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When your kid is ignored on a playground...

RondackHikerRondackHiker member
in Parenting
Yesterday we were at an indoor play area and there were a few boys there who clearly knew each other and were playing this crazy game of tag.

DS wanted to play and kept running up to them and trying to engage but it wasn't working. I don't think the boys were intentionally trying to exclude him. They were a bit older and wound up and I really don't think they even registered that DS was calling or talking to them or following them.

I ended up taking DS somewhere else in the afternoon and he found someone to play with there, but this isn't the first time it's happened. He's shy and not very forward and then when he does try to engage other children he seems awkward about it. It doesn't usually pan out.

I felt bad for him yesterday but wasn't sure if I should talk to him about it when or after it happens. Like "I know you wanted to play with those boys but they all knew each other and I don't think they noticed you." Or something?

I don't want to bring it up and make him dwell on it and I don't want to ignore it if he's upset. How do you handle it?


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Re: When your kid is ignored on a playground...

  • LadyXaverianLadyXaverian member
    edited May 2014
    If it's bothering her (my daughter) in the moment, I might encourage her to try to play with someone else or just redirect her to another activity. Once she moves on, I let it go. If she were to mention it to me about the kids not wanting to play with her, I'd probably just tell her that sometimes kids don't want to play and not to worry about it.

    It does suck, though, watching your kid be ignored or excluded. My daughter is very outgoing, and sometimes it takes other kids aback. I'm hoping it comes across as less socially awkward as she grows because right now, it sounds something like this: "Hi, I'm Nora. Bet you can't catch me!!"  And then she runs. About half the time they run after her and the other half they just stare and walk away lol.
    image
    Our sweet girl is 3!


    Lilypie - (R7Ux)


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  • NotSharknadoNotSharknado member
    I don't make a big deal out of it. If it were bothering Sophia I'd tell her not everyone has to play with you and it's okay. Life will not crumble if you don't get to join in.
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  • RondackHikerRondackHiker member
    Thank you, everyone!

    I just felt so bad for him.

    @SarahL77‌ DS will kind of do the same thing. He'll avoid the kid and act all shy (and usually make the other kid give up on him) and then run up, get in the other kid's face, and then bolt away yelling and laughing while the other child stares in confusion.

    He can play well with others and he does well with children he knows but he has a hard time striking up playtime with new children.


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  • MrsJakesMrsJakes member
    I had the same problem over the weekend, and it's happened a few times before. We went to a mall indoor playground, and he desperately wanted to play with someone. The problem was that the only kids in there were five 6-8 year old girls. He asked nicely if he could play, and the oldest one told him no. It broke my heart, and his too. 

    I told him that sometimes older kids didn't always like to play with younger kids, and he asked if he could play with someone who is three like him. I said yes, and luckily the next kid that came in was 3-4 year old little girl. I think you just have to help explain the situation to them while you are there, but don't bring it up afterwards, unless they ask or seem upset. 
    DS <October 2010>
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