Dad giving a bottle

LittleMonkey1 · May 2014

So I am pregnant and trying to figure out how we want to feed. If its possible I would definitely like to breastfeed. But I want my husband to be able to have bonding time with the baby as well and be able to do a feeding. I would think a bottle before bed would be the best time. Would it be alright for him to feed a formula bottle before bed instead of me pumping? In theory this sounds a lot easier and if my body isn't used to producing milk at that time, I shouldn't have to pump and replace the feeding?

Not sure how feasible this is, so would love everyone's opinions:)

flcl · May 2014

Sing2phins said:

Why wouldn't you just pump once a day so he can give a bottle of pumped milk?

If you go this route, it is not recommended to introduce a bottle before about 3 weeks, so your body is already going to be used to producing milk at that time anyway.

There are lots of ways for dads to bond with their babies besides feeding them.

This. If you wait a few weeks, that'll help with nipple confusion. Your body will adjust, it's pretty amazing. Plus, PP's right about bonding time. As crazy as it sounds, diaper changes is a great time for dads to bond with LOs. After the first two weeks, my DH really stepped up and took on diaper changes whenever he was home. It wasn't easy because LO hated diaper changes at first. After a few weeks, he started really liking them and would interact with DH during changes. In fact, DH got one of LOs first smiles during a diaper change. GL with your pregnancy!

VickyTGAW · May 2014

Adding on to what the PPs mentioned, the composition of breast milk does vary throughout the day and it tends to be higher in tryptophan at night, which helps baby sleep (Related study from NIH - The circadian rhythm of tryptophan in breast milk affects the rhythms of 6-sulfatoxymelatonin and sleep in newborn). Like @casey78 said, there is no shame in supplementing.... but right before bed might be a time to capitalize on breast milk. : )

VickyTGAW · May 2014

And just a couple more ideas to go with "Bathtime" and "Diaper Changes" on how Dads can bond with a newborn.

Skin to Skin
Dads can do skin to skin time too! This was particularly helpful when my first son was born early. (This shot they were also outside getting some sunlight to help break down bilirubin)

Baby Wearing
My husband taught *me* how to use our MobyWrap. We both have been heavy MobyWrap users with our sons. My husband is particularly fond of carrying the little ones during our Family Walks or Family Hikes.

Camping at Prince William Forest Park - Carter's Pond - Dyson and Ryan at Pond

Burping
Dude. My husband is a much better baby burper than I. I can practice the rest of my life I will never achieve his level of success. A lasting testament-- my oldest son is nearly three years old. If he has a belly ache or gas, his preferred method of comfort is to lay on Daddy's chest and have his back patted.

And of course, then the babies get older, then the skies the limit with playtime and bike rides, etc.

TheBorg7of9 · May 2014

I totally agree with all the other ways baby can bond with daddy.

If you are going back to work or otherwise want your baby to take a bottle, you should eventually practice with bottles on a regular basis. But it's really a PITA because you have to pump around the same time that he is getting the bottle. Your body adjusts to a certain schedule and if you suddenly stop breastfeeding at the time that the baby is eating, then your body will stop making the milk for that feeding. And in the meantime, if you are delayed from pumping, you will get engorged and that hurts!

I would really work on establishing good breastfeeding first and then worry about bottles if you want to use them.

babymama619 · May 2014

Here's the thing, Bfing is a complete mind-f%ck! You are constantly worried about supply and time and input and output and a million other things. If you and YH decide BFing is the way to go then stay away from the formula. BFing works on a supply and demand schedule. If you give a bottle you need to pump to tell your body you need that milk. But in the early days you can easily trigger oversupply which is no fun, seriously!

Ideally you should not pump for at least 3-4 weeks until your supply is established. Ideally baby won't use a bottle for 4 weeks to make sure they don't prefer bottle to breast. Remember, BFing is hard work for a tiny baby! Also, there are 2-3 different growth spurts during that time where baby trains your body to produce the right amount of milk. It is also hard work for you to learn an entirely new skill. I might suggest that YH focus on meeting your every need while you BF since you're doing triple duty, recovering, nursing, moming.

Take a BFing class with YH and they will talk about dad's importance in the process. I hear this exact thing from women quite often and for some reason it is strange to me. Yes, baby eats frequently, but that isn't "bonding time" necessarily. I was barely conscious for most of it! It certainly isn't the only bonding time either. Diapering, rocking, cuddling, there are all amazing bonding experiences. being near the baby is what bonds people, not only feeding them.

If you decide you truly want to BF you and YH both need to commit the the endeavor and do everything you can to establish a good solid foundation before anyone else feeds baby.

HopingforChange · May 2014

This opinion may not be welcome, but I did partial formula feeding from day 1. BF most of the time and giving one bottle in the AM and one in the PM. My body (and DD's) figured it out--no problems. DH loves feeding DD, and I do think it's important.

LittleMonkey1 · May 2014

Thank you all for the opinions, it looks like the best option would be to pump and have my DH feed that for a bottle once little one is a few weeks old. I know there will be lots of options for him to bond with the baby but I want him to be able to do a feeding here and there if we can

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