Working Moms

FTM: Daycare questions

When should I start looking for daycare for LO? Not due until October, and I will be taking the full 12 weeks of FMLA, putting me back at work sometime in the middle of January. 

Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated. TIA!

Re: FTM: Daycare questions

  • jlaOKjlaOK member
    It depends on your area and how hard it is to get into daycare.  With my first I got on waiting lists when I was around 13 weeks and still had to scramble to find care.  Daycare centers usually have long waiting lists that you have to get on early.  In-home daycare's availability changes frequently so they might not be able to guarantee a spot early on.  I don't think it's too early for you to call around now and start looking at places.
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  • You should start ASAP.
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  • ccamccam member
    Doesn't hurt to start now, especially if the center or in home you want is in high demand.

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  • Wow... okay, thank you! Next question... what's the best way to find in-home day care?
  • It will really depend on your area, but the sooner the better. I had a deposit down when I was about 4 months along, and we didn't get into some of the places that we were waitlisted.
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  • i agree you should start soon. i started looking in my 2nd trimester. particularly if you're looking at smaller places (like in-home daycare), there are not very many openings and you want to be able to reserve a spot. and you want to leave yourself time to visit the places on your list in person (possibly more than once).

    i think the best way is to ask people you know for recommendations. once you have names you can start making visits, double-checking on your state's website to make sure they're certified, and calling their references. 
  • I had daycare lined up at 15 weeks. I found word of mouth and personal references were the best way to find places. However, in the end, I choose a home center where I saw a sign in their front yard. It was totally shady at first, but I just LOVED the lady. Some how I knew it would be right for my DD. Congratulations and good luck. :)
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  • jlaOKjlaOK member

    RC1014 said:
    Wow... okay, thank you! Next question... what's the best way to find in-home day care?
    My city has it's own website for in-home daycare's which list their websites (if they have one), location, and availability.  If there isn't anything like that for your city your state agency (who regulates daycare's licensed) should have a list.  I came up with a list of questions and cold called places.  From there I had a handful that DH and I interviewed in person and we selected one from there.
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  • Thanks everyone! I just did a quick Google search and it seems there are lots of in-home day cares in our area. I think I'll wait til we formally announce, ask around to working mom friends in the area to see if I can get referrals first, then pursue the online route for interviews. 


  • ss265ss265 member

    With my first, I started checking out DC when I was 12 weeks along. We enrolled DS when I was about 20 weeks and got the last spot left at our DC. It really depends on where you live - in general urban areas have very long waiting lists so I would start now.

    You need to make some important choices like the following to help in your search

    1) DC close to home or work? There are pros and cons to each but it really varies based on your individual situation

    2) Day care center, in home day care, or nanny? Again, pros and cons to each one. In home is generally cheapest and nanny is usually the most expensive.

    I live in TX and day cares are state regulated here. I started by looking at the state records for day cares close to my home (in TX, it is all listed on a website). If you google your state and day care, you might find something similar. On the website, I was able to look at inspection reports and ruled out some day cares based on the results. I also made a list of in homes near me to check them out. I then visited my top 2-3 day care centers and called the in homes that looked promising.

    When you visit, I would make a list of questions to ask the providers. Also observe the kids - do they seem happy? Are providers interacting with them? At one DC I visited, an infant was in a crib with a blanket on him which was a red flag to me.

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  • I think the best way to find in-home daycares is through referrals. You'll find a lot on Craigslist, but there's nothing better than personal experience from someone you know and trust.

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  • I am also late to this thread. I've heard great things about care.com. I would also see if people in the area that you trust have people that you could go from there and branch out. You may want your name on a couple of waiting lists in case circumstances change and you need to go with a back up center.
    So Care.com is basically just nannies, right? There's no way we can afford that. I signed up for it yesterday and then it asked me to pay for a registration so I just clicked out of it, woops I guess it still posted my profile, I got an email from a college student like "hi I would like to babysit for you 1 day a week" Haha...  
  • I put us on a waiting list after my 1st trimester.  The place I wanted had a 1 year wait for infants (which sounds crazy!). But thankfully we made it to the top of the list on time.
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  • There's no way we will be able to afford a "center," so I am just going to wait a bit and go the in-home daycare route. Where we live, full-time care for an infant in a center is 75% of my income. It's like, whats the point of working to bring home $500 a month???
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  • @libberluru Thank you so much!! 
  • I refer to this website this a lot. I think some of the places listed are out of date, but you can always call to find out.

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  • ss265 said:
    RC1014 said:
    There's no way we will be able to afford a "center," so I am just going to wait a bit and go the in-home daycare route. Where we live, full-time care for an infant in a center is 75% of my income. It's like, whats the point of working to bring home $500 a month???
    It's not purely financial - there are other factors to consider like insurance benefits, promotions, difficulty to re-enter the work force after you have left it for a few years and sometimes just your general sanity. :) For me personally, having time away from my baby makes me a better Mom.
    Hi, sorry I lost this and forgot to follow up. I like your points made here. Thanks for the positive spin! Update to our daycare situation: my parents have offered to do 1, maybe 2 days of childcare per week which means we would only need to pay someone for part time. Which is great news!
  • ss265ss265 member

    @RC1014, that is great! Just be aware that there are draw backs to family caring for your baby. Issues might come up if they do things differently from you or don't want to follow directions you might leave for them. At the very least, make sure to have a plan if they can't watch the baby at the last minute or discuss with them how much notice you would need if they can't watch the baby. Here's a post where someone ran into issues with her parents watching her baby.

    Not saying that it won't work out - just pointing out pitfalls to be aware of. I'm glad that you were able to find a solution!

    https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/81088764#Comment_81088764

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  • Look into your states daycare/education licensing department. In MD there is a website that lists all of the licensed daycares and contact information. I contacted a few and inquired about infant spot availability around the time I went back to work. Many of them will know if they have a child in their care that has a birthday near that time and is "moving up". In MD in home daycares can only have 2 children under 2, but 6 additional children over 2. So if they have a kid already in their care that's turning 2 around the time your baby will start, they'll have an infant spot opening then. And then they could hold it for you.

    Word of mouth is definitely the best for in home daycares. Lots will also do part time. 

    We decided not to have family watch our LO because doing part time 3 days a week wasn't much of a savings, and I didn't want to have LO switching up his routine every couple of days. But it was mostly because part time care only saved $30 or so a week. 
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  • ss265 said:

    @RC1014, that is great! Just be aware that there are draw backs to family caring for your baby. Issues might come up if they do things differently from you or don't want to follow directions you might leave for them. At the very least, make sure to have a plan if they can't watch the baby at the last minute or discuss with them how much notice you would need if they can't watch the baby. Here's a post where someone ran into issues with her parents watching her baby.

    Not saying that it won't work out - just pointing out pitfalls to be aware of. I'm glad that you were able to find a solution!

    https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/81088764#Comment_81088764

    @ss265 Your point about drawbacks to family watching the LO was definitely insightful! My mom had already changed her mind about her availability, when I told her I didn't want her taking the baby out in the middle of flu season in a cold climate for several months... She was like "I can't be cooped up in the house all day with a baby, I'm going to need freedom to take the baby out and about" I was just not comfortable with that, especially since it was only ONE day out of the week, so I'm glad we decided to go with a center where I can dictate more of what happens throughout the day. The unreliability potential of using family as a DC provider is huge. I'm so glad you pointed that out to me and I was able to change my mind before we got too far into relying on her as our childcare plan! I love my mom to death, but just can't count on her for reliable childcare, which is sad, but whatever.
  • ss265ss265 member
    RC1014 said:
    ss265 said:

    @RC1014, that is great! Just be aware that there are draw backs to family caring for your baby. Issues might come up if they do things differently from you or don't want to follow directions you might leave for them. At the very least, make sure to have a plan if they can't watch the baby at the last minute or discuss with them how much notice you would need if they can't watch the baby. Here's a post where someone ran into issues with her parents watching her baby.

    Not saying that it won't work out - just pointing out pitfalls to be aware of. I'm glad that you were able to find a solution!

    https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/81088764#Comment_81088764

    @ss265 Your point about drawbacks to family watching the LO was definitely insightful! My mom had already changed her mind about her availability, when I told her I didn't want her taking the baby out in the middle of flu season in a cold climate for several months... She was like "I can't be cooped up in the house all day with a baby, I'm going to need freedom to take the baby out and about" I was just not comfortable with that, especially since it was only ONE day out of the week, so I'm glad we decided to go with a center where I can dictate more of what happens throughout the day. The unreliability potential of using family as a DC provider is huge. I'm so glad you pointed that out to me and I was able to change my mind before we got too far into relying on her as our childcare plan! I love my mom to death, but just can't count on her for reliable childcare, which is sad, but whatever.

    I am close to both my Mom and my ILs and honestly wouldn't want to depend on either of them for child care. I am pretty picky about some things when it comes to my DS and it's difficult when working with family because they usually have their own opinions about how things should be done. I'm ok with letting things go if they occur occasionally (for example my MIL usually babysits for us around once every two weeks so DH and I can have dinner alone and DS usually goes to bed a lot later when she babysits) but it would be hard for me to let things go if they happen every day.

    And I wouldn't feel sad about not being able to rely on your Mom for childcare. In my mind, our parents have already raised us and I wouldn't want them to go through the experience of caring for an infant again unless they actually enjoy it. My ILs babysit for us quite a bit but that's because DH knows that they enjoy spending time with DS. And babysitting sessions are usually short - maybe 2 hours at the most when he is awake so they don't get tired of playing with him and entertaining him. When we have #2, we will probably cut down on the babysitting sessions because it's a lot harder to care for 2 kids than one.

    This is my personal opinion but it sounds like going the day care route is the best option for you. Your Mom can always watch LO on Friday nights so you and DH can have dinner alone (trust me, this is invaluable) or on the weekends when you might need a break from LO. Day care will likely lead to less conflict between the two of you and a better relationship overall.  

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  • I started when I was 6 months. There were not any in home available until summer time. I ended up going with a center. At the center I had to pay a $45 deposit for them to hold her spot until the following April. When an in home opened up, I did not have to pay anything as long as I had my paperwork in. I wouldn't recommend Googling for daycares. I would suggest going to your local website for Dept of Children and Families (SRS, CPS, etc) and requesting a list of state licensed providers. And interview from there. Good Luck!
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