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Really Angry!! Midwife Changed My Birth Choices In My Notes!

Peregrine14Peregrine14 member
in 2nd Trimester

Ohhhh, I have to vent, I am soooooo angry right now.   When I went to have my booking appointment, the midwife asked if I knew where I wanted to have the baby. My choices were at home, at a midwife birthing center or in the birthing unit at the hospital.  I said I wanted it in the hospital as I would be wanting an epidural.  She replied patronizingly, 'Oh, you don't know that' , and went on to talk about the pros of the midwife center. Umm, I do know I want an epidural.  I have a low pain threshold and having spoken to enough people, I know I will need more pain relief than gas and air. 

Just now, I was going through my notes, and came across the question 'Did the patient choose the location to have the baby?' The midwife wrote Yes, and ticked the box for the Midwife Birthing Center (where an epidural is not available!!!)

I am beside myself.  Just because my choice doesnt agree with hers does not give her the right to choose for me!  I have my 16 week appointment this weekend and am trying to figure out how I can bring this up without going off on them.  Really REALLY angry!!

 

And breathe.....

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Re: Really Angry!! Midwife Changed My Birth Choices In My Notes!

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  • MrsLaLaBugMrsLaLaBug member
    Yeah I'm with them, I'd give her the boot. It's your choice, not hers.
                                                                                      
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  • megs2011megs2011 member
    I agree with the other ladies. It's your choice, not hers.

                              

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  • laurenita8laurenita8 member
    I agree with all of the above
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  • GlitterMuffin914GlitterMuffin914 member
    I agree with the person above me-- give her the benefit of the doubt before making a decision. At your next appointment bring up the fact that the wrong box is checked and talk to her about your concerns. Make it really clear what your choice is and make sure the form is changed (follow up on that, too!). 

    If you really feel like she is not interested in your own birth plan, I'd then move elsewhere. But like others have mentioned, it could have been a mistake or misunderstanding if something wasn't clear to one person or the other. Maybe YOU thought you were clear on what you wanted, but maybe SHE thought it was still up in the air and just had to pick what she felt was most likely at that time. Not saying this is what happened, but misunderstandings do happen from time to time.

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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    I would find a new MW or OB first thing Monday morning. Even if she checked this by mistake, who knows what other issues might come up due to her lack of attention. You want to have a MW or OB that you can trust 100%. Having to double check that they're doing their job shouldn't be something you have to worry about.
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  • Ivorytower2Ivorytower2 member
    What? That is seriously ballsy.
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  • shindylahoeshindylahoe member
    Maybe it was an accident? I know I've checked the wrong box before
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  • mb314mb314 member
    LoisLayn23 said:
    Why are you seeing a midwife if you want a procedure that a midwife can't do?
    Many midwives do deliver in hospitals where epidurals are available.  I see a midwife group that deliver in a hospital, and they do offer epidurals for their patients (if they want/ask for one).  I have had several friends who have delivered with midwives but still have had epidurals.  A midwife can't do a c-section, but that's a different story.

    Anyway, I'm in the "check to make sure it wasn't an honest mistake" camp.  And if you get more push back from the midwife, I would switch to another OB/Midwife where your birth choices will be honored. 
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  • Justabean3Justabean3 member
    theresat858 said:



    Emerald27 said:

    I suppose it's *possible that she checked the wrong box by mistake, so I would go in giving her the benefit of the doubt, say you noticed the error and ask for it to be corrected. Restate clearly your intention of giving birth in a hospital setting with all pain management options readily available.

    Just see what she says. She may say; "Oh my goodness! I can't believe I made that mistake. I'll correct that right away." Human error happens...

    She may say; "I just thought we could chat more about it in the future and that you might reconsider." Or something like that, in which case you know it wasn't an error and you can withdraw from the practice.

    This.

    However, if your care provider is not going to be supportive of your chosen method of giving birth (with an epidural), I would consider seeking out a different care provider.


    I agree with all this. It seems much more likely that she chose birthing center because she was mid topic and just made a mistake. You are 16 weeks and have plenty of time to decide. I would just tell her again and see her reaction.

    She may very well say she isn't sure why she checked in and made and honest mistake. It does happen.
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  • lizztheolizztheo member
    I would probably switch midwives. With my last pregnancy, I scheduled an "elective" induction at 41 weeks because I had gestational hypertension and while my midwife was comfortable with letting me go further, I was not under the circumstances. When I had to check into the hospital for low amniotic fluid levels the day of my induction, a different midwife was on-call and wanted to give me fluids, cancel my induction and send me home to "think about" the induction before I did it. I was really pissed about how she handled it, she had never seen me my entire pregnancy and had no idea the thoughts behind scheduling the induction. Anyways, I ended up with a different midwife for my birth because I was upset with her. You need a provider you can trust to RESPECT your choice even if they don't agree with it (unless it's clearly something that puts you or your child at risk).
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