February 2013 Moms

name dilemma

Hey ladies, 

I am (as my title says) having a small name dilemma. It is coming down to middle names, and it's more of an internal dilemma than one between DH and I. He really likes the mn Jack. We each agreed to pick one family name and then our LOs each have two middle names, one from each family. So with DS, he got named B. George William. With this LO, when my DH brought up Jack, my first thought is "I love Jack", followed by "that was also my grandfather's name" (on my mother's side), followed by "the one who was abusive to her". Physically, emotionally... and even sexually. He's passed on. And my mom has had closure with him. As he was dying from cancer, I believe he called her and told her how sorry he was and I believe they made some sort of amends. But I still worry about what it will mean to my mom if we use Jack as a middle name for this LO if baby is a boy. Would you just negate the name altogether if you were in my shoes? Again, I do love Jack... for a name. But I worry about what that will represent to my mom. I know I could have an open dialogue with her about it, but I wanted to bring it up here first. As I type, I just feel horrible for even contemplating it. And don't get me wrong, my DH totally gets it. He's not pushing Jack on me in any sense. But please let me know what you would do in my shoes. 
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Re: name dilemma

  • i wouldnt use it. to me , it would always have the negative conotation .
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  • Agree with others - I wouldn't use it

          DS1: Quinn - 10.22.10 and DS2: Cole - 01.18.13

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  • tdmd09tdmd09 member
    I wouldn't use it, especially since you guys would be using it BECAUSE it's a family name.
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  • I love the name jack. My favorite icon is named Jack (O'Neill from Stargate). But... DD's sperm donor was also named Jack. He was way on the other side of BSC, and abusive. I've never been able to bring myself to use it. :(
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    Lilypie - (PaHE) Lilypie - (4noI)

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  • Thank you! It's gives me peace of mind just to let it go. 
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  • While I think you would all get over it (not think of him but think of your son instead) when you hear it eventually, I wouldn't use it. I don't think.. But if you love it and don't love any others, then go for it.
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