Closure (rainbow baby mentioned)

Mrsmac10210 · May 2014

I've hesitated to post in here because my situation seems rather pathetic compared to many of the loss stories you all have shared. I apologize for that. Sincerely. My first pregnancy, I lost my baby at about 8 weeks in, which is common and normal I've heard too many times. The loss was devastating for our whole family. I got pregnant with my son just 3 months later and today he is 8 months old. What a blessing he is! Wasn't a successful pregnancy supposed to help me get over that loss??? I STILL cry about it all the time. DH tried helping me by giving her a gender and we named her, too. I think that made things worse. My son is amazing and it makes me wonder all the time what "she" would've been like. I'm not dramatic about things ever. Ever. I don't get why I can't just get over this. What would've been her first birthday is coming up on May 10th and I'd really like to do something that might give me closure. Ideas??

lexusolsen · May 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. I think that fact that mc happen to more people doesn't mean it hurts you any less. You still lost a child. I've read recently that since children are our future when you lose a child you mourn the loss of your future and what would have been.

Have you thought of writing your child a letter? I hope eventually you find peace.

lrichmond86 · May 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. Have you tried posting on Parenting After loss? There are many wonderful moms there who have had both early and late losses who may be able to relate to your story. As someone who has had both a second trimester loss and a third trimester loss, I know that a loss is a loss and they all hurt, just in different ways. And having a rainbow baby doesn't make that go away. For me in some ways it's made it hurt more because I know what I'm missing with my boys. I hope that you can find some peace soon.

shandorfml2 · May 2014

Sorry for your loss. You might want to try the parenting after loss board as they all have rainbows. Plus this board is for late loss/stillbirth or infant death. Might find more advice on the misscariage board (but ud suggest parenting after loss as the misscariage board is specifically for loss and not parenting)