Parenting Check-In

JGY · May 2014

Good Morning!

How was the weekend? By now we likely all know how @Jazibel's weekend was!

What new or continuing struggles/successes/milestones are we experiencing with our little ones this week?

QOTD: What are your Mothers' Day plans, if you have any?

Pinkspark · May 2014

My first parenting check-in- How exciting!

Still struggling to get into a groove with the twins overnight feedings and us parents getting sleep. I really hope we find a working balance soon before my wife goes back to work and I become a sleep deprived zombie.

We also have two big appointments coming up this week aside from the pedi appts, tomorrow is dealing with little man's club feet, and Thursday is dealing with my little lady and her heart issue. I'm crossing my fingers that everything goes well for both appointments.

We don't have any Mother's Day plans really, I think the best gift would be for little man to poop without the assistance of prune juice! LOL

ATXmommas · May 2014

I'm coming out of the sick baby fog... Actually, things started looking up yesterday. I posted a bit in last weeK's GTKY thread about our latest developments. We started injectable antibiotics last Friday after a completely miserable night with almost no sleep. As it turns out, the extreme irritability may have had more to do with the roseola virus, than the ears, but since the ears didn't look better, we started the injections. Thank goodness - our little one has become a master at making it as difficult as possible to give him meds and spitting all of it out once we finally manage to get some in. We have even resorted to suppositories for fever/aches. He has one injection on Fri, one on Sat, and another this morning. Z took him this morning and there is still some fluid, but overall much better. The dr did recommend we go ahead and have a consultation with an ENT, which I'm on board with. Also, my little spotted baby (as a result of the virus) woke up this morning with no spots! So, it looks like that is gone! And sleep had been better last couple nights. Still waking every 2.5 hours or so, but not inconsolable.

My MIL is in town, which has been great, but in typical grandmother fashion she is finding things we are doing "wrong" - like not covering the baby in a blanket every time we leave the house (even though the lows are in the 60s and highs in the 90s). Nothing too annoying, though, and she really has been a HUGE help while he's been sick and she clearly loves him to pieces.

QOTW: Nothing.

we've been too preoccupied.

PIP:
Spectating his first tri yesterday morning -

ATXmommas · May 2014

@pinkspark - welcome to the other side! I hope the babies' appts go well. Keep us posted!

JGY · May 2014

Ugh everyone struggling with medical issues. It's just so SO hard. Hugs to you both, @pinkspark and @atxmommas!

We also have some fun new medical stuff with Gabe. He has developed exzema and the Dr. confirmed that she believes (as we do) that it is likely a reaction to the WCM. So here we go from celebrating that we no longer have to buy formula to supplement the breast milk, to now having to buy freaking GOAT'S milk at approximately $1k an ounce! Sigh. We may do some almond milk as well, which is at least slightly more affordable. But at this rate there is no end to pumping in sight for me. I honestly can't afford to stop!

In the wins column, we received our personalized sleep plan from the consultant that we have begun to work with, and we are already seeing some pretty significant progress!!! He hasn't woken in the night prior to Midnight since we started, and the going-to-bed process has already gotten way easier. I kind of can't believe it. There was a bit of pain for me the first few nights, as there was some crying involved. But not too much of it, actually, and S never left his side so he knew we were there for him. Last night the only significant crying was when we finished nursing and I handed him to S and I left. And even that was only about a minute and a half. Hurrah!!!

QOTD: I've been struggling to brainstorm a place to go and have a meal for Mothers' Day that will actually be enjoyable, and not a huge struggle. Gabe just will NOT be contained these days, and when I tried to take him along to a quick HH last week it was a total nightmare. So I've come up with an open-air seafood joint that is in a local park (actually located in that park's shelter) and open to lots of running room. The food is awesome, they serve beer and wine, and we won't be disturbing anyone if we have to get up and get the wiggles out. The only bummer is that we can't bring Duncan (though they do allow dogs there) because he's such a wildcard around non-family humans. Ahh well. Bonus points for me if I can obtain a bike trailer before then, and we can ride there!

trisholio · May 2014

We had a pretty good weekend with the girls. Friday they had visit with bio mom and it was a really good visit. Her and I were able to interact more, which is good because we are part of a program where I am to mentor her to parent better. It is much more difficult than I expected it to be. It also hit me hard that the chances of them going home at some point are pretty high and that just broke my heart. I spent most of the afternoon (while they were napping) crying and worrying about them going home. Though I know it won't happen anytime soon, it just really worried me. But I calmed down and talked to my wife about it. We know that its an option for them to go home at any point, but we plan to love them as much as we can now. That is all we can do.

We spent most of the weekend at home, my wife cleaned the entire downstairs, I sorted and organized the girls clothes and we got all the laundry done. Nothing too exciting, but it was nice to just be home and chill.

QOTD: We are still struggling with potty training with M. She is good at telling us she has to poop, but she has wet pull ups constantly. We tried limiting her liquid intake (she would drink, milk non stop, watered down juice or even water as we let her) but that didn't work well either. She is smart enough to go potty on her own, but won't and she will even change her own pull up. I just take things one day at a time and don't try and beat myself up too much for nothing working.

ATXmommas · May 2014

@JGY - i think I recall that coconut based milk has a pretty high fat content if you are looking for milk alternatives.

trisholio · May 2014

M is 16 months old. She came to us in pull ups and will pee on the potty, but doesn't seem to care either way. I hate buying pull ups and spending more money just for her to care less. But I also don't want her to regress if I put her in diapers.

I realized I didn't answer the QOTD correctly, eh we are all sleep deprived.

My sister and I are cooking dinner for my mom on Mother's Day. My mom wants to work in her flower beds and pot plants after dinner. So I think we are going to buy a large pot and have the girls put their names and hand prints on it, that will be Gigi's present from them. I think my wife is up to something for me for Mother's Day, but I have been told to stop asking questions. She is also on this board too, but doesn't post a lot ;-)

mwagner25 · May 2014

@Pinkspark‌ welcome to the parenting check in. Hope all goes well with the doctor appt this week. Keep us updated.

@ATXmommas glad to hear that Ash is on his way to feeling better. Ugh, what a long road it was though. Glad you guys got an ENT referral, hopefully they can help prevent this from reoccurring again.

@JGY we tried all the no tear options for Oliver too but also finally had to let him cry a little... We did the same thing and stayed and supported him. It's been the best thing we ever did though. Ironically we have a sleep consultant appt on May 12th, we made the appt when he was up every 2 hours and stopped letting L rock him back to sleep (he would scream bloody murder until she gave him to me and I let him nurse). We are too scared to cancel it bc we didn't want to jinx ourselves and have him go back to being a terrible sleeper. We still have some nap questions, overnight questions, and questions for next babies. So we are going to keep the appt... She has a REALLY long waiting list of people trying to get in to see her.

Things are going well for us. The only new issue I have had is with pumping at work. I previously was blessed with an oversupply but since Oliver stopped nursing all night his eating habits have changed. He will nurse every 1-1.5 hours on days that I am home, I try and give solids a couple of times per day to help supplement. So pumping at work I now find that I am not pumping enough for how much he takes in while I am at work. My freezer supply is starting to drop off as I am pumping less. He will take 20-26 ounces when I work a 12 hour shift. I am adding in a nightly pumping session before I go to bed. This is helping but I am still just breaking even, no longer am I able to increase my freezer stash. I am hoping that my supply evens out. It seems like mornings that he wakes up and nurses once before I leave for work I am able to pump more than if he doesn't wake up and I start off the day pumping. It seems a bit counter intuitive, but I am thinking maybe that morning nursing session gets my milk supply more stimulated than a pumping session. It certainly doesn't help that it is hard to get decent breaks to pump at work and I am lucky to find a space that hasn't recently been storing a body.

It's difficult to relax when you are crunched for time and pumping in rooms that smell funky and are honestly probably cest pools for bacteria. Other than that we are enjoying the warm weather and family outings and having a blast with Oliver.

QOTW: No big plans yet. I am off so we will probably do something outdoors as a family. L and I decided to plan the day together.

JGY · May 2014

@stringy813 & @Atxmommas we should do an LGBT Parenting tri! I did them as a kid, and then did the swim leg for a relay a few years ago. I've been dying to do another one since. I was hoping for this summer, but that won't happen until Mr. G becomes a much more reliable sleeper/we wean.

@ATXmommas thanks for the info on coconut milk. I've been letting S do all the research (she knows a ton about nutrition science, etc.) and I know that was on her radar as an option. I'll ask some more questions about why she prefers goat's milk. Maybe we can do a combo to help make things more affordable.

@stringy813 FINALLY a picture of M!!! You're right, she IS the cutest kid on the planet. Well ... one of them. Glad the party went well and that you're having so much fun with the new developments.

The sleep plan basically had us continue the changes we made starting the week we signed up with them. The first focus is on bed-time, making the change from nursing all the way to sleep, to nursing for relaxation and then having him learn to put himself to sleep. Setting expectations, giving him a chance to learn and do it. What I've found so far is that much of the plan is what we were coming up with on our own, but it provides us with answers to a lot of our trickier questions, like "Can I pick him up at all when he cries? Yes, I can? How often? What am I doing when I pick him up/what's the goal? What would be counterproductive?" After we get the bedtime routine down, then we'll tackle the night-waking (though a LOT of that is getting better just as a result of the bedtime stuff we're doing), and then lastly we'll tackle at-home naps.

Another nice piece of the sleep plan, is that they manage to frame things from the baby's perspective a bit. And they give helpful incentives to not give in or break down, because they point out WHY the baby is crying and what it will tell them when you break plan.

I'm totally willing to answer any in-depth questions, just ask ... PM or in this thread. Either is fine with me.

@mwagner25 good for you for keeping the appointment! Our consultant pointed out that many people have follow-up communication to address regression issues that come from teething, developmental milestones, illnesses, etc. I'm sure you will still find the information useful, especially if you plan to have more kids. You can do you best to start off on the correct foot!

@trisholio, I definitely don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to potty training/learning, but it does seem a bit early for M to master it. So definitely don't beat yourself up about it! I'd say especially with the amount of transition she's had in her little life (though pretty solid and dependable right now thanks to you two), it might take her some extra time. Good luck! I know how wonderful it would be for you to have 1 less kiddo in diapers/pull-ups. Hang in there!

ATXmommas · May 2014

@JGY‌ & @stringy813‌ - that's Z in the pic. No tri's for me. I just stick to the running! I could probably tackle the swim, but I have a real fear of bikes. I haven't done much running yet, but hope to get out there more now that we can take LO with us. I REALLY miss the running high. A bunch of our running buddies just raced the Vancouver marathons, and I definitely felt a pang of jealousy.

@mwagner25‌ - I'm feel anxious about pumping right now. I was doing fantastic for a while, but barely breaking even last week (and so far today). I think it's because LO wasn't eating as much while sick, though I think his appetite has picked up. Also, it's probably time I do some pump maintenance and switch out some parts. Such a stressful feeling.

Jazibel · May 2014

... Started this earlier but never got a chance to post / Ooops :-P

Owen and I are upstairs listening to EV and Kaden make breakfast. I'm super stiff today so it feels great to lay down and stretch out.

Our first couple of days with Owen in the house have been amazing. Already I love this kid so much. He grows more and more beautiful in my eyes every minute. Gotta love these mommy hormones & the bonding process ;-)

My milk came in yesterday for which I'm super grateful & Owen is eating like a champ. He has a moderate tongue tie so we were concerned about nursing/ latching correctly. Our first few nursing sessions were a little stressful (and took place when I was most exhausted from a day of labor). But it seems good now. He lost 5oz. Went down to 8lb 14oz after day 1. We'll see where he's at when the midwife comes back today :-)

He does this thing though when nursing on my left side. He'll be done and falling asleep and just starting chomping away with his gums. I assume he's self-soothing - but ooooouch. I'm not sure how to get him off either? Any tips from other breastfeeding mamas?

Kaden has been really sweet so far. Our little guy just loves his baby. Owen gets a thousand kisses a day. And for the most part Kaden is super gentle. We do keep a close eye though and are trying to teach boundaries (like not disturbing Owen when he's nursing). Today EV and Kaden are going on a mini- outing to the park or playcare at the gym so Kaden can burn off some extra energy.

QOTD: No Mother's Day plans so far - if I have the energy I might try to make something simple for EV.

JGY · May 2014

@herbabymama and @atxmommascongrats on making the transition back to work! It's so SO hard, I know. But you WILL get into a routine pretty quickly and you will get your pumping figured out (except @mwagner25, I don't know how you do it - kudos to you for being so determined!).

Sending hugs!

Jazibel · May 2014

@pinkspark - Sending you good vibes for your appointments this week.

@herbabymama - good luck on your first day back. Looking at that adorable face I know that it has to be so hard. Hope the lunch time visit helped :-) (I'm already tense about having to go to work in a few months!)

@axtmommas - so glad to hear Ash is feeling better, I hope the ENT has more insight for you.

@JGY - yay for a sleep plan!! I hope Gabe continues to sleep better for you and you can catch up on your sleep too. We adopted a sleep plan for Kaden a while ago and we also had to allow for some crying. (Not CIO) but he would fuss him self down - luckily it was short lived and he learned to fall asleep on his own. Based on what you shared our methods sound similar. FX a full nights sleep awaits you soon!

@mwagner25 - I commend you on your commitment to pumping even though it sounds your work pumping situation sounds far from ideal.

@trisholio - ugh I teared up when I read your post (about the girls maybe being homeward bound in the future). Your open heart and willingness to love them unconditionally until then is inspiring!! :-)

@jrtmom & @sarahtrpt - thank you for the suggestions, I will try the "unlatch trick" :-) Totally forgot that!! I'm not sure he might have a shallow latch due to his tongue tie. We're planning on setting up an appointment with a pediatric dentist/specialist to have it looked at and see if we need to fix it.

@stringy813 - happy birthday to M - cute pic!!

ATXmommas · May 2014

@herbabymama‌ - going back to work is soooooooo hard, but it does get easier. You will get into your new routine soon enough. Thinking about you!

@Jazibel‌ - I did the same thing as @sarahtrpt‌ - inserted my pinky finger at the corner of the mouth to break the suction. Glad things are going well so far!

@sarahtrp - congrats on the adoption!!

trisholio · May 2014

JGY I would love to have her potty trained before the baby gets here in September, but I am not sure that is going to happen. M talks about going potty all the time, so I think there is pressure from family, friends, ect that she isn't potty trained yet. She seems to be 'ready' but I don't really think she is right now. I would love to have one less package of diapers to buy too! :-) Thank you for the encouragement!

jocie626 · May 2014

@trisholio.. Im not a pro at this but you might try putting satin panties on her. I know this sounds crazy but they make them for little girls. My sister n I put them on her daughter bc she wouldn't pee in the potty but she would poo in the potty . Well when satin gets wet it sticks n most little girls dont like that feeling n want to get out of it right away so it got her to start peeing in the potty. Its just a suggestion and I hope you do think its cruel. She might not b ready but you never now that might work for you.

JGY · May 2014

jocie626 said:

@trisholio.. Im not a pro at this but you might try putting satin panties on her. I know this sounds crazy but they make them for little girls. My sister n I put them on her daughter bc she wouldn't pee in the potty but she would poo in the potty . Well when satin gets wet it sticks n most little girls dont like that feeling n want to get out of it right away so it got her to start peeing in the potty. Its just a suggestion and I hope you do think its cruel. She might not b ready but you never now that might work for you.

Just a quick note on this @trisholio, if you decide to go this route I'd suggest cloth pull-ups rather than satin anything. I'm a chronic UTI sufferer and anything non-cotton is a big no-no. Cloth pull-ups would have the same effect, and you likely wouldn't have the same risk of infection.

jocie626 · May 2014

All kids panties like that have cotton gussets I would never offer suggestions that would hurt a child. I will stay out of the parenting check in and im truly sorry

JGY · May 2014

@jocie626 please don't go away! I wasn't trying to offend. I'm not familiar with those types of underwear for kids, and it took me years to figure out all the ins and outs and dos and don'ts about UTIs. Just trying to help where I can.

jocie626 · May 2014

I completely understand I just dont want anyone to think bad of me since its really not my check in. I have helped alot of moms potty train n have found a few things that help with different boys and a few things that help with girls but I would never make a suggestion to hurt a baby please understand that.

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