Secondary IF

Negative HPT 14dpo

 I am pretty much over the sad part, I'm angry. WTF body? Why can't I get pregnant? Why do people like us who want a child or more children so badly, have to go through this kind of pain and disappointment? Why do people who CLEARLY don't need children have a freaking litter of them? Why? Why do I have to screw on a smile about this over the weekend because of all freaking weekends it's Mothers day & my birthday and no one knows we are even trying? Wh do I have to not tell anyone we are trying because I don't want to hear things like "just relax" "don't stress" "there's nothing wrong with you" "people get pregnant every day without medicine, you don't need that". Why do I have to now go to RE and miss work all the time for a million vaginal ultrasounds, shots, pills, and make me more emotional/hormonal than I already am, and lie to my boss because she is a one and done, and thinks people are crazy and selfish to have more than one child? Why do I have to keep hearing pregnancy announcements on facebook, and get stupid freaking baby shower invitations ALL THE TIME? Why when you so desperately want another child, everyone around you seems pregnant? At this point I can barely even fake being happy for you, and I hate that- I don't want to be this bitter person, I want to legitimately be happy for you. WHY?

Sorry, rant over...

Re: Negative HPT 14dpo

  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Loading the player...
  • I am so sorry. It is so damn hard. <3
    TTC #1 June 2010
    1/3/11 S/A - Count 45; Motility 32; Morph 4.3 - 2/10/11 - S/A Count 17mil; Motility 39; Morph 7.9
    1/5/11 Femara Cycle #1 = BFN  2/4/11 Femara Cycle #2 = BFP: 3/4/11 - Starting Progesterone suppositories 
    Beta#1 15DPO = 108; Beta#2 17DPO = 179; Beta#3 18DPO = 259; Beta 4# 20DPO =659!!
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    TTC#2 Pulled goalie 5/12, PPAF 3/13, BFP 6/27 Beta 15DPO=248! 
    Dx Severe Hydrocephalus and severe Dandy Walker Cyst.   Stillborn 10/19/13
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    TTC#3 - (No preventing, TTC+progesterone starting 12/13)
    4/7/14 CD3 BW - FSH 5.6; AMH 0.469 - 4/11/14 S/A Count 35, Motility 47, Morph 1.5
    4/16/14 - Cycle 6 - Natural IUI - Beta 12DPIUI = 3; Beta 13DPIUI=4.  15DPIUI=6. 17DPIU=4. Chemical Pregnancy  
    TTC #4
    5/5/14 Dx MTHFR homozygous A1298C, Benched 1 cycle HSG 5/14 both tubes open w/scarring on the left   
    5/28/14 Starting clomid 6/8/14 IUI #2 1 dominant follicle 31mm Beta 11DPIUI =4, 15DPIUI = 74, 17DPIUI = 165 
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Maternity tickers
  • I am sorry about you BFN :( I know nothing is going to make it really feel any better.... but, Happy Birthday (this weekend) 

    imageimage
    image
    image


    BabyFruit Ticker 

  • Jodee37Jodee37 member
    i could have written that myself.  i just want to wrap you up and hug you. i'm so sorry you are out this cycle. i am so sorry that any of us have to deal with this shit. i have yet to find any reason why good people who WANT kids who have the means to provide are not able to have kids but the unemployed FH on welfare keeps having them "because the government will pay for them." i actually had a pt tell me that.

    and the people who make those insensitive comments... they can fuck off.

    big hugs.
    Me: 36, DH: 36
    DH's SA = normal
    1 tube only wonder
    AFC 3-5, AMH 0.30

    BFP #1 3/29/11.  EDD 12/4/11... Missed m/c 5/9/11. Cytotec fail. D&C 5/17/11.
    BFP #2   7/5/11.  EDD 3/14/12... Our rainbow Kellen born 3/14/12 via c/s.
    BFP #3 5/30/13.  EDD 2/8/14...  6wk u/s HB 126. 8wk u/s lost HB. D&C 7/12/13.
    BFP #4 2/18/14.  EDD 10/30/14... Ruptured ectopic with L tube removed & D&C 3/7/14.
    BFP #5 7/27/14.  EDD 4/9/15...  m/c @ 5w4d.

    IVF #1    Oct 2014 - antagonist protocol: 9R, 7M, 5F. 3dt of 3 Grade 2 embies. BFN. 
    IVF #2    Jan 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.  Converted to IUI #1. BFFN
    IVF #2.1 March 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.

    BFP #6  (SUPRISE!) 3/19/15.  EDD 11/30/15...  CP at 4w2d.
    IUI #2:    Clomid + Follistim = 3 follies. BFN.
    IVF #2.2 May 2015 - horrible response to micro lupron flare protocol: 3R, 3M, 3F. 3dt of 2 Grade 3 embies. BFFN. 

    BFP #7 (beyond surprised again!) 4/26/16. EDD 1/5/17. beautiful betas!!!! and then near-fatal hemorrhagic corpus luteum. turns out baby was ectopic after all; another lap 5/6 (@24dpo).

    the universe can fuck off.


     "You are overly paranoid and delusional that every one is out to get you." -lastsliverofhope

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    all AL welcome. TTC #2 for 43 44 months.
    follow my infertility journey here at timestandsstillblog.com

  • Jodee37 said:
    i could have written that myself.  i just want to wrap you up and hug you. i'm so sorry you are out this cycle. i am so sorry that any of us have to deal with this shit. i have yet to find any reason why good people who WANT kids who have the means to provide are not able to have kids but the unemployed FH on welfare keeps having them "because the government will pay for them." i actually had a pt tell me that.

    and the people who make those insensitive comments... they can fuck off.

    big hugs.
    THIS!

    I'm with you, I got my BFN yesterday and am feeling like shit.  Can we all have a virtual happy hour at 5:00pm?



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14

    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


  • Jodee37Jodee37 member
    i'd be drinking already if i wasn't working tonight. (it's always 5 o'clock somewhere...)
    Me: 36, DH: 36
    DH's SA = normal
    1 tube only wonder
    AFC 3-5, AMH 0.30

    BFP #1 3/29/11.  EDD 12/4/11... Missed m/c 5/9/11. Cytotec fail. D&C 5/17/11.
    BFP #2   7/5/11.  EDD 3/14/12... Our rainbow Kellen born 3/14/12 via c/s.
    BFP #3 5/30/13.  EDD 2/8/14...  6wk u/s HB 126. 8wk u/s lost HB. D&C 7/12/13.
    BFP #4 2/18/14.  EDD 10/30/14... Ruptured ectopic with L tube removed & D&C 3/7/14.
    BFP #5 7/27/14.  EDD 4/9/15...  m/c @ 5w4d.

    IVF #1    Oct 2014 - antagonist protocol: 9R, 7M, 5F. 3dt of 3 Grade 2 embies. BFN. 
    IVF #2    Jan 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.  Converted to IUI #1. BFFN
    IVF #2.1 March 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.

    BFP #6  (SUPRISE!) 3/19/15.  EDD 11/30/15...  CP at 4w2d.
    IUI #2:    Clomid + Follistim = 3 follies. BFN.
    IVF #2.2 May 2015 - horrible response to micro lupron flare protocol: 3R, 3M, 3F. 3dt of 2 Grade 3 embies. BFFN. 

    BFP #7 (beyond surprised again!) 4/26/16. EDD 1/5/17. beautiful betas!!!! and then near-fatal hemorrhagic corpus luteum. turns out baby was ectopic after all; another lap 5/6 (@24dpo).

    the universe can fuck off.


     "You are overly paranoid and delusional that every one is out to get you." -lastsliverofhope

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    all AL welcome. TTC #2 for 43 44 months.
    follow my infertility journey here at timestandsstillblog.com

  • Thanks everyone- drinks on me @ 5...
  • I'm getting it started now. I plan not to remember this weekend and then swear off alcohol afterward, got a nice red wine opens and shots all the eff around!!!image
    January 2007- Stop BCP! Let's DO this!
    June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS. image

    November 2010- FAILED FET! BS!
    January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS!
    February 2011- lost twin. BS. image

    SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world!

    November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs)
    April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs.
    FROZEN CYCLE JUNE! BFP
    BABY BOY VINCENT!
    image

    We can't wait to meet you!
    Conception:image
    imageimage Potato Love!

    BabyFruit Ticker


  • edited May 2014
    This is my current love...nice and chilled...

    image



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14

    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


  • It's supposed to be a picture of Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc...



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14

    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


  • iheartsippycups Are you sure you're not me? Because I'm pretty sure I just said this word for word yesterday to my husband. I got my official BFN yesterday too (although I pretty much knew for certain it was coming this cycle.) Big hugs to you, and I'm in for happy hour.

    image

    PS. Do you think we could get Betty White? I'm not sure why but she seems like she might be helpful in this situation.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    TTC #2 since 1/1/13

    image    imageimage
  • Jodee37Jodee37 member
    Betty would totally hold your hair back while you puke. we need her.
    Me: 36, DH: 36
    DH's SA = normal
    1 tube only wonder
    AFC 3-5, AMH 0.30

    BFP #1 3/29/11.  EDD 12/4/11... Missed m/c 5/9/11. Cytotec fail. D&C 5/17/11.
    BFP #2   7/5/11.  EDD 3/14/12... Our rainbow Kellen born 3/14/12 via c/s.
    BFP #3 5/30/13.  EDD 2/8/14...  6wk u/s HB 126. 8wk u/s lost HB. D&C 7/12/13.
    BFP #4 2/18/14.  EDD 10/30/14... Ruptured ectopic with L tube removed & D&C 3/7/14.
    BFP #5 7/27/14.  EDD 4/9/15...  m/c @ 5w4d.

    IVF #1    Oct 2014 - antagonist protocol: 9R, 7M, 5F. 3dt of 3 Grade 2 embies. BFN. 
    IVF #2    Jan 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.  Converted to IUI #1. BFFN
    IVF #2.1 March 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.

    BFP #6  (SUPRISE!) 3/19/15.  EDD 11/30/15...  CP at 4w2d.
    IUI #2:    Clomid + Follistim = 3 follies. BFN.
    IVF #2.2 May 2015 - horrible response to micro lupron flare protocol: 3R, 3M, 3F. 3dt of 2 Grade 3 embies. BFFN. 

    BFP #7 (beyond surprised again!) 4/26/16. EDD 1/5/17. beautiful betas!!!! and then near-fatal hemorrhagic corpus luteum. turns out baby was ectopic after all; another lap 5/6 (@24dpo).

    the universe can fuck off.


     "You are overly paranoid and delusional that every one is out to get you." -lastsliverofhope

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    all AL welcome. TTC #2 for 43 44 months.
    follow my infertility journey here at timestandsstillblog.com

  • Just saying, Betty White is good in any situation!
    And you all have got to try this:
    image
    January 2007- Stop BCP! Let's DO this!
    June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS. image

    November 2010- FAILED FET! BS!
    January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS!
    February 2011- lost twin. BS. image

    SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world!

    November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs)
    April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs.
    FROZEN CYCLE JUNE! BFP
    BABY BOY VINCENT!
    image

    We can't wait to meet you!
    Conception:image
    imageimage Potato Love!

    BabyFruit Ticker


  • My new summertime OTP
    January 2007- Stop BCP! Let's DO this!
    June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS. image

    November 2010- FAILED FET! BS!
    January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS!
    February 2011- lost twin. BS. image

    SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world!

    November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs)
    April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs.
    FROZEN CYCLE JUNE! BFP
    BABY BOY VINCENT!
    image

    We can't wait to meet you!
    Conception:image
    imageimage Potato Love!

    BabyFruit Ticker


  • Jodee37Jodee37 member
    @Momarazzi007 is that pink moscato?
    Me: 36, DH: 36
    DH's SA = normal
    1 tube only wonder
    AFC 3-5, AMH 0.30

    BFP #1 3/29/11.  EDD 12/4/11... Missed m/c 5/9/11. Cytotec fail. D&C 5/17/11.
    BFP #2   7/5/11.  EDD 3/14/12... Our rainbow Kellen born 3/14/12 via c/s.
    BFP #3 5/30/13.  EDD 2/8/14...  6wk u/s HB 126. 8wk u/s lost HB. D&C 7/12/13.
    BFP #4 2/18/14.  EDD 10/30/14... Ruptured ectopic with L tube removed & D&C 3/7/14.
    BFP #5 7/27/14.  EDD 4/9/15...  m/c @ 5w4d.

    IVF #1    Oct 2014 - antagonist protocol: 9R, 7M, 5F. 3dt of 3 Grade 2 embies. BFN. 
    IVF #2    Jan 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.  Converted to IUI #1. BFFN
    IVF #2.1 March 2015 cancelled due to dominant follicle.

    BFP #6  (SUPRISE!) 3/19/15.  EDD 11/30/15...  CP at 4w2d.
    IUI #2:    Clomid + Follistim = 3 follies. BFN.
    IVF #2.2 May 2015 - horrible response to micro lupron flare protocol: 3R, 3M, 3F. 3dt of 2 Grade 3 embies. BFFN. 

    BFP #7 (beyond surprised again!) 4/26/16. EDD 1/5/17. beautiful betas!!!! and then near-fatal hemorrhagic corpus luteum. turns out baby was ectopic after all; another lap 5/6 (@24dpo).

    the universe can fuck off.


     "You are overly paranoid and delusional that every one is out to get you." -lastsliverofhope

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    all AL welcome. TTC #2 for 43 44 months.
    follow my infertility journey here at timestandsstillblog.com

  • @Jodee37‌ yes m'am
    January 2007- Stop BCP! Let's DO this!
    June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS. image

    November 2010- FAILED FET! BS!
    January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS!
    February 2011- lost twin. BS. image

    SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world!

    November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs)
    April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs.
    FROZEN CYCLE JUNE! BFP
    BABY BOY VINCENT!
    image

    We can't wait to meet you!
    Conception:image
    imageimage Potato Love!

    BabyFruit Ticker


  • I'm sorry :(

    I think all of us reading this post understand exactly where you are coming from.  Big hugs and here's a drink to get started!  A margarita on a quiet beach...where no one can bother you with silly, inappropriate comments and questions.

    image
    Me: 35 DH: 35 - Married 10 years
    PCOS and MF

    Two failed rounds IUI in 2010
    IVF #1 in 2011 - BFP 8/5/11 - Our IVF miracle was born 4/8/12
    FET 9/23/13; BFP -Twins-10/3/13; EDD 6/10/14; MC 11/1/13; D&C 11/4/13
    FET 3/28/14; BFN - 4/7/14
    IVF #2 - Transfer 2 embryos 11/14/14; BFP 11/24/14 - Beta 265;
    11/26/14 - Beta 612; 11/28/14 - Beta 1263; 12/1/14 - Beta 3571;
    12/3/14 - first u/s - two gestational sacs; 12/17/14 - two healthy heartbeats (132 and 134)
    Our IVF miracles were born 7/16/15

    image
    image
  • Damn, did we all drink so much we forgot happy hour?!??? My bad too biotches!!! ;) hope you all have a great weekend and appreciate the several drunken proof reads I did not to post asinine crap :\">
    January 2007- Stop BCP! Let's DO this!
    June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS. image

    November 2010- FAILED FET! BS!
    January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS!
    February 2011- lost twin. BS. image

    SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world!

    November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs)
    April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs.
    FROZEN CYCLE JUNE! BFP
    BABY BOY VINCENT!
    image

    We can't wait to meet you!
    Conception:image
    imageimage Potato Love!

    BabyFruit Ticker


  • Well I drank Friday night, and I think I only cried about 4 times all weekend, so I would say it was a success. Hope everyone had a nice Mothers day. I am anxious to finally go to my RE on Wednesday and stop charting- sorry, OB, I am not very good at charting...
  • I am sorry, I think we all feel this way in one way or another.

    I hope the RE appointment went well and you feel more hopeful.  
    H: 34 dx Azoospermia due to CBAVD from CF  
    ME: 39 IS FINE!!!  DOR and poor AMH/FSH/LH
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #1 Beta 1 373 Beta 2 1783 BOY/GIRL TWINS!! Born April 2010!!
    Natural FET 5/26/12 2 blasts Beta 1 207 Beta 2 513 Beta 3 1377 U/S 6/28 Pregnancy not viable d & c scheduled :( 
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #2 ER 11/15/12 Nothing to transfer :( 
    IVF/ICSI #3 April 2013 MDLF 3dt of 3 embryos, chemical :(  
    IVF #4/ICSI/MESA/CCS/FET EPP April 2015
    ODWU CCRM with Dr. Sch COMPLETE!!!! Put on acai supplement they are studying for DOR and embryo quality.
    DAY 3 Labs Drawn 2/26 put on vitamin D and calcium supplements
    Regroup and Protocol Reveal 3/04 "Bazooka Protocol" EPP with MDLF "Protocol 6 with patches"
    ER/MESA 4/10 ER 9 eggs retrieved MESA success found live swimmers :)
    Fertilization Report 6 eggs mature and ICSI'd 4 eggs fertilized normally
    Day 6 Report to Blast for CCS 4/16: 2 DAY 5 BLASTS BIOPSIED FOR CCS a 4AB and a 3AB!!!!
    CCS Results BOTH BLASTS CCS NORMAL!!!!!!  call on 4/24
    Regroup call to discuss CCS results and FET call on 5/20
    FET prep: CD 1 6/08 CD 3 Start BCP 6/10, HSG 6/12 Lupron Start 10 iu 6/17 End BCP 6/21 CD 1 6/23!!!
    Start vivelle patches 6/25 change e/o/d reduce Lupron to 5iu 6/25 Blood Draw 7/01, 7/08, 7/15, 7/19
    Increase vivelle patches 7/03 2 change e/o/d and 7/05 change e/o/d 3 and 7/07 4 change e/o/d add vaginal estrace 2x a day
    Lining Check/Blood Draw 7/08 and 7/15 End Lupron 7/18  Start PIO 1ml daily 7/18  Blood  Draw 7/19
    Flight to clinic 7/22
    FET 2 CCS BLASTS :):)  7/23 :):) YES YES both thawed and both fully expanded :):)
    7/26 :):) 3dp5dt PM very very faint positive FRER
    7/27: 4dp5dt Neg Digi AM but very very faint positive FRER PM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 1-2 :):) 
    7/31:8dp5dt AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 2-3!!!! :):) 
    Beta 1 8/01= 408!!!!!!!!!! at 9dp5dt FET
    Beta 2 8/03 = 1014!!!!!!!!!! at 11dp5dt FET
    8/05/2015 AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 3+!!!! :):) 
    First Ultrasound: 8/20!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Genetics says BOTH BOYS!!!!!!!!!
    Second Ultrasound: 9/03!!!!!!!!!!










     










This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"