Overreacting?

Sgriff1 · May 2014

Alright, this seems really petty to me, yet it's bugging me and I have to know if I'm being ridiculous.

My MIL watched LO for an hour while I ran to a dentist appt yesterday. LO slept the whole time, which was great. Today when LO is napping, I dig out the clippers to clip her finger/toenails. I pulled her foot out of her sleeper to see that MIL completely clipped LO toenails down yesterday. It looks like she did a good job, but I'm irritated that she did it without telling me. I also feel like she's stepping on my toes like she thinks I'm not capable of doing it. What's the verdict here? Do I need to relax?

growingmybun · May 2014

Yes, you need to relax. She was helping you. Hug her.

joshsmandy · May 2014

To be honest I would probably be irritated to but it sounds like she was bored and saw an opportunity to help help with something. At least she did a good job on them

peanutmuse · May 2014

You definitely need to relax.

@esd and @lena122, remember what I said in the UO thread yesterday about FTMs vs. STMs? I can certainly understand your points of view when I read things like this!

Sgriff1 · May 2014

I know, I know. I feel like it's so stupid. I also think it's the weird relationship I have with my MIL too. Thanks for being honest with me ladies!

peanutmuse · May 2014

I understand having a weird relationship with your MIL and having that make you a bit crazy about things like that. No worries.

Sgriff1 · May 2014

At least I have a sounding board to talk me down! This week has been rough and I think that little thing just topped it off. She refused to give me the baby when she was screaming ...which she never does, instead insisted that she needs to CIO (I almost blew a gasket!). Also when running a bath for LO, I told her I thought she was getting a cold (she was) and I thought the bath would help...she ignored me and walked away with the baby saying it was just from the dry hotel air. Then to top it all off she woke LO up while I was in the shower knowing it was time for her to nurse and when I came out to her screaming to nurse her...she again walked away and took her to another room while trying to shove the paci in her mouth. Agh! So I'll let the nail clipping go

TheBorg7of9 · May 2014

I understand you. It's not just one thing. It's a compilation of a lot of little things that overstep.

CopperT0p · May 2014

Nail clipping is NBD in my opinion unless she had done a bad job (like clearly caught the skin). A little weird, but I wouldn't even find it worth bringing up with her.

Things like walking away with my child when I want them or when they need me is something I put my foot down on. With DS1 there were a couple times early on that I had to say "give me back my son now!" in a stern voice. My husband then reamed her out, explaining that she isn't his mother and she needs to respect our abilities to parent our child the way we want.

Since then she has been pretty good. Especially now that DS1 is a much better behaved child than the 3 other grandchildren of hers that she did daycare for. I think she now sees that we know what we're doing and we didn't "ruin" him like she thought we might.

RedSaffron · May 2014

I can understand how you feel. MIL did the exact same thing by clipping DD's nails on her own accord when I went out on an errand. But, this was when DD was two weeks old and I had baby blues so whatever my MIL did to DD, I freaked out. Now, my baby blues went away and its NBD to me what she does. I'm happy MIL cuts them, its one less thing I have to do. Heh.

MJamison1020 · May 2014

Honestly, because of the volatile relationship I have with my MIL I probably would have been bothered too. Anyone else? No big deal. But because of past history I really do understand why you felt weird. Probably not worth bringing up and starting an issue but just wanted to share that "I feel you"

Lena122 · May 2014

Not a big that she clipped DD's nails but I would be a little off put by the fact that she didn't mention it. But I like to know everything MIL does with/to DD because she tends to over feed her and is horrible at getting her to sleep. So I just like to know everything that goes down when they're together.

My mom has clipped both of my kids' nails and I've had no issues with that.

sugarland726 · May 2014

Sgriff1 said:

At least I have a sounding board to talk me down! This week has been rough and I think that little thing just topped it off. She refused to give me the baby when she was screaming ...which she never does, instead insisted that she needs to CIO (I almost blew a gasket!). Also when running a bath for LO, I told her I thought she was getting a cold (she was) and I thought the bath would help...she ignored me and walked away with the baby saying it was just from the dry hotel air. Then to top it all off she woke LO up while I was in the shower knowing it was time for her to nurse and when I came out to her screaming to nurse her...she again walked away and took her to another room while trying to shove the paci in her mouth. Agh! So I'll let the nail clipping go

You are definitely overreacting about the nails, although with this other information I can see why you would be feeling that way since she doesn't appear to have boundaries.

kiki1978 · May 2014

I would chill out about it. I wish someone would trim my LO's nails so I wouldn't have to do it.

amt0312 · May 2014

They are toenails, its not like she was performing surgery.

karah4816 · May 2014

The toenails are nbd although I have a weird relationship with my mil and would probably be annoyed too, I just wouldn't tell her I was annoyed. The rest is ridiculous, you or your husband need to let her know that her behavior is not ok. You are that child's mother, not her. If someone kept my babies from me they would not be allowed to hold them again until they understand that they WILL give them back when I ask.