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Another reason I'm ready..

MwyldMwyld member
edited May 2014 in May 2014 Moms
Not only am I uncomfortable and so ready for this baby to come, but I also want her to be here so I don't have to feel like such a bitch for getting mad at DH when he wants to hang out with his friends on the weekends. He doesn't get home from work until about 730-8pm during the week, and is asleep on the couch by 1130 (he doesn't sleep in the bed anymore because I have horrible insomnia issues currently). Plus I've been on bed rest for a little over a month now and I'm alone all during the week. I look forward to spending my weekends with him. It's not like I don't "let" him go play golf or go fishing... But I get visibly upset and definitely let him know I'm upset when he's gone out with his friends 2-3 times already that week. When I say something about it, it sparks an argument and that always escalates to a fight that leads to us not talking for at least a day. I know once she's here it will be different, and everyone keeps telling me he's just trying to get in his last hoorahs... But I feel like if I have to be here on bed rest waiting to go into labor, he should be here with me when he can be. Am I asking too much? Edited auto correct mistakes
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Re: Another reason I'm ready..

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  • HallilHallil member
    I'm not quite in the same boat (no bed rest) but with a nearly 3 year old DD, and DH has been spending lots of time working or doing stuff away from home. Fine, if he takes DD with him but most of the time he doesn't because then he "can't get much done." Hello?!?! I get it, that's why it's be nice for YOU to take her once in a while. And then this week we hardly seen each other, today he worked all day then late, and tomorrow I have to teach class so we actually get to spend ZERO time as a family together, in the last days/week of it just being us three. It makes me crank(ier) than I already am then any time we do spend together isn't fun. Lose lose.
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  • MwyldMwyld member
    He acts like I never let him do anything.. So I'm the bad guy because I want to spend some time together just the 2 of us in our last days of being "2", and I should have just let him go play golf tonight anyway because I ended up spending the whole night alone in the bedroom while he ignored me from the living room. We spent all day at his friends house for a cookout, I figured we would come home and snuggle up to a movie or something and he immediately wanted to go back out to play night golf with them. He said I should be sleeping and resting anyway so he didn't see e problem. The problem is I don't think he should be going out anywhere after 9pm... Especially when he was out Thursday until midnight, I made dinner for one of his coworkers on Tuesday and they had guy time until late that night while I laid in the room with my feet up... And he went golfing on Sunday and I could tell he'd been drinking, which I also asked him not to do until the baby comes in case I need him. But ya know, he works 9 hour days and does work around the house and blah blah blah god forbid he wants to play golf.
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  • MwyldMwyld member
    jsquaree said:
    I know how you feel. We moved cross-country just before I got pregnant. DH is from here, so he already has friends and family here. My sister is here, but the rest of my family is still one state over and all of my friends are back in Minnesota. I had a rough first and second tri, so I wound up staying home so I never had a chance to even make many acquaintances through work. I get along fine with DH's friends, but they're still *his* friends. Long story short (too late), I get lonely with him working and me being home all the time. He works early in the morning and gets off early the afternoon, but that just gives him more time to go out. He doesn't go often and tries to invite me, but most of the time I don't feel like it or his friends just want to go to the bar--something i didn't even really enjoy pre-pregnancy. I don't mind if he goes, but I do get jealous. I think you're probably like me: bored, lonely, and hormonal. Who isn't at this stage? Is he going out more than before you were pregnant? Maybe he's just trying to get it out of his system before baby arrives and he knows he'll be spending less time with friends. I'd try talking to him. My DH had a bunch of concerts he wanted to see this month, but I told him I'd prefer if he didn't because of how close to baby's arrival we are. He was super understanding about it. :)

    He definitely goes out less than before the pregnancy... But we went out often together, I used to have lots of friends and we were very social... But my friends like to drink and now that I can't. I'm not invited most of the time, or I can only hang out for a limited amount of time before I get too swollen and have to get home. But you're right... I'm bored, lonely, and hormonal... And I don't think it's too much to ask that on a Saturday night he stays home and watches movies in bed with me. And I don't think I should have to schedule this time with him. (He says we didn't have plans so he figured it would be okay to tell his friends that he could go play golf or whatever it is). I have talked to him about it, it's like he doesn't understand... He thinks I'm trying to tell him what he can and can't do and he hates it when he feels like I'm being controlling.
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  • fyafighterwife86fyafighterwife86 member
    Why can't you tell him you want to go with? If he's just hanging out at the bar or going golfing, invite yourself. He'll get the point. And if he doesn't, it's time for some serious intervention. Before I got PG, DH and I had a night to ourselves every other week. One week it would be my night to go out with my girls and he's stay home with DS and the next week it was his turn. It's very unlikely we will return to that 'agreement' but mainly bc we're in a completely different mindset than we were 9 months ago.
    I REALLY hope your husband comes to reality. Maybe this is his way of coping with the major life change coming his way? Either way, men change when they hold their baby for the first time and I can almost guarantee once he sees that LO, he/she will be the only thing in the world that matters.
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  • LizmullenLizmullen member
    I can soo relate. This was my first week of maternity leave this week and my husband and I have been in near arguments daily. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Being 3 days over due is not helping at all. :/
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  • MwyldMwyld member
    Thank you all for letting me vent! I appreciate the support and knowing that there are others out there who are going through similar situations. I think we all just need to convince our LOs that it's about that time so mommy can go back to being sane!
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  • KBowen715KBowen715 member
    fyafighterwife86 said:

    Maybe it's because I'm a) super pregnant and b) a Grade A bitch sometimes..but if my husband is taking his friends out more than he's taking his own wife out, there's a problem.
    If he wants to hang with the guys, hell, go for it! But when you're sitting at home upset and he KNOWS how you feel and STILL continues- there's a problem that needs to be addressed. You guys are missing out on a lot of your 'physical' time already by your sleeping arrangements (which is perfectly understandable) that he should understand that 1 night a week is acceptable and 2-3 is not.



    This.


    Sometimes I wish my husband would go away instead of stare at me all starry eyed.
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