Spoiled.

MrsMeatball41 · May 2014

So Rebekah is now 7 weeks, andy parents came over. Well it's Bekahs fussy time and she likes to nurse or be worn during those times. Well my mom said she is soo spoiled already. All she wants is to be held and doesn't want to be put down.I told her she is too young to be spoiled.

Gahhhhh can't people see I doing the best I can!! /rant

RedDawnsRevenge · May 2014

You must have an elderly MIL like me...everytime she says I've spoiled DD1 I have to dig my nails into my palms to save myself from going off on her.

smushi · May 2014

My MIL came to visit and kept saying to me, "You're not holding him all the time, right? You'll spoil him. You should put him down. You shouldn't feed him so often (breastfed, which she didn't do)." I was like, wow, he's 2 weeks old. I doubt I can spoil him by meeting his basic needs right now...

Hang in there, and just smile and nod and stay vague

You don't have to explain yourself. You're the momma!

Abcollins57 · May 2014

We keep getting that too! All of our relatives say baby has a case of "arm-itis" when I pick him up. I seriously want to catch a case of "bitch-itis" one day /:)

MrsMeatball41 · May 2014

Gah! I get the you're not feeding her enough, she shouldn't have to nurse every 2 hours. while I was taking my final they gave her 4 oz (I only make 3-3.5 right now) and kept telling me how content she was well Bekah projectile spit up bc it was TOO much. And why would you give her 4 when I'm not even pumping that much.

Again I typically bite my tongue, but I was pissed after I told them how much to gv her (wasted milk too might I add) and they still gave her 4

lcr23 · May 2014

My fil & his wife came over. I had mentioned Lily would need to eat in about 45 minutes. About 15 minutes later she started fussing so I said I was going to nurse her. This lady's response was "oh you're giving in?" I told her to watch what she says to me and walked out of the room. They haven't been back since

Linnea503 · May 2014

I'm lucky people don't say that kind of nonsense to me but if they did I would probably try to laugh and say, "wow, you really don't know much about babies do you?"

Lacynduck · May 2014

I get this too ... Glad you posted it

Avion22 · May 2014

The common wisdom several decades ago was that you could spoil a baby. Obviously that's not what most experts believe now, but back then that's what everyone thought to be true. So people are just saying what they think is right. Yes, they should just butt out....but they're trying to be helpful.

Yogini6911 · May 2014

Yes I'm quite sick of hearing this too. My mom understands that our LO has fussy time and cluster feeds but my mil gives me "are you going to take him away from me already" when I am responding to his fussiness by nursing him.

sarlimes34 · May 2014

i'm getting the same thing from my BF. he claims i'm spoiling our son. his mother feels i need to let him "discover his lungs". i can't stand hearing him cry and know that something is wrong and NOT pick him up to comfort him (and myself)

Mustardseed2007 · May 2014

People who say thwt are idiots.

Ok maybe they are just ignorant, but when they don't shut up about it, it just makes me want to tell them they are idiots...

smashton14th · May 2014

I read somewhere that a baby crying is supposed to make us uncomfortable so that we do feel the need to pick up our babies. It kills me everytime i hear my DS cry. I don't know how you could just ignore it. This starts the beginning of unsolicited advice.

ksulli · May 2014

If MIL is holding her when she starts to fuss she tends to leave the room. I appreciate the attempt at calming her down with the waking/bouncing/etc. but if it doesn't do the trick in a few minutes, she's hungry. Your time is up.

*sparky* · May 2014

MIL is 70 so she is also old school. And both of her kids were FF so she knows nothing about BFing. When DS was born she stayed with us for a week and I got similar comments, which I completely ignored. ;-)

I really could not care less about her opinions on parenting.

smushi · May 2014

smashton14th said:

I read somewhere that a baby crying is supposed to make us uncomfortable so that we do feel the need to pick up our babies. It kills me everytime i hear my DS cry. I don't know how you could just ignore it. This starts the beginning of unsolicited advice.

It's true. Anybody else get a huge letdown when baby cries? The first time it happened, DH laughed hysterically at the big wet spots appearing on my shirt...

Significant · May 2014

I used to get this all the time with DD1. It's so irritating and not based in current research. My favorite responses were something like" that's not what the pediatrician said". And then I tell them what current research states. This typically shuts them up or gets a response like "things are so different from when I had kids" - eye roll. And I'm all "yeah they are".

Rrrrrachel · May 2014

It's funny to me that people think a baby that just spent nine months inside of you is going to get spoiled by too much holding.

Kyllarae · May 2014

smushi said:

smashton14th said:

I read somewhere that a baby crying is supposed to make us uncomfortable so that we do feel the need to pick up our babies. It kills me everytime i hear my DS cry. I don't know how you could just ignore it. This starts the beginning of unsolicited advice.

It's true. Anybody else get a huge letdown when baby cries? The first time it happened, DH laughed hysterically at the big wet spots appearing on my shirt...

All the time. We were out at lunch yesterday and Eden was fast asleep but a baby a couple tables over started crying and letdown started and I'm just like "no, boobs, that is the wrong child!"

BiggerinRealLife · May 2014

Kyllarae said:

smushi said:

smashton14th said:

I read somewhere that a baby crying is supposed to make us uncomfortable so that we do feel the need to pick up our babies. It kills me everytime i hear my DS cry. I don't know how you could just ignore it. This starts the beginning of unsolicited advice.

It's true. Anybody else get a huge letdown when baby cries? The first time it happened, DH laughed hysterically at the big wet spots appearing on my shirt...

All the time. We were out at lunch yesterday and Eden was fast asleep but a baby a couple tables over started crying and letdown started and I'm just like "no, boobs, that is the wrong child!"

Haha @kyllarae I haven't gotten this one yet, but I'm waiting for that magical experience the first brunch outside the house! DH didn't know about the crying letdown thing. He, too, thought it hilarious. Funny, he didn't think the look I gave him after was so amusing. So he went online and bought me industrial-strength nursing pads.

BiggerinRealLife · May 2014

Yogini6911 said:
Yes I'm quite sick of hearing this too. My mom understands that our LO has fussy time and cluster feeds but my mil gives me "are you going to take him away from me already" when I am responding to his fussiness by nursing him.

This. I got this from my mom yesterday because we've been open-airing Josie's butt to clear up some diaper rash. She's been laying on her changing pad on the floor for two days, and I let mom hold her for 45 minutes with a prefold wrapped around her. When I wanted to put her back down mom looked at me like I was trying to murder her, and was like "I just got her! How can you take her away!" Because mom, holding her isn't most important right now! Her little tush healing so she doesn't scream through diaper changes is! Like I want my daughter lying on a mat instead of in my arms. Like it's not killing me to have you hold her because you're visiting and I'm being nice when I haven't held her all day for the greater good. Them she went on to tell me the diaper rash looked "absolutely horrific" when it was actually clearing up nicely. Thanks mom.

Off topic, sorry. But the clingy grandparent thing is getting to me.

fourthnlast · May 2014

smushi said:

smashton14th said:

I read somewhere that a baby crying is supposed to make us uncomfortable so that we do feel the need to pick up our babies. It kills me everytime i hear my DS cry. I don't know how you could just ignore it. This starts the beginning of unsolicited advice.

It's true. Anybody else get a huge letdown when baby cries? The first time it happened, DH laughed hysterically at the big wet spots appearing on my shirt...

All the time! Any baby crying does it!

smashton14th · May 2014

fourthnlast said:

smushi said:

smashton14th said:

I read somewhere that a baby crying is supposed to make us uncomfortable so that we do feel the need to pick up our babies. It kills me everytime i hear my DS cry. I don't know how you could just ignore it. This starts the beginning of unsolicited advice.

It's true. Anybody else get a huge letdown when baby cries? The first time it happened, DH laughed hysterically at the big wet spots appearing on my shirt...

All the time! Any baby crying does it!

No baby crying but i was coming home from the doctor without my DS a few weeks ago and went to Walgreens. I started thinking about how it was getting close to my DS's time to eat. This led to me leaking in the Walgreens line without any breast pads. I had to cover up my breast with my wallet! It was so embarrassing. Sorry! I know it was completely off topic.

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