Shower Question: Books VS. Diapers

teachermommy2014 · May 2014

I have been to many showers that ask you to bring a book for the baby in place of a card. I have heard of other showers asking the guests to bring a bag of diapers in addition to the gifts. Any suggestions from STM what you have seen or what would be better?

happylady07 · May 2014

As a shower guest, I love getting the request for a book instead of a card, and I hate the request for diapers. It's really special to get a favorite book that someone loved reading to their LO, or remembers from their childhood, and it is a great way to expand your kids library beyond the titles you are familiar with. Books last for years, sometimes even generations. My DS has a couple books from my childhood that are signed by family members that have since passed away, I love seeing their handwriting and little notes.

Aaaaaand diapers are poop catchers.

It's no contest to me.

MamaBovs · May 2014

I don't think you should ask your guests to do either as you're basically asking for more presents - somewhat tacky, IMHO. If I had to pick though, I would definitely go the book route.

teachermommy2014 · May 2014

happylady07 said:

As a shower guest, I love getting the request for a book instead of a card, and I hate the request for diapers. It's really special to get a favorite book that someone loved reading to their LO, or remembers from their childhood, and it is a great way to expand your kids library beyond the titles you are familiar with. Books last for years, sometimes even generations. My DS has a couple books from my childhood that are signed by family members that have since passed away, I love seeing their handwriting and little notes. Aaaaaand diapers are poop catchers. It's no contest to me.

This is what I was thinking too!

happylady07 · May 2014

K&M9 said:
I dislike it when I get an invitation asking me to bring a book in place of a card. When I get a card, I get a $1 card. A book is at least $5. It just seems (to me) to be asking too much of your guests.

Normally I don't like the request for specific items on the invite, but a book I don't mind. Diaper requests are tacky to me, but a card just gets thrown away half the time anyways, and while yes, a book costs more, I will just adjust my gift budget to incorporate the book, I don't spend more total.

rockyrollgirl · May 2014

I really do not care either way. I have never seen the book instead of card thing, but I have seen countless diaper raffles. It was never a big deal to me to bring a small pack of diapers since I know it is needed.

shevaCC · May 2014

I've been to a shower requesting books, but not suggesting you need to bring another gift as well. Some did and some didn't. I don't think I'd like being told to bring a gift AND a book. I don't use disposable diapers so have no intention of buying them for anyone else.

Jentech84 · May 2014

My sister requested books instead of cards and everyone loved the idea. It allowed them to put a personal touch to their gift (not just shopping off the registry for most) and write a little note to the LO. I picked out one if my classic faves from childhood, whereas parents picked out either their fave books to read to their kids or the ones their kids adored. And the neat thing is she didn't get one duplicate!

She's done the same for my shower and I'll agree with PPs - books are long term & I'll just toss out your card eventually. Plus books aren't expensive, so adjust your gift selection if you care to. Many cards up here are $5 so it's all the same to me.

The diaper thing is weird IMO. You have no idea the size the baby will be, if it has sensitive skin to certain brands, what fits baby best or that the parents bed up liking, etc. And as a FTM, I'd have no idea what I was looking at in the diaper isle!

JadaBlue · May 2014

I've been to a shower where books were requested as the only gifts, but never as additional gifts. Seems a bit cheeky to me, but you know your guests best.

BeachM · May 2014

I don't like specific requests either but I've never been asked to bring diapers. Gifts of diapers are not really a thing around here like they seem to be in other places. I always give at least one book with my gift anyway, so if the hostess wants it to replace the card that's fine with me.

Valancyy · May 2014

I'm going to a shower in a few weeks where they did both, diaper raffle and book instead of card. I was a little annoyed. I don't like to be asked to bring certain gifts.

Some guests bring books and/or diapers as their gifts anyway, so asking for these in addition makes it seem like they aren't "real" gifts, just extras.

HeatherHam10 · May 2014

I always liked the book idea and have seen books you can get for $1 but also even old childrens books that people had left would even be nice..doesnt have to be anything fancy. We put this poem inside my shower invites.

"Although cards are nice,
They're only read once or twice.
A book is a treasure
That lasts forever.
So instead of a card to be put aside,
Please give the baby a book with your name & wishes inside.
It will be read to our little tyke
Before bed each night,
And we will think of you
Forever and ever!"

shutaff · May 2014

My co-workers recently gave me an early shower that was just books, not instead of a card, but as the gift. I really enjoyed it, especially since I am having two more traditional showers.

I have read that both of these ideas are considered tacky, but I don't mind the book instead of a card thing. I'm an English instructor, so I appreciate that kids need books, and I think it's special to have books chosen for you as a baby and signed by the people you love.

The diaper thing I am not so sure about. We plan to cloth diaper, so I am not sure I would want to buy disposables for someone else to use when I am not even using them myself. Also, while you can get a less expensive or hand-me-down book, diapers are pricy anyway you go, and some would consider them a gift in themselves.

jendem8 · May 2014

I thought the book idea was cute when a friend had that request. I know they're more expensive than the card, but that can be taken into account when the gift is purchased. Cards are likely to get thrown away or stored, while books are used repeatedly.

courtniko · May 2014

I do get that being asked to buy something specific can be annoying, but I really do love the book instead of a card. My SIL is doing that for my shower, and I know that I will treasure the books that I get. And I know that I will enjoy reading the messages in the books whenever I read those specific books to DD.

4PrivetDrive · May 2014

I don't mind bringing a book instead of a card. I think it is rude when the host holds a "who brought the most diapers" contest and only diapers were asked for as gifts. The last shower I went to, we were kind of tight with money but I was able to get some diapers as a gift. Knowing it was being judged by size was a bit frustrating.

rockyrollgirl · May 2014

4PrivetDrive said:

I don't mind bringing a book instead of a card. I think it is rude when the host holds a "who brought the most diapers" contest and only diapers were asked for as gifts. The last shower I went to, we were kind of tight with money but I was able to get some diapers as a gift. Knowing it was being judged by size was a bit frustrating.

I may not judge a whole lot in terms of showers, but that is pretty crappy.

teachermommy2014 · May 2014

Thanks ladies for your opinions. I would never ask for both...and it is always an optional thing anyway. I decided to go with books, because diapers are much more expensive than books anyway. And we will have the books for future...not just now.

teachermommy2014 · May 2014

BlinkMe182 said:

I think asking guests to bring something specific is dumb...
HOWEVER....

around here it is common for the guys to have a diaper keg.. a friend of the expecting father (or mother, we don't discriminate) instead of $5 a cup, you bring a box of diapers.

A friend of mine had one for her husband. It was their annual BBQ and usually everyone chips in cash for food/drinks but they word-of-mouth spread to bring diapers instead.

People loaded them up and no one complained.

I saw on Pinterest an idea where the guys have a "Huggies & Chuggies" Party! It is a cute idea....

Tinkerbell084 · May 2014

We're having two couple showers, just home celebrations for LO's impending arrival & our recent marriage. Both sides of our family live out of state. One we're helping to host, to be held at our house, with DH's family and local friends on 4th of July. The other will be hosted by my mother at her home late July. My mom mentioned the book idea, it's become a popular trend where she lives. Like many PP have noted, I think it is a cute idea, but I'm not a fan of telling anyone what they should buy (if anything) - We're just looking forward to spending time & celebrating with our friends and family.

pmpkn219 · May 2014

I like bringing a book for the baby, but I try to get a somewhat obscure one (not Pat the Bunny or Goodnight Moon) and I include the receipt, in case they already have it/get duplicate!

I don't bring diapers because I don't know what brand they want. And if it's a FTM (or even beyond!) THEY don't know what the baby will want either! I got some Huggies at my shower and it was fine, we used them and J didn't react, but I didn't get a ton, which I wouldn't want. He wore cloth at home anyway, so those Huggies lasted FOREVER

Unknown · May 2014

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dogperson11 · May 2014

1. I think it's tacky to ask everyone for 1 specific item (book or diapers). You're lucky to be receiving ANYTHING as a gift.

2. How many copies of Goodnight Moon do you need?

When I go to showers I usually buy necessary items (butt cream for example) along with a registry item. I almost always include a small board book. I don't write in the book incase the parents want to return it.

Weezy2012 · May 2014

For my shower next month we went the book route though I did make sure to have it worded on the invitation that while it would be greatly appreciated, it REALLY is optional. I didn't want anyone to feel obligated but rather it was just a fun way to share fav childhood books among the extended family. DH is an academic librarian so it only seemed natural. He is beyond excited to get his son's "first library" started and had been keeping a list since before we got pregnant of books he'd like to share with his future kids.

In regards to duplicates (because I was also similarly worried about ending up with 10 copies of goodnight moon and people writing directly inside them), my SIL designed an insert that looks like one of those cards they used to stamp in the back of library books for people to write a message. The idea being that we can keep them either together in memory box (what I did with all the "wishing tags" from our wedding) or, more likely, affix them on the inside cover of the books so that we can read him the messages.

Jenrileysmom · May 2014

I think the book idea is cute but after seeing how books accumulate over the years with my 7 year old and having limited space in her room, I wouldn't want to start out the new baby with tons of books already. People give us stuff for her all the time and books is a big one. We've already cleaned out her bookshelf many times and it's still overflowing. I'm not a fan of tons of crap and clutter. It would be nice to think that we would keep the books forever but it's just not realistic for us.

Sarafar4 · May 2014

I actually had a surprise shower thrown for me by coworkers last night where everyone was asked to buy a book. I thought it was do nice and really enjoyed reading the personalized messages on the covers like "I loved reading this to my own child" of "this was the first book I learned to read." We are teachers, so it fits with reading. I do not think it's tacky to make special requests towards a theme at all and I agree with people who say cards just get thrown out. I also went to a shower where we were asked to bring a onesie to hang on a clothesline, I got one for like $3.00 and never gave it a second thought as being "too much."

kaitm22 · May 2014

MY SIL's shower asked for a box of diapers to be entered in for a door prize. It was a few years ago, and I haven't been to a shower since so I didn't know these were considered tacky.

I like the book idea okay, but my mom vetoed it, which is no biggie to me. I still have all the cards from our wedding stored in a shoe box and I would like to bind them together into a book someday. Maybe I will be on the ball and do it with baby's cards right away.

Since we plan on cloth diapering I am not asking for diapers anyway. If someone gets us some that is fine since we will probably use disposables when we go out, but I am not asking for them.

dogperson11 · May 2014

I'm chuckling at all of the "I'm a teacher / librarian / literature person so naturally people get us books" comments. I'm a respiratory therapist - are people naturally going to get my kid play lungs? I'm pretty sure most of the population would agree that kids should have books, regardless of your career path.

kcm3 · May 2014

I agree with most of the other posters. The book idea is nice, but I think only if it's understood that it could count as the gift. Anything else someone brings would be an extra. (Although I imagine most people would want to bring something else) And yes, you should be prepared with what to do if you get duplicates.

Raclla · May 2014

A friend had a book themed shower. It wasn't just a request for books instead of cards. The hostesses had food coordinated with certain books. Think 'cloudy with a chance of meatballs' and the like.

Kids eat books. They rip pages. If you have a ton, rotate them and replace as needed.

I've been invited to a shower that mentioned books instead of cards. I'll figure the cost of the book into the total gift budget.

Books instead of cards and the library card shower invites are really popular around here. It just started this year.

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