Hey TPR! Got room for another?

J&D2007 · May 2014

Thought I'd introduce over here to get my new journey started. I've been on IFV for over a year now and IF for a few before that. Long story short: been ttc for 6 years, one natural missed m/c, 4 failed Ivfs (latest at c.crm). Still considered un diagnosed, so we have to blame egg quality. C.crm says I can keep going and we may probably eventually get a viable embryo, but we've run out of money. No insurance coverage and $100,000 later...here we are. Best chances will come from a DE I think so we will go that route. I have not done any research at all yet on DE and how this all works, so bear with me! I love the idea of frozen DE for convenience and anonymity, but I know the chances aren't that great. My second thought is fresh donor, but splitting the eggs with another recipient to try to maintain costs. So, I am starting my research on all of this next. If anyone has good articles or resources or advice I will happily accept!

BeckyP005 · May 2014

Hi and welcome! So sorry for all that you have been through. I did have to chuckle when I was lurking and saw you mentioned the age that women can try for DE. It's crazy but they do! Good for them no judgement here. I will be 46 in few weeks and I'm freaking

I will be of no help..lol only because I didn't have to research. Not my doing..MH's. Went straight to DE..stayed local...fresh cycle but "shared" and was on the waiting list for 12 months. I am in the 2ww now with a 2nd donor. Last cycle got cancelled.

This board is somewhat slow at times but these ladies who did DE will have alot of great advice and great info on clinics so get a tablet ready

They really did their research!! MH did not want to travel so that is why we stayed local

Good luck to you!!

2MamazInSeattle · May 2014

Hi, welcome! I went straight to DE myself and did a fresh cycle. But, we were on our last embryo and I had a hold on a clutch of my donor's eggs at myeggbank.com. (She did fresh cycles and frozen cycles both). The success rate these days is getting as close as fresh at some clinics, and its WAY cheaper and easier, and the selection is way bigger! @Mrs.McIrish is pregnant with twins from frozen eggs...

My two cents is that if I was just starting out today, I think I'd go with frozen, though I'd likely buy two batches of eggs and hold one for future. My clinic uses myeggbank, and the average # of embryos is "1.5" so basically it's intended to make you one kid. You have a 50/50 chance of getting one to freeze, too. So if you plan more than one, a fresh shared cycle may be the way to go to get some frosties...

I got 4 total embies from a non shared cycle from a proven donor...and from that it appears I'm getting one baby after using them all up (2nd tri loss, c/p, bfn...and finally bfp). I know @BeckyP005 just got 5 embies from a shared cycle! It is a bit of a crap shoot. Lots of pros and cons to weigh. Oh and most egg donors are anonymous regardless of frozen or fresh. We've had anonymous letters/email exchanges with ours, my choice, and it's great to have a few things from her for our kid later in life, but I realize that approach isn't for everyone. But it was important to me! But I think fresh and frozen are equally anonymous.

Good luck, and please join our Monday check in. I'll add you!

J&D2007 · May 2014

jalara48 said:

Hey Hun! I remember you well - it's lovely to see you but I hate that you've found yourself here. It's not an easy step to take.

I don't have any experience with ED, but @Liz4paws has an awesome info-filled tab on her blog that is worth checking out. You can find her in the weekly check-in.

Hey! I remember your picture but was your name different before? I don't remember.. Thanks for the info on Liz's blog, I will definitely stalk her and read up! Thanks!

J&D2007 · May 2014

BeckyP005 said:

Hi and welcome! So sorry for all that you have been through. I did have to chuckle when I was lurking and saw you mentioned the age that women can try for DE. It's crazy but they do! Good for them no judgement here. I will be 46 in few weeks and I'm freaking I love the idea of a fresh shared cycle. I need to find out the cost of that in comparison to frozen DE. Don't you get more info from a fresh donor? Recent picture, etc? Thanks! I will be of no help..lol only because I didn't have to research. Not my doing..MH's. Went straight to DE..stayed local...fresh cycle but "shared" and was on the waiting list for 12 months. I am in the 2ww now with a 2nd donor. Last cycle got cancelled. This board is somewhat slow at times but these ladies who did DE will have alot of great advice and great info on clinics so get a tablet ready They really did their research!! MH did not want to travel so that is why we stayed local Good luck to you!!

J&D2007 · May 2014

2MamazInSeattle said:

Hi, welcome! I went straight to DE myself and did a fresh cycle. But, we were on our last embryo and I had a hold on a clutch of my donor's eggs at myeggbank.com. (She did fresh cycles and frozen cycles both). The success rate these days is getting as close as fresh at some clinics, and its WAY cheaper and easier, and the selection is way bigger! @Mrs.McIrish is pregnant with twins from frozen eggs... My two cents is that if I was just starting out today, I think I'd go with frozen, though I'd likely buy two batches of eggs and hold one for future. My clinic uses myeggbank, and the average # of embryos is "1.5" so basically it's intended to make you one kid. You have a 50/50 chance of getting one to freeze, too. So if you plan more than one, a fresh shared cycle may be the way to go to get some frosties... I got 4 total embies from a non shared cycle from a proven donor...and from that it appears I'm getting one baby after using them all up (2nd tri loss, c/p, bfn...and finally bfp). I know @BeckyP005 just got 5 embies from a shared cycle! It is a bit of a crap shoot. Lots of pros and cons to weigh. Oh and most egg donors are anonymous regardless of frozen or fresh. We've had anonymous letters/email exchanges with ours, my choice, and it's great to have a few things from her for our kid later in life, but I realize that approach isn't for everyone. But it was important to me! But I think fresh and frozen are equally anonymous. Good luck, and please join our Monday check in. I'll add you!

Thanks you for all that information! It is very helpful. I am not sure what you mean when you say 'buy 2 batches'. Do you mean from the same donor who has donated twice? Or different donors? Also, how do I go about finding stats on frozen egg success rates? Is there a SART like website that compares the different clinics? TIA,

Mrs.McIrish · May 2014

Just piping in to say that no, there is no SART numbers on frozen eggs. That's why you have to be careful with them. Most places suck with frozen eggs still. I believe 2Mamas meant to buy two batches of frozen eggs from same donor- they usually come in lots of 6 but you can opt to purchase more if the donor has them available.

2MamazInSeattle · May 2014

Yes. Thanks McIrish! Myeggbank.com does lots of 8, which at my clinic tend to yield 1-2 embryos. There are some guarantees around having (I think) at least 5 good eggs to fertilize. And you can buy extras if your donor has them "per egg" cost, but you have to buy the lot/batch first.

Agreed not all do frozen eggs well, important to do your homework though you are trusting your clinic to share accurate success rates with you, not looking at something like SART that is more objective.

daydreamer34254 · May 2014

Hello over here. I'm sorry you have been through so much. We are in a similar situation in terms of multiple failed IVFs and still no explanation. I have been having a hard time coming to terms with everything because there's no clear cut answer for us. We are currently researching the donor egg route... I admit that I'm totally clueless. We have cycled with two REs at two different clinics, so we're planning to consult with the DE team at both places.

Lacyj67 · May 2014

Hey girl!! Welcome over here! I hope you have a easy transition!

DoublePortion · May 2014

Welcome to TPR & best wishes!

[Deleted User] · May 2014

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liz4paws · May 2014

Welcome to the board!

J&D2007 · May 2014

JimBobCooter said:

Welcome! Are you in Colorado or did you travel here for CCRM? They have a fantastic DE program, but I'm sure you know it's pricey. We aren't going there for that reason, even though they're five minutes from us. Best of luck with your journey!

No, I'm in MI, I just traveled to c.crm for ivf. I did enjoy your beautiful cities though!

brooklynesque · May 2014

Welcome over here!

Regardless of whether you go fresh or frozen, just make sure you cycle at a great place. (If you stay with CCRM, you will be.) DE is expensive, and having to do it 2-3x is virtually always more expensive than going to one of the places with excellent success rates and getting it right the first time. Which is NOT to say it always works the first time, but you have a far better shot at having it work the first time at a top clinic.

Frozen pros: The eggs are there; you know your donor isn't going to fail testing, or flake, or have a fluke cycle where she doesn't produce a decent number of eggs.

Cons: In a fresh cycle, and even in a shared fresh cycle, you can end up with quite a few frosties. Since you only get 6-8 eggs upfront when you do frozen egg DE, you have a lower chance of having extras for additional tries and/or siblings. Also, few frozen egg programs will let you contract for potential future contact with donors (many in-house egg donation programs don't either, but some do). You might think now you want thingsto be 100% anonymous, but talk out the pros and cons with an experienced TPR therapist first. Many/most DE parents tell their kids about their origins these days (DNA testing is so widely available that you have to kind of assume it's inevitable that they'll find out in any event), and you have to think about what your child(ren) will want someday.

Good luck!

liz4paws · May 2014

OH I forgot to say that my blog is about DEmbryos....I don't know much about DEggs but hope you find success!

Twinkie0612 · May 2014

Welcome to the board! I hope DE finally brings you success!

J&D2007 · May 2014

brooklynesque said:

Welcome over here!

Regardless of whether you go fresh or frozen, just make sure you cycle at a great place. (If you stay with CCRM, you will be.) DE is expensive, and having to do it 2-3x is virtually always more expensive than going to one of the places with excellent success rates and getting it right the first time. Which is NOT to say it always works the first time, but you have a far better shot at having it work the first time at a top clinic.

Frozen pros: The eggs are there; you know your donor isn't going to fail testing, or flake, or have a fluke cycle where she doesn't produce a decent number of eggs.

Cons: In a fresh cycle, and even in a shared fresh cycle, you can end up with quite a few frosties. Since you only get 6-8 eggs upfront when you do frozen egg DE, you have a lower chance of having extras for additional tries and/or siblings. Also, few frozen egg programs will let you contract for potential future contact with donors (many in-house egg donation programs don't either, but some do). You might think now you want thingsto be 100% anonymous, but talk out the pros and cons with an experienced TPR therapist first. Many/most DE parents tell their kids about their origins these days (DNA testing is so widely available that you have to kind of assume it's inevitable that they'll find out in any event), and you have to think about what your child(ren) will want someday.

Good luck!

Thanks for the explanation! I won't be going back to c.crm. I didn't like my experience there at all. I have to do more research on DE frozen clinics as I only know about c.crm and rba where mrs.mcirish went. I know my previous RE clinic here in MI does fresh DE and I really liked it there but I don't have any idea how their rate is or how much rates vary between clinics with fresh DE. I have some homework to do!

brooklynesque · May 2014

J&D: For frozen eggs RBA is definitely reputed to be the best. Other places are getting better at frozen egg cycles but make sure you ask for frozen egg rates specifically before choosing a clinic -- they may not match fresh rates.

For fresh, since you are in MI, check out Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago (AFCC). They have excellent DE stats and a lot of women travel there from all over. Their website is really informative so worth looking at in any event.

JM1977 · May 2014

Hi and welcome. I know you will get some helpful info here. We also did not find success at c.crm with my OE.

For DE, we went to Shady Grove in Maryland after doing some research about out-of-town clinics. At the time, they seemed to have one of the most competitive DE guarantee programs available. We were very pleased with the care we received there and we successful on our second cycle. I'd be happy to share any more information about Shady Grove or the DE process in general. We feel so fortunate to have had this path available to us.

I wish you all the best!

Jessarab · May 2014

Welcome! I have to say, I LOVE your wedding photo

We thought long and hard between fresh & frozen. The success rates at our clinic for fresh is only marginally better and about twice the cost. We've decided to start with frozen and see where it takes us. As others have mentioned, we did chose to secure 10 eggs, figuring we'd need at least 2 cycles and it unfortunately is common to lose some embies along the way in the process. The other reason we chose to to frozen was time - we are on a bit of a time crunch so we chose this route to maximize our chances in a short time frame.

Good luck with whatever path you choose!

J&D2007 · May 2014

@jessarab .. Thanks a bunch! Our wedding was a dreary rainy day and I was shocked we got any good pics at all! Thanks for your feedback, too. I think I may follow in your footsteps. @JM1977‌.. I will definitely check out the guarantee program there. I hadn't considered comparing the guarantee programs so I love that tip! @brooklynesque‌ .. Thank you so much for afcc info. I'm going to look into that tonight! You girls rock! Thank you for all the input already!

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