Male nanny?

gutsymama · May 2014

Just curious - what are your feelings about having a male childcare provider in your home? Obviously you'd want to meet a person of either gender before leaving LO with them, but what's your first reaction to the general idea, not having met the person yet? And not including family members/close friends.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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[Deleted User] · May 2014

I'll be honest... nope.

Lelo2006 · May 2014

I guess it's hard for me to even imagine a male applicant.

Unknown · May 2014

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MRads · May 2014

Lelo2006 said:
I guess it's hard for me to even imagine a male applicant.

This. I'd probably give him at least an interview but the only manny coming to mind is Freddie prinze jr and I doubt he'd be an applicant IRL.

valstulas · May 2014

I have a hard time leaving my kids with anyone. My mother has married not one but two sex offenders. It's hard to trust even family after that.

valstulas · May 2014

All the hugs @somerandomchick‌.

It boggles my mind that your mom, even after all you went through, still doesn't get it. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Maybe we are long lost sisters.

notaffected1 · May 2014

It weirds me out a bit, and I know I shouldn't feel that way. My husband keeps our son all week. I work days and he works nights. It's not that I think men aren't capable, I just wouldn't expect a man to seek a job caring for children.

Clyde013 · May 2014

All else equal it wouldn't bother me

shara3333 · May 2014

Wouldn't bother me, assuming I liked him and it all checked out. Also- Big hugs @somerandomchick‌

Pink724 · May 2014

My brother and I had a male babysitter when we were little. He was awesome. I don't see why it should make a difference.

ljs4117 · May 2014

DH is wonderful with DD, but I often feel like he isn't as in tune or attentive as I am. This is more than likely because I'm with her all day every day and simply know her routine better... but it makes me feel like a man would do an inferior job. I also realize that it's a baseless assumption. I've never thought that much about this before, just my gut response at the moment. Hmmmmm

I also am realizing that I need to CTFD because I shouldn't think that about DH. He's an awesome partner and father. I'm just a control freak!!

gutsymama · May 2014

Big hugs, @somerandomchick‌ and @valstulas. I'm sorry if this thread stirred up any unwelcome feelings.

I was just wondering what the general thoughts would be - we're finally getting things going with the new company, and the first nurse they have available that matches our profile is a man. Obviously nursing is a little different than nannying, but it's similarly gendered and our nurse basically functions as a nanny so it brought up a similar discussion between DH and I.

They asked before they paired us and I told them we didn't have a preference, but a tiny part of me feels weird about it. I think DH dislikes the idea, but he's ok with it if we like the guy and he can start soon (I am panicking about the chapter I'm supposed to have done next week).

We've had a male nurse in the hospital twice. Once for NICU night shift - he was less than attentive, kind of careless, did not inspire confidence. Once for Peds day shift - he was awesome, thorough, gentle, incredibly helpful, and talked to me about his own kids too (they love bananas and battle constipation). I'm very much in the camp of needing to meet him to decide; I hope I'm not more critical of a man but I'm afraid I might be.

ljs4117 · May 2014

somerandomchick said:

ljs4117 said:

DH is wonderful with DD, but I often feel like he isn't as in tune or attentive as I am. This is more than likely because I'm with her all day every day and simply know her routine better... but it makes me feel like a man would do an inferior job. I also realize that it's a baseless assumption. I've never thought that much about this before, just my gut response at the moment. Hmmmmm

I also am realizing that I need to CTFD because I shouldn't think that about DH. He's an awesome partner and father. I'm just a control freak!!

It makes me sad when DH knows what Ros needs and I don't

Aw.. I never thought of it like that.

now I feel like a giant jerk.

@mimi4347‌ - I hope you like him and that meeting him relaxes you and YH!

valstulas · May 2014

Hugs @mimi4347‌!

Don't feel badly at all! It's a legitimate question.

Part of me loves the idea of male nurses/nannies/sitters. In fact, I think Owen would respond best to a male authority figure.

My advice is to just interview every candidate (obviously you would anyway) and go with your gut. If someone makes you uncomfortable, it is for a reason.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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hollandmama · May 2014

hugs @somerandomchick and @valstulas... I can't imagine how terrifying it is for you to be moms and know exactly what child abuse is

I think what PP said about having a girl and being afraid is true, but even if my LO is a boy I am also terrified... I know probably girls are more molested than boys, but it also happens often and what's more horrible is that because it happens less than with girls some people tend to be less careful or to ignore some clues/weird moments...

I just pray and hope that none of our LOs will ever have to suffer anything like that, we can't protect them from everything so I seriously count with heaven's help.

SMac85 · May 2014

Some of the best day care providers I worked with were male. I also know a few amazing male kindergarten teachers. I would be ok with it but would want them to meet he same expectations I would have for a female.

merc5411 · May 2014

Big hugs to @valstulas and @somerandomchick! I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I wouldn't have a problem with a male nanny, but I might feel differently if I had a girl. I don't know. I think as long as they were competent I would be ok with it.

merc5411 · May 2014

Big hugs to @valstulas and @somerandomchick! I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I wouldn't have a problem with a male nanny, but I might feel differently if I had a girl. I don't know. I think as long as they were competent I would be ok with it.

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