Jump in when LO gets frustrated?

Beth.1212 · April 2014

My LO (16 months) is starting to get more emotional. For example, if he doesn't get what he wants, he starts showing some temper.

There are some things that I know he can do, and there are some I suspect he'll be able to figure out. Sometimes he has a tough time with these (ex. pulling his duplo bucket out of his toy box). If he is having a hard time doing something of this nature, do you think I should step in to help or let him figure it out on his own? My gut says to do the latter, but it's hard to watch him getting frustrated and mad, and I do wonder if it will discourage him from trying whatever it is he's doing in the future if he gets too frustrated now.

minervacullen · April 2014

I always ask if they need help. If she does she will nod and move a little, or hand me the item, so I can help.

LisaLisa1980 · April 2014

Yes, if they need help, help them. Once they've seen to do it a few times they'll get it

Crequito · April 2014

I ask DD if she wants mama to help. She usually keeps trying until either she figures it out or I assist because I know she's at the end of her rope. I try to give her every chance to figure it out on her own though because she looks so accomplished when she does and I don't want to interrupt her learning process.

littlemurphy2912 · April 2014

In the past month my DD has really became more independent and wants to do things on her own. When my DH and I try and do something for her, she gets discouraged and tells us no because she wants to do it herself. When we see that reaction from her, we allow her to try and do it and when she does we praise her, hoot and holler, clap our hands, and tell her what a big girl she is and good job all the time and she LOVES it! When she tries it for herself and can't seem to get it, I will say "do you need help?" and she will say the word help when she needs assistance with something. If I see her getting frustrated with trying to do something herself I will say do you need help and she will say no and I will let her do it, I will watch her and say words to let her know that she's doing a good job trying such as "almost, you're doing a good job, keep going, you got it". That helps her out too. But when she gets mad and throws a fit because she can't get something to work how she wants it, she will act out her frustrations in ways my DH and I don't like to see and we will just let her be till she calms down. It's been working pretty well for us. Good Luck!

pb_bride · April 2014

One of the best baby sign language I taught DS was the sign for "Help." DS signs for help when he needs it, and thus he doesn't get frustrated or angry. Sometimes I do think he prematurely signs for help without giving himself more time to solve the problem. In any case, I don't run over to help him right away (unless he's in some kind of trouble). I'll assess the problem and if it's too difficult for him, I'll help him. But if it's something he should be able to figure out, I'll get close to him but try to guide him without helping him completely. Hope this makes sense.

emberlee3 · April 2014

My kids get even more mad if I try to help them. I let them work on it until they ask for help. Or I might say, "sometimes it helps if you ___" and give them a suggestion.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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lana22 · May 2014

i would say "you're frustrated" a la happiest toddler on block and then try to get him to try again. sometimes give him instruction if he was still struggling. always try to let him do it himself. if he stayed upset or motioned for me to help him, then i would. the times he will be successful will make him continue to work through frustration. i always emphasized how well i thought he tried, and how we try again instead of getting frustrated. at 2.5 he still gets frustrated, but the throwing and stomping is almost nonexistent, and sometimes he just whines but he knows now to keep trying.

ericaann413 · May 2014

I try to show my son (13months) how to do it if he is having trouble. Like when he was learning to put the rings on the pole toy, he would try a few times, get angry and then push it away and whine. So I would ask if he needs help and then show him and then guide him on how to do it and then praise him for it. Now he does it no problem and every time he does, he looks at me and laughs and smiles waiting for me to cheer him on.

g8trkim · May 2014

I think you should try to let him work it out for a bit. I teach 4th grade and I'm shocked how many kids have issues with simple problem solving. I've made a conscious effort to be better about this with my own kids. I ask "would you like help?" If they don't, oh well, they can keep getting frustrated. If they want help, I try not to do it all and try to explain what I'm doing. I don't just jump in and take care of it unless I think they can get hurt.

BrittanyDoesDerby · May 2014

I try to assess her frustration by each situation. Some things, like you said, I know she can do, she's done them quite frequently or she is close to figuring it out, so when it's a situation like that I verbally validate her frustration and stay close by, but don't interfere. If she has a total meltdown, I usually remove whatever is bothering her and try to find something else for her to do. If it is something that she really cannot do, I talk to her about it and help her out, and if possible help her to the point that she can do whatever it is for herself.

I think frustration is normal and healthy, and that kids need to be allowed the opportunity to struggle and work through things on their own, even as young toddlers.

Jump in when LO gets frustrated?

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