Feeling guilty....

chrissynena · April 2014

The first trimester of this pregnancy is already soooo different than my last pregnancy (and yes I'm only 7 weeks) Morning sickness, extreme exhaustion, and that overall crappy feeling.

I feel so bad for my toddler. I work full time (48 hours), so there is that guilt too, but when I am home I feel so bad and tired that I don't think I play with her enough. Is this feeling normal? Or am I really a crappy mom?

lcloffredo · April 2014

I feel the exact same way. But there are some days I can't drag myself off the couch to play blocks or color. I'm 11 weeks and it's starting to get just a little better.

BabyKsMommy · April 2014

I also feel this way. I also don't care if my house is clean anymore. I just don't have the energy. I think it's just a phase but who knows.

I feel a little guilty about not being as interactive with my toddler but he knows his momma still loves him so I guess that's what he needs the most. And right now I'm just trying to survive.

manateeliz · April 2014

I was exactly the same a few weeks ago, I felt horrible for DS (22 months) because I could barely get up off the couch some days and was throwing up multiple times a day. Luckily now I am feeling a bit better, but I am still tired in the afternoons and unable to play the way I did before getting pregnant. Hopefully the second trimester energy will come to you soon!

JenyB6 · May 2014

It's completely normal try not to feel guilty. I am 27 wks and still just feel crappy. I feel bad that my boys have been watching a lot of movies because I have not energy. This whole pregnancy has been difficult since the beginning. I never got that burst of energy you get in the second trimester the only difference is my morning sickness just changed to general nausea at 20 wks. Hang in there and just take care of you.

amandam1982 · May 2014

I know that feeling well! I usually only have the energy to make it through an 8 hour day at work then come home, eat, and relax. There is so much stuff at home that isn't getting done, and I'm trying not to feel guilty for it.

MrsP419 · May 2014

Please don't feel guilty- you are NOT a crappy mom. I have two other little ones who I stay home with, and they were 3 and 1 when I first got pregnant (now 2 and 4). I went from constant nausea to constant headaches to constant discomfort- needless to say, I have not been able to give them 100% at ALL since I got pregnant in October. I think I spent most of this pregnancy on my couch with the kiddos playing around me. They were totally fine. I felt bad fro a while, but realized that this is what it is right now. My body is working double-time carrying twins, and I can only do the best I can. Some tips that helped:

-Do relaxing activities with your toddler occasionally. We had movie days a lot with this nasty winter. Sometimes when I had to lay down, I had DD nap with me. Snuggle and read books. Color. Don't focus on doing these things all day; just a little at a time here and there.

-When you do feel up for it, on your days off, maybe go on a special outing. I took DD to get our nails done together the other week (relaxing for both of us) and have taken DS out for ice cream or dinner. These are definitely rare and spaced out, but they remember them!

-Remember that your toddler does is not judging you. She just wants to spend time with you, even if it is snuggling on the couch. She is not going to remember this time and it is not going to do permanent damage, I promise. And the gift of siblings that you are giving her is SO special.

jlefief · May 2014

Get comfortable with that feeling. It will never stop. My twins are almost 3 and I still constantly feel guilty that I cannot slice myself in 3 to give all 3 of them undivided attention.

Just do your best and your kids will love you no matter what. Your a good mom. :-)

hayleydeee · May 2014

You're not a crappy mom! Being pregnant is hard, and being pregnant with twins can be brutal! DD watched a lot of PBS Kids when I was pregnant with my twins, and she's doing just fine. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself when you need to. It's the best thing you can do for (all of) your kids. Hang in there!

24karat · May 2014

Super normal. It doesn't mean that you're a crappy mom to feel that way...it actually makes sense when subsequent pregnancies, multiples or not, are more exhausting just because of the sheer fact that you already have a child (or more) to take care of on top of the usual pregnancy exhaustion.

My DD was about 14 months when I found out we were expecting twins. I also worked full time till about the halfway mark in my pregnancy, when I was put on bed rest. We had to make a lot of adjustments and it was a daily struggle to not wallow in guilty feelings when she'd ask me to play with her and I couldn't. We ended up getting a little creative with our play time. We did activities based around my bed or couch. Things like matching mani-pedis, coloring, reading books, playing musical instruments, Lego towers, puzzles, Skype sessions with family and friends, and online "shopping" (she LOVES looking at food pictures on Pinterest). A lot of times all she wanted was to cuddle up close and be held. DH and friends would help with the more active things like going outside to run around in the yard.

Your kiddo loves you and this new pregnancy will not change that. Hang in there...take care of yourself and take a step back when you need to. You are actively being a parent to all three babes by doing so, even if it doesn't really feel like it at times.

megs2011 · May 2014

You just have to do the best you can. I am the other way around, I have 19 month old twins and am pregnant with a singleton. I'm so tired and I feel like I don't play with my girls as much as I did before I was pregnant. I haven't gotten any of the "2nd tri energy", just like I never got it when I was pregnant with the twins. Do your best. Play when you can.

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