Decisions...WWYD?

MrsT0514 · May 2014

So, I'll start by saying that I know the recent episode with DS could have happened no matter what the circumstance, but I guess it's really just kind of put a lot in perspective (as well as a newfound fever of fevers/illness) and has sparked a conversation between DH and I regarding my working PT and DS's PT daycare.

I've been working PT since January, hence why we put DS in a daycare center PT. Since he started DC, its been a constant stream of sickness (which I know is par for the course, but its taking its toll on all of us), compared to how it was the first year of his life when I was SAH full time, we were never sick.

Another note, we thought my PT job would bring in a lot more money that it has been (waitress). I'm literally working to pay for DC, and barely breaking even sometimes, let alone profiting.

So, DH and I are discussing possibly pulling DS out of DC for a while and me quitting my job to go back to SAH. It would be tight on just his income (he recently took a pay cut), but not much tighter than it has been, with me just working to pay DC.

Honestly, the idea of going back to us not being sick every god damn week is enticing. As well as having one less bill to worry about. But...not getting out of the house to work PT, and having no child free time during the week is sort of scary. Plus i feel an incredible amount of guilt taking that socialization aspect of dc away from him. But at the same time, it burns my ass to be paying for DC when every other week I'm keeping him home due to illness.

Sorry for the tl; dr, but I guess my point is, if you were in this situation, WWYD?

MrsT0514 · May 2014

@Darbie914 honestly, for the most part I do like working, but the constant sickness and no profit factors are huge. Its very frustrating to say the least.

Unfortunately this DC center has a 2 day/week minimum, otherwise I'd love to cut down to one day a week for DC.

As far as work goes, I COULD talk to them about only working night shifts, but the 2 daytime lunch shifts were part of the agreement when I was hired, so I cant see them being too accommodating with that.

@pobrecita I hear you. I agree its a very personal decision...I guess I'm just looking for others' perspectives. ..theoretically of course.

BluepointToasted · May 2014

Whatever your decision, I would just say give it some time. I'm sure your emotions are running high right now, do I'd wait until some of the panicky feeling subsides

MrsT0514 · May 2014

@BluepointToasted You make a good point. Thats also what I brought up to DH. I think right now, we're both feeling nervous, agraid and panicked...and we're sort of grasping at whatever idea we can to help prevent this situation from happening again.

That and I'm getting fed up with working my butt off not making any money!

MrsT0514 · May 2014

@WhoCanItBeNow‌ Very true. I'd much rather him miss the time now than in K or grade school.

ASmallWonder · May 2014

I'm confused @mbenit4 what don't you buy?

OP - is there a chance your job will pick up with the nice weather? Maybe give it a few more months?

MrsT0514 · May 2014

@cmeon_the_water‌ That's part of our mentality. Maybe doing a trial run, pulling him out for a while, me staying home for a bit, and freeing myself up for a better opportunity. When that should come along, Id have no issue putting him back in DC. But...I also know the whole deal with "easier to find a job when you have a job". So idk.

@elmoali‌ unfortunately, since the restaurant I work at is inland and tends to serve an older/senior citizen demographic, summers there aren't much more of a money maker, according to the veterans that have been there for years. Which is pretty discouraging. I like it there, but not really enough to keep paying out more than I'm taking in. KWIM?

I do think maybe there is way too much emotion getting tangled in this decision, so I dont want to rush it either. It seems like a catch 22.

RayRay007 · May 2014

Well I can't tell you what to do, but the main thoughts I have are 1) he will adjust soon enough and won't be sick all the time 2) he probably has a lot of fun at daycare and 3) daycare/working gives you a break and gets you out of the house. I know the episode you had was super scary but honestly, I wouldn't pull my my LO out of daycare if I was in similar circumstances. But, I really enjoy working. Do you actually enjoy the work you do?

MrsT0514 · May 2014

@RayRay007‌ I do find it more like getting out of the house to socialize than actually working. So yeah I'd say I enjoy it...but the particular establishment I'm at isn't making me the money needed for it to be worth it.

Im thinking maybe looking for a new job may be a good bet for now, and then maybe we can give more thought to other half of it.

Unknown · May 2014

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MrsT0514 · May 2014

Also to add..im sure he does enjoy daycare. I guess it's the constant sickness and drop off hell (he absolutely flips when during drop off) thats clouding my thoughts, lol.

Thanks everyone for your input. You made some great points. :-)

Snapdragon750 · May 2014

Flip a coin, and if you're disappointed with the result then do the other thing.

Socialization and bonding time with Mommy are both important, so whatever will make you happier and a more well-adjusted mom is what should tip the scale. You can always do mommy-and-me groups for socialization if you SAH, and you can try and schedule some "you" time for your sanity. Personal decision though! Whichever is better depends on your feelings about it!

TiffanyBerry · May 2014

You're going to go through it now, or later when he starts kindergarten (or preschool). Basically, it's gonna happen. You've gotten through the first year of it - summer will be better, and next winter will be sickness again, but not as much. I'd ride it out, myself. But that's me.

FalconCrest · May 2014

If you do choose to SAH again there are ways to get your son some socialization and you a little bit of adult time. Do you have a MOPS program anywhere near you? I found some great moms groups on meetup.com and have made some great friendships. I didn't enjoy being a SAHM until I was able to find some time with other adults. Good luck to you

MrsT0514 · May 2014

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:
How long has he been going to DC?

He started the beginning of January this year.

MrsT0514 · May 2014

AuburnGirlSC said:
What are the chances that the sickness will lessen now that the weather is getting better?

Im really hoping it eases up now that warmer weather is here (and hopefully to stay! ).

ILoveBoys · May 2014

From the other side of the fence....I have a friend who has 3 kids that are not school aged and she stays home. They are always so sick. Colds, ear infections, etc. She still goes places like the library, grocery etc.

I guess my opinion is there's a chance he could still get sick just going places. A lot of that depends on kids immune systems. Hugs to you as you wrestle through this time!

MrsT0514 · May 2014

Yeah. I guess I'm just basing it off of prior history. I was a sahm for the first year of his life and we were never sick...even with daily outings, but obviously that can change I know.

I know dh is leaning more towards me staying home again...mostly bc of the financial aspect. Its more expensive to keep him in dc since my job isn't cutting it. So idk. I guess we have more talking to do about it.

BluepointToasted · May 2014

MrsT0514 said:

Yeah. I guess I'm just basing it off of prior history. I was a sahm for the first year of his life and we were never sick...even with daily outings, but obviously that can change I know.

This was us too. But....even though I took him out the first year, he usually wasn't really touching things. He would just chill in the cart or in a stroller or whatever. Now he is all over the place, and it is not unlike him to lick a shopping cart or the wall of the Verizon store.

MrsT0514 · May 2014

BluepointToasted said:

MrsT0514 said:

Yeah. I guess I'm just basing it off of prior history. I was a sahm for the first year of his life and we were never sick...even with daily outings, but obviously that can change I know.

This was us too. But....even though I took him out the first year, he usually wasn't really touching things. He would just chill in the cart or in a stroller or whatever. Now he is all over the place, and it is not unlike him to lick a shopping cart or the wall of the Verizon store.

Haha...so true. My kid has been known to lick shopping carts.

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