came up to me and asked how long I'd been married, with an odd excited look on her face. I said it would be 3 years in October, and she asked when we were having a kid. I told her maybe one day, like I tell anyone who asks. Her face fell, and without another word, she walked away. Lol! I barely know this woman, and she's disappointed with my answer?!

I find most inquiries on the state of my uterus, or near future plans for said uterus, funny. Annoying, sometimes, when I am having a bad 3T day, or CD1 is here, but funny nonetheless. I answer the same everytime, "Maybe someday." Except when MIL asks if I AM CURRENTLY knocked up, and I assure her we would tell her if I was. (I wonder what would happen if I didn't tell her, and just made her wonder...Lol! She'd ask me, and I'd say, "Matter o' fact, I am." I amuse myself.)

lizzyp9112 · May 2014

@Sliptak, I totally understand how you feel. DH and I were just talking about this since his family is notorious for having no tact. His sister has 2 kids and the focus is always on them and then when we're going to have a baby. It's a tough balance- yes, they have every right to ask whatever they want to ask, but when you're struggling to conceive those questions can be painful. It's one thing when a person you are close to asks about this, it's another when a random family member you see a few times a year wants to know why you haven't had a baby yet.

I see small talk as about the weather and work and our dogs- not whether I'm KU.

MrsZ1891 · May 2014

oh I defitenly understand! My DD's other grandparents, (my ex's parents) came to visit DD and asked me if DH and I were going to try and have another baby soon. So weird and inappropriate.

hydrangea1019 · May 2014

@lizabethc‌ exactly! Small talk is about weather, sports, anything generic. Small talk does not include my uterus.

lizzyp9112 · May 2014

CForman719 said:

@lizabethc‌ exactly! Small talk is about weather, sports, anything generic. Small talk does not include my uterus.

This is the exact reason why I am dreading our time with DH's family tomorrow night. I had a rough week reconciling our 1 1/2 year journey TTC with Mother's Day this year. I honestly thought I would be pregnant by now and I'm not. Our families know we want kids ASAP (DH is 36 and I'll be 34 this year) so I understand why they ask but it's best when that's done in private.

I was wished a Happy Mothers day a half dozen times yesterday by people I work with. I know they didn't do that to hurt me so I took it in stride as much as I could, The issue is more when someone decides to turn something private into a family discussion in front of a dozen or so people.

mommy2C · May 2014

I rarely ever get asked this. I sometimes get asked status reports from the few people who know we are ttc and that can be annoying at times mostly because I don't have anything worth reporting!

suzysurparis · May 2014

I only get asked by our close friends and families and that's usually pretty tactful, but @fuzzylogic that is hilarious! I almost wish someone would do something that odd to us just for laughs. I've got a few close friends who make comments (sometimes on my FB wall) of the "are you pregnant yet? does your H know which hole to put it in?" But that doesn't bother me since that friend is well known for exaggerated jokes/comments.
I'm cautious with billowy shirts since I dont have a proportionally slim waist and the "how far along are you" comments can be pretty tough. I got asked "when's the baby due?" by someone in my veggie co-op last year and was pretty hurt since I see this woman weekly and hadn't really changed. But I later found out it was because she confused me with another woman who had been having TTTC for awhile and had gotten her BFP (and wasnt quite showing yet). So I let it slide. The other woman ended up with twins

OnceInLoveWithAmy · May 2014

For the most part, it doesn't really bother me when people ask if/when we are having a second.

However, this past week I've had about 5 people I barely even know basically instruct me that I should have a second child now that Hunter is 2 1/2. One was the HR woman at my new office. Lady, I JUST met you today.

I'm probably just extra sensitive to it this week because my period can't decide if it wants to show up or not.

jrcalhoun · May 2014

If my granny asked me "Jr, are you getting dicked deeply enough?".....I would drop the fuck dead.
@CLECyclist‌ is always tickling my funny bone.

chaysefaith · May 2014

Not to derail the thread, but when I was in high school my grandma asked me if my bf was good in bed...then proceeded to tell both of us that she knew she was good in bed. 8-}

barely · May 2014

I think it's rude and tactless to ask somebody if they are trying. It's none of anyone's business, IMO. Unless it's someone I'm close to, then I wouldn't mind. I guess I have a different stance on it since my loss. Before my loss I didn't care, but some of the same people that asked me if I was trying a long time ago asked about my progress in trying recently (because it was a year ago that they asked me if i was trying and I should totes be prego right now). It was right after my loss and I was totally caught off guard and unsure of how to respond. It's natural for people to wonder, so I get it, but some people don't understand that the subject can be hurtful. It is what it is.

namara5532 · May 2014

This is exactly why I haven't told people we're officially trying for #2 yet. If they ask, I say we're still talking about it. FIL is too excited for another grandbaby and would be asking me once a week how it's going. Definitely NOT his business!

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