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Afraid of sex...

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
in Pregnant after a Loss
Anyone else experiencing this?

I am currently 14w5d, and DH & I haven't had sex since shortly after my BFP, so like 10 weeks ago. I read something online that scared me into thinking an orgasm would cause a miscarriage, so I told DH we were going to wait until 2nd trimester to start doing the deed again, and he was very understanding about it. Anyway, at the beginning of week 13, I had some brown spotting that lasted 2 days, and my doc said wait a week before having sex. It's been over a week now, and I thought maybe we could do it last night, but I ended up just being too tired and going to sleep. Part of that was definitely true (I was exhuasted), but the other part is that I'm still afraid! Everything has been going so well during my appointments, I'm scared that if I have sex I'm going to ruin it all and then receive bad news at my next appointment. 

I don't know what to do because I want sex, I think I literally dream about it every night. I'll wake up some mornings thinking DH and I actually did it in the night, then remember that was just a dream. I also feel bad because I know he would really like to start doing it again. I know sex is considered to be safe during pregnancy, but I'm also fully expecting to spot afterwards if we do it since I've spotted twice already this pregnancy, and I know that will freak me out. But mostly I think if I orgasm I'm going to somehow dislodge the baby or something. :(
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Re: Afraid of sex...

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    The orgasm won't cause the baby to dislodge. :)  You may feel some contraction-like tightening afterward but it shouldn't hurt the baby at all! 

    Sex for me has been very painful this pregnancy so I only do it 1-2x a week just for DH's sake. There have been times I've orgasmed in my sleep, though, and get like Braxton Hicks type contractions for a minute or two afterward but besides that everything else has been fine.
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  • ksyknelvr73ksyknelvr73 member
    We skipped out on sex during first tri bc it freaked me out....but honestly, it has been finr since then. I do get cramping and BH sometimes which I really do not enjoy but they go away. I really do think you are fine!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d

    BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11

    BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d

    BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13

     

    BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14 

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  • classicstar28classicstar28 member
    I felt the same way until after the first tri. DH really wanted to have sex but I was too scared that something would happen. With my first pregnancy spotting and bleeding began after we had sex so my irrational brain decided there was a connection. There wasn't, of course, just coincidence. I'm still a bit weary of it, but each time we have sex and nothing happens I relax about it a little more.
    Me- 29, DH - 28
    BFP #1 9/27/2013, EDD 6/10/2014, Mmc 11/01/2013, completed with misoprostol 11/8/2013
    BFP #2 2/5/2014, EDD 10/15/2014, Lillian Verletta born 10/23/14
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  • SweetiepopsSweetiepops member
    DH is more scared to have sex than me! We do fool around though, and I've never felt anything unusual after an orgasm, or never really noticed. I am worried that I would spot after sex because I used to spot after sex occasionally even before I was pregnant. I'm not worried that sex would hurt anything, I'm just worried that I would spot and then not know if it was because of sex or coincidentally that something else is wrong. So we're still avoiding. 
    TTC Since August, 2013
    BFP#1 11/2/2013 EDD 7/14/2014 MMC discovered at 8w3d (baby stopped growing at 6w2d)
    BFP#2 2/4/2014 EDD 10/15/2014 please stick little one!

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