August 2014 Moms

Anyone else still terrified?

My friends have said this is normal for a first pregnancy, but I am absolutely terrified of losing the baby. I am 26 weeks now the biggest risk of losing her is over right? Why cant I convince my myself? I have been having nightmares that I go to the doctor and there is no heartbeat. Then I sit here and dwell on the fact that she was moving like crazy yesterday and today its almost noon and I still havent felt her. I guess I just dont know when to be concerned. At this point, would I be able to tell if something was wrong? Sorry I know thats a lot of questions, Im just thinking and ranting.

Re: Anyone else still terrified?

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  • I think it is pretty normal to be nervous through the pregnancy. I have gotten the same way. Last week it was a huge party in my belly, this week not so much. He has moved but not as much, but once he moves, I feel a lot better. I had even convinced myself that the 1 diet coke I was drinking a day had done something, but quickly got that out of my head! I try not to dwell on anything, it can be hard at times, but I feel like it makes things worse.

    I'm a FTM so I don't know about if you could tell if anything is wrong at this point, just hope things get better for you! (Not that anything is wrong, just on the nightmares and all)

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  • I was doing pretty good for awhile but now I'm terrified daily again about all the awful things that could go wrong. I suffered a MMC last year and was a basket case at the beginning of this pregnancy and I'm almost back to that point again. It puts me in a bad mood too. I've been pissy all day today. :/
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    Mirena removed 11/10/11. BFP 02/20/13 - MMC discovered 4/17/13 @ 11w4d. 
    BFP 12/14/13, EDD 8/21/14.It's a BOY! DS born 8/15/14.

  • chase16chase16 member

    I don't know if statistics help you, but they do me.. and I've read that the chances of losing your baby after the first trimester are VERY low (like under 1%). Just try to keep in mind that if your doctor has told you at every appt that your baby is healthy and is doing well, baby will more than likely continue to do well.

  • I do think that it is normal, but when I do start thinking like that I try and push it out of my head because I don't want to dwell on the what ifs.  And honestly I am not sure that the worry ever really goes away.  Once baby is born there are other issues like SIDS.  I am sure that saying that is not helpful, but at the same time it is a reminder to me that living in fear forever does no one any good.  Hope that makes some sense :)


  • At least once a day I worry about the baby doing all right in there.  If I'm running around a lot I don't notice a lot of movement, then I get worried.  By evening the baby is usually kicking around like crazy.

    Once the baby is born you'll be constantly looking to make sure he/she is breathing.  I don't have teenagers yet, but I can just imagine that the worries never go away, they just change.  I don't even want to think about my boys driving yet!

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    son#1 born 6/2010

    son#2 born 4/2012

    son#3 born 7/2014

  • TMI, but: I had a particularly difficult poop yesterday, and was worried the entire time that I was going to poop the baby out and flush her down the toilet.


    A totally irrational fear, I know, but I feel your pain.

    I had that fear the other day too! I was sitting there thinking what if I push the baby out, then thought no thats ridiculous! Glad to know Im not the only irrational one!
  • I still get nervous when I don't feel movement, but happy I can now feel peanut move as more of a reassurance everything is ok. I am now terrified of the whole birth process!
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  • abirdd9abirdd9 member
    Very normal to feel this way. My favorite pregnancy mantra is: Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

    You could also try to employ some meditation or deep breathing exercises to calm your nerves a bit. Talk to your baby, tell her your fears and tell her how much you love her and can't wait to meet her when the time is right.

    If you pray, pray about it. I've found that all these things are helpful :) Hugs, mama.
    ALLI & ERIK - 12.12.10
    Stella - 7.7.11 | Ian - 8.6.14 | Isaac- 7.20.18
    #4 due 4.22.23

  • BeachMBeachM member
    I use the same sort of coping to get through pregnancy fears as I do when DH is deployed.  I ask myself "Can I do anything about this?  Can I control it?" and the answer for the majority of my fears is no.  So there are 2 choices - dwell on it and make it a terrible experience or let it go and enjoy what you can.  If I need to have a freakout, I'll do it and then always move on to the latter of the choices.
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  • jlang12jlang12 member
    FTM and also constantly, irrationally worried.  I even looked into getting a fetal heartbeat monitor.  The only thing that stopped me is that my mom can't sleep at night because she is always worrying about things I think are insignificant, so I'm trying not to turn into my mom.
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  • I'm scared something will happen now, but I can usually drink or eat something, and LO will usually kick or move. I'm starting to get more scared of the birthing process.

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  • Thank you everyone for your great comments, you did make me feel better! Also glad to know Im not the only one still feeling this way!
  • chase16 said:

    I don't know if statistics help you, but they do me.. and I've read that the chances of losing your baby after the first trimester are VERY low (like under 1%). Just try to keep in mind that if your doctor has told you at every appt that your baby is healthy and is doing well, baby will more than likely continue to do well.

    I agree with chase16. Know your facts and listen to your doctor. When I get worried about something I normally ask around in the family to see if anyone else had the same experience and that normally helps me out.

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  • Hi.. I'm this way too.. It's hard for me to just trust that everything will be ok since it hasn't been the case in the past.. All we can do is take the best care possible and hope for the best.. It is very scary though, to think of a late term loss.. I think I'm scarred for life from my previous loses and I just want this weeks to go by quickly so I can have my babies in my arms and maybe start relaxing.. I hope you manage to be less stressed as weeks go by.. Wishing you all the best for the rest of these pg..
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