Formula Feeding?

legaleagles · May 2014

I had my boys last Tuesday. I had fully intended to BF exclusively. They each lost a lot of weight 13 and 14% of their birth weight. Neither are back to their birth weight and Baby A is still more than a pound away - he's just not gaining. I've been pumping exclusively for the last 3 days because I could no longer handle the pain of my raw, cracked, bleeding nipples. I had a lot of difficulty with DD, but we persevered and made it to 21 months. This time around, though, it's not really an option. There are two of them, no break for either nipple, and I have a 2.5 year old who needs my love and attention as well.

So I'm dropping my pumping sessions and planning to formula feed. My heart is extremely heavy with this decision and I've cried over it for days, but I think in my mind (despite having such a heavy heart) it is what is best for my family.

But, I don't know how to formula feed - I fed DD on demand. How much do I give them? same as the amount of pumped milk? Do I give them formula every 3 hours? I know this is dumb, but I don't know how to figure it out. Any tips/assistance?

24karat · May 2014

I'm sorry you're having so much difficulty with this, please don't beat yourself up over it or feel guilty (easier said than done, I know). We had a similar experience with my boys. My milk didn't come in till several days post c/s and one of them had a very hard time learning to latch and had a weak suckling reflex. They lost well over 10% of their birth weight (they didn't regain it for about 10 days) so we started with formula and still supplement now at 9 months.

We started feeding on demand with an ounce or so. I can't remember the exact amounts since it was such a haze at the time. Let them guide you. Their stomachs are really small so they won't take too much to begin with and they'll get hungry very quickly. In that sense it really isn't much different than BF. You may need to experiment with a few different bottle types to find one that has a slow enough flow for your babies. Mine had a hard time with that at first.

A few other MoMs have mentioned in the past that you can call the formula companies and request a twins package. They'll send you several samples then some coupons on a regular basis. Good luck with everything and remember that you've made the decision that you believe is best for you and your family. Don't let anyone (including yourself) make you feel bad about it. >:D<

ETA: About on demand...I forgot to add that if they go more than a couple hours without waking to eat you should wake them to have them eat a little, at least till they've regained some weight.

zazu13 · May 2014

@legaleagles - i am so sorry for your diappointment with BF. I agonized over stopping, too and cried for days. I lasted 6 weeks pumping and supplementing but could never make it work. My girls took the same amount whether breast milk or formula. They came home from the hospital eating anout 1-1.5 oz every 3 hours then up to 2-4 ounces. Now they are leaning toward dropping a feed or 2 and sometimes take slightly more and my bigger twin has had as much as 6 oz during a growth spurt. They are fraternal girls, but must have very different metabolisms because one needs much more than the other. My dr said to just feed on demand now that they are gaining well. It usually is every 3 hours, but sometimes 4-5 (overnight) or as short as 2 hours (first thing in the morning and before bed.) i usually made bottles with double the amount I thought they would eat then refrigerated the left over for the next feed. Sometimes they dont take it all so I dump the rest (ugh $ down the drain) or they are still hungry so I mix up 1-2 more oz to top them off. They dont always eat the same amount at each feed so its sometimes a pain.
Good luck and congrats on your boys. They will be happy and healthy on formula . I hope you are happier now, too.

Jenn06L80 · May 2014

I too understand the disappointment with BF. I BF DD1 for 13 months and it was a great experience. This time my girls were 4 weeks early, small, and in the nicu for 2 weeks. BF was difficult for them so I pumped. I do make some milk but I also supplement with formula.

My girls are 5 weeks now. They get two bottles of neosure - 3 oz in each bottle twice a day.

I feel chained to the pump and feel like I am neglecting my 3.5 year old. All I do is pump, bottle feed, wash pump parts/bottles all day long. So I am slowly cutting down on pump sessions - currently I pump 6 times a day.

I would offer the formula every 3 hours until they are gaining weight. Then more on demand. With our girls we first started with 1-1.5 oz and now they are up to 3 oz. one thing that really helps me is the dr browns formula pitcher. I make 10-12 oz in the morning and use it all day. This way I can make a small bottle and if the girls seem to want more I just pour a little from the pitcher into their bottle. Good luck!

pillowass · May 2014

There's good advice from pp's but I thought I'd share a few resources that I found really helpful when I was struggling.

There is a book by Ellen Sattyr called "Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense" that has a great judgement-free chapter on FF, including basic instructions and guidance on how much/how often.

The Fearless Formula Feeder has a website/blog and a FB page with tons of resources and moral support. She also wrote a book which was wonderful and really opened my eyes to the many reasons women don't or can't BF. "Bottled Up: How the Way We Feed Babies Has Come to Define Motherhood, and Why it Shouldn't"

When my first son was about 4 months old I read this article in the Atlantic that made me feel so much better about FF. It talks about the gulf between science and popular media on the actual benefits of breastfeeding.

I've come full circle on this issue and while I think breastfeeding is awesome if you want to and can, it should not happen at the expense of your health or sanity, and especially not at the expense of your babies well-being! You are making a difficult, wise decision. Good luck!

lynnyrd80 · May 2014

This is one thing I'm dreading when my twins get here. I had such a hard time with breastfeeding with my son. I made it to just after 4 months where I was having to breastfeed, then supplement, then pump every time I fed him. I know that I just can't do that with twins and a two year old, so I'm trying to set my expectations low.

I had so much guilt about stopping that I just cried and cried about it and held out until he started fighting me at the breast. I will tell you that once I just made the decision and stopped it was a lot easier to let go than I thought it would be when I was still fighting the battle.

kbeach82 · May 2014

IMHO, there is absolutely nothing wrong with FF. Neither my singleton nor my twins were ever FF for various reasons. I have difficulty putting myself in your shoes having not experienced BFing my children, but I really hope you can get past the feelings of guilt you are experiencing quickly. You need to do what is best for you, your babies and the rest of your family.

Having said that, we were fortunate as both of my twins only lost 4% or less of their birth weight while we were in the hospital (perhaps thanks to FF), but they were still pretty tiny. They were eating 1-2 oz of formula every 2-3 hours when we brought them home from the hospital, including overnight feedings. Our pedi didn't want them to go more than 3 hours without eating at that point and I imagine that should be the case for your LOs as well. Good luck to you!

4legsRbest · May 2014

I don't have any advice on FF, but wanted to send you (((hugs))) and tell you that you have done an amazing job. Focus on your babies and just let go of the things that are out of your control.

legaleagles · May 2014

Thank you ladies! Thank you all so much for the advice and encouragement. this is such a difficult decision, but what i know is best for every member of my family although it doesn't make it an easier choice.

Thanks for all the resources and tips. They've gotten some similac advanced in the hospital before my milk came in and seemed to tolerate it well so I assume we just stick with that for now unless we notice some problems with it.

I think I'll still plan to pump once or twice a day (probably in the evening and morning) while I have the hospital grade pump covered by my insurance (which is for 2 or 3 months), but my family and I need me present and I can't bond with my boys or continue being there for my daughter the way things are now.

Again, thank you for the support and kindness.

badbridey · May 2014

Before you give up completely on Bfing, maybe you can try to supplement an oz or two of formula after each feed. I was in almost the exact situation as you in the beginning. Both babies had lost 13% of their weight, and so we started giving them 1-2 oz after every feeding and they started gaining immediately. They were back up to birth weight within two weeks and their jaundice went away as they began to gain weight.

When we supplemented they also went longer between feeds which allowed me to spend time with my 2 year old, and hold on to my sanity. We continued to supplement for a couple of months, but now that I'm back at work I'm pumping more than enough for them daily and they won't even take formula anymore. I kinda wish they would still take the formula so that I can build up a bigger freezer stash, but they just aren't having it.

As for the cracked nipples, you could try a nipple shield (although that can affect how much supply the babies get), or you can try these soothing gel pads https://www.amazon.com/Lansinoh-Soothies-Gel-Pads-Count/dp/B002KGHUL4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399658511&sr=8-1&keywords=lansinoh+gel+pads You can throw them in the fridge and they work really well.

GL!

badbridey · May 2014

Oh also, when we asked our pedi how much to supplement after a feed, he said that as long as they aren't spitting up, then we're not giving them them too much. Just for reference your baby's stomach holds 1/2 the amount of their weight (but in oz). So if your baby weighs 8 lbs, then their stomach roughly holds 4 oz.

basil2 · May 2014

It sounds like you've had a rough time of it, and had to make a difficult decision. Whatever you decide, don't feel guilty!

I do wonder though- does it have to be all or none? Did you enjoy breastfeeding your daughter (once you got past the struggles), or was it always a struggle? If it's something you want to do- what about using the formula to get their weights up, and get yourself past the stress and worry- but pumping enough to keep your supply so you have a little more time to think about it? Have you consulted a lactation consultant (it's often covered by insurance and they'll often come to your home)? Do whatever you need to do to make your babies healthy and get yourself feeling better, but you could consider keeping your options open for a little while longer.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do!!

katiebenes · May 2014

we ff from the start. they started with 1 oz offered at a time and when they consitantly wanted more, we added more.
Don't be afraid of store brands either. If you don't need to be on a certain one for WIC or because the doctor says, go for the cheaper brand. my boys are doing great and drink mainly parent's choice.

katiebenes · May 2014

and also once the stress dies down if you still want to bf look up relactation

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