Length of bedtime routine

a_m_brown · May 2014

What's your bedtime routine like and how long would you say it takes from start to finish? We head upstairs for bath between 6:30 and 6:45, and we're lucky if we're out of our daughter's room by 7:30. Our daughter is extremely independent and wants to do everything herself, but often refuses to do it when we ask. If we do it for her, we end up re-doing stuff (brushing teeth, putting lotion on, etc). It seems like there's a tantrum during every step.

We do a quick bath, eventually convince her to lay down for lotion/diaper/PJs after running around a little bit, then read a few books, and put her in her crib. If we're both home, one of us (usually me) reads stories and puts her down, and then the other one comes in for a snuggle before she goes to sleep. She will often whine for one more hug/kiss/snuggle and we usually appease her since she's generally not a snuggly kid so we'll take what we can get.

I get really frustrated with her dawdling since she knows exactly what needs to happen every night. It's such a chore to get her to brush her teeth, lay still for her diaper, etc. I'm sure this is totally normal, but I feel like it's harder than it needs to be. Any tips for making this a less frustrating process?

maryxc1 · May 2014

We do baths every other night so on a bath night about 30 minutes and on an off night 15-20.

We brush teeth, bath, diaper, lotion, jammies, then hang up his towel. He gets in the crib (used to do rocker but he now refuses), I read one story, cover him up, turn out the lights and leave.

He will be two next week and is getting fairly independent but a lot of the stuff he does in parallel to us or does a small portion of the task. For instance, I give him a dab of lotion to rub on while I lotion the rest if him. He gets to pick out his jammies but we put them on.

He sometimes tries to run around after we get done in the bathroom but I pick him up and put him on the floor. Sometimes he screams but I just explain that it is not play time, it is diaper time (or whatever) and keep doing what needs to be done.

a_m_brown · May 2014

Nora is 2 years 3 months and doesn't nap much during the day, so is definitely tired early. On the nights she stays up until 8 or 8:30 because we've been out and about, she doesn't sleep well and wakes up super early. If we wait until she's really tired to start the routine we have even more battles...ugh.

JENandJEH · May 2014

On bath night, maybe 20 minutes? Non bath nights, 10 minutes tops.

Bath (15 minutes to play), lotion, diaper, pajamas, give kisses, brush teeth and into the bed. We don't read stories right before bed (he's never been one to sit still for books, usually ends up in a meltdown because he'd fights to get down and play) because he ends up more wound up. Sometimes he takes 10-15 minutes to chat to himself in the crib before falling asleep but once we put him in the crib, that's it, we don't go back in unless he's screaming like he's in pain. Very rarely does he not go to sleep within 15 minutes.

DiveFrog · May 2014

I'm trying to understand if the length of time it takes is the issue, or the fight your DD is putting up is the REAL issue. DD turns 2 this month and bath night easily takes 45-1hr and non-bath night 30-45min. for our complete routine. Bath nights we head upstairs at 8 and she is in bed 8:45-9. Non bath nights we head up around 8:15-8:30.

Our complete routine includes bath, diaper/Pj's, wash hands/face (non bath nights), read stories, lights out, rock and sing songs, then into her crib. Stories and rocking/singing take at least 15-25minutes. She puts up a decent fight about diaper change and pj's about 30% of the time, but usually we can persuade her by talking about reading/story time and having to get into her PJ's for that to happen.

Anyway, I don't think 30-1hr is really that long if you are including time for playing in a bath and/or reading stories.

ncbelle · May 2014

I don't think that's abnormally long - we do bath time and story time and that together easily takes 45 minutes.

Instead of making it a fight, let her do the things she can do even if it takes a little longer. I know that anytime I get frustrated and engage in a power struggle, things take at least twice as long. I also don't think it's realistic to think that you can be "done" with bedtime in like 15 minutes - kids need that time to connect at the end of the day.

a_m_brown · May 2014

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. The real issue is the battle that occurs nearly every night during nearly every step of the routine. I definitely want to maintain the story/snuggle time and that part generally goes well. My husband and I are just so frustrated with the meltdowns over getting in the tub, brushing teeth, putting on her diaper, etc. I don't expect her to do everything we ask immediately, but I wish we didn't have to spend so much of her evening convincing her to do these routine tasks.

belladonna11307 · May 2014

Are you sure you're not putting my kid to bed?

We have the same situation. We start the routine between 6:30 and 6:45 and she's usually in bed between 7 and 7:30 depending on if it's a bath night, how much she felt like doing herself, and how much a of a fit she chose to throw that night. Some nights she goes right through the routine, no problem. Others, she refuses and throws a fit. Some nights she wants to do everything herself, others, not so much. At this point I'm going with the "it's a phase" point of view

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