Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
JGY
member
Re: Parenting Check-In
My MIL is in town, which has been great, but in typical grandmother fashion she is finding things we are doing "wrong" - like not covering the baby in a blanket every time we leave the house (even though the lows are in the 60s and highs in the 90s). Nothing too annoying, though, and she really has been a HUGE help while he's been sick and she clearly loves him to pieces.
QOTW: Nothing.
PIP:
Spectating his first tri yesterday morning -
Ugh everyone struggling with medical issues. It's just so SO hard. Hugs to you both, @pinkspark and @atxmommas!
We also have some fun new medical stuff with Gabe. He has developed exzema and the Dr. confirmed that she believes (as we do) that it is likely a reaction to the WCM. So here we go from celebrating that we no longer have to buy formula to supplement the breast milk, to now having to buy freaking GOAT'S milk at approximately $1k an ounce! Sigh. We may do some almond milk as well, which is at least slightly more affordable. But at this rate there is no end to pumping in sight for me. I honestly can't afford to stop!
In the wins column, we received our personalized sleep plan from the consultant that we have begun to work with, and we are already seeing some pretty significant progress!!! He hasn't woken in the night prior to Midnight since we started, and the going-to-bed process has already gotten way easier. I kind of can't believe it. There was a bit of pain for me the first few nights, as there was some crying involved. But not too much of it, actually, and S never left his side so he knew we were there for him. Last night the only significant crying was when we finished nursing and I handed him to S and I left. And even that was only about a minute and a half. Hurrah!!!
QOTD: I've been struggling to brainstorm a place to go and have a meal for Mothers' Day that will actually be enjoyable, and not a huge struggle. Gabe just will NOT be contained these days, and when I tried to take him along to a quick HH last week it was a total nightmare. So I've come up with an open-air seafood joint that is in a local park (actually located in that park's shelter) and open to lots of running room. The food is awesome, they serve beer and wine, and we won't be disturbing anyone if we have to get up and get the wiggles out. The only bummer is that we can't bring Duncan (though they do allow dogs there) because he's such a wildcard around non-family humans. Ahh well. Bonus points for me if I can obtain a bike trailer before then, and we can ride there!
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
Baby Oliver born 11/27/13
TTC stats with donor sperm...
IUI #1 with trigger, 1/4/13 - BFN
IUI #2 with trigger, 2/1/13 BFN
IUI #3 with tigger, 2/28/12 BFP EDD 11/21/13
@stringy813 & @Atxmommas we should do an LGBT Parenting tri! I did them as a kid, and then did the swim leg for a relay a few years ago. I've been dying to do another one since. I was hoping for this summer, but that won't happen until Mr. G becomes a much more reliable sleeper/we wean.
@ATXmommas thanks for the info on coconut milk. I've been letting S do all the research (she knows a ton about nutrition science, etc.) and I know that was on her radar as an option. I'll ask some more questions about why she prefers goat's milk. Maybe we can do a combo to help make things more affordable.
@stringy813 FINALLY a picture of M!!! You're right, she IS the cutest kid on the planet. Well ... one of them.
Glad the party went well and that you're having so much fun with the new developments.
The sleep plan basically had us continue the changes we made starting the week we signed up with them. The first focus is on bed-time, making the change from nursing all the way to sleep, to nursing for relaxation and then having him learn to put himself to sleep. Setting expectations, giving him a chance to learn and do it. What I've found so far is that much of the plan is what we were coming up with on our own, but it provides us with answers to a lot of our trickier questions, like "Can I pick him up at all when he cries? Yes, I can? How often? What am I doing when I pick him up/what's the goal? What would be counterproductive?" After we get the bedtime routine down, then we'll tackle the night-waking (though a LOT of that is getting better just as a result of the bedtime stuff we're doing), and then lastly we'll tackle at-home naps.
Another nice piece of the sleep plan, is that they manage to frame things from the baby's perspective a bit. And they give helpful incentives to not give in or break down, because they point out WHY the baby is crying and what it will tell them when you break plan.
I'm totally willing to answer any in-depth questions, just ask ... PM or in this thread. Either is fine with me.
@mwagner25 good for you for keeping the appointment! Our consultant pointed out that many people have follow-up communication to address regression issues that come from teething, developmental milestones, illnesses, etc. I'm sure you will still find the information useful, especially if you plan to have more kids. You can do you best to start off on the correct foot!
@trisholio, I definitely don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to potty training/learning, but it does seem a bit early for M to master it. So definitely don't beat yourself up about it! I'd say especially with the amount of transition she's had in her little life (though pretty solid and dependable right now thanks to you two), it might take her some extra time. Good luck! I know how wonderful it would be for you to have 1 less kiddo in diapers/pull-ups. Hang in there!
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
@mwagner25 - I'm feel anxious about pumping right now. I was doing fantastic for a while, but barely breaking even last week (and so far today). I think it's because LO wasn't eating as much while sick, though I think his appetite has picked up. Also, it's probably time I do some pump maintenance and switch out some parts. Such a stressful feeling.
Owen and I are upstairs listening to EV and Kaden make breakfast. I'm super stiff today so it feels great to lay down and stretch out.
Our first couple of days with Owen in the house have been amazing. Already I love this kid so much. He grows more and more beautiful in my eyes every minute. Gotta love these mommy hormones & the bonding process ;-)
My milk came in yesterday for which I'm super grateful & Owen is eating like a champ. He has a moderate tongue tie so we were concerned about nursing/ latching correctly. Our first few nursing sessions were a little stressful (and took place when I was most exhausted from a day of labor). But it seems good now. He lost 5oz. Went down to 8lb 14oz after day 1. We'll see where he's at when the midwife comes back today :-)
He does this thing though when nursing on my left side. He'll be done and falling asleep and just starting chomping away with his gums. I assume he's self-soothing - but ooooouch. I'm not sure how to get him off either? Any tips from other breastfeeding mamas?
Kaden has been really sweet so far. Our little guy just loves his baby. Owen gets a thousand kisses a day. And for the most part Kaden is super gentle. We do keep a close eye though and are trying to teach boundaries (like not disturbing Owen when he's nursing). Today EV and Kaden are going on a mini- outing to the park or playcare at the gym so Kaden can burn off some extra energy.
QOTD: No Mother's Day plans so far - if I have the energy I might try to make something simple for EV.
@herbabymama and @atxmommascongrats on making the transition back to work! It's so SO hard, I know. But you WILL get into a routine pretty quickly and you will get your pumping figured out (except @mwagner25, I don't know how you do it - kudos to you for being so determined!).
Sending hugs!
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
@Jazibel - I did the same thing as @sarahtrpt - inserted my pinky finger at the corner of the mouth to break the suction. Glad things are going well so far!
@sarahtrp - congrats on the adoption!!
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!