Me who doesn't want to clean, but it needs to happen
Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.
Dear DS1 Please stop saying 'no' to everything!! I know you are hungry, stop denying that you require food to survive! Love, your frustrated lunch-providing mama
Dear LO, Thank you for napping without my boob on your mouth. Maybe next time we can progress to napping NOT in my arms? Baby steps? Love, your mom that likes to put away her boobs occasionally
Thank you for taking B for the second night stretch so I could get some sleep. Please enjoy the nap you're currently taking.
Love, your exhausted wife
Dear B,
Theseast few weeks have been really hard on your Mommy, but please know she loves you more than anything. She's sorry for getting frustrated with you at night sometimes, she knows it's not your fault and she's working on it. We just need to get through this rough patch together.
Love, Your Mom
Dear GM,
You've had my car for two months. Last time I checked the parts for this massive recall haven't even come in yet. Thank you for letting me drive in a death trap for the last decade. Please hurry up and fix my car so we can trade it for an SUV. Then kindly go fuck yourselves.
Sincerely, A pissed off car owner
Dear sister, Your DH went on a camping trip. You called our mom begging her to come stay with you for the weekend to help with your son. Your son is TWO. You can handle him on your own. My baby is two months old and I could really use her help. Stop hogging her.
Dear baby boy Thank you so much for the 6hrs of sleep last night it was awesome!!! Love your well rested mommy
Dear hubby Please stop saying DS hates you. He doesn't hate you, he stops crying when I take him cause I'm the one who feeds him. And stop saying he cries all the time. He does not he is usually happy but like every baby he somwtimes gets fussy at night. Signed your wife who gets sad when you say hose things
Dear DD2 Please catch on to the potty training thing I'm getting tired of buying pull ups all the time Love your mommy
What's with this refusing your nap? I get that you let us sleep last night and that you had a great nap yesterday, but you're not even a month old. You have been up since 9:10 this morning with maybe 2-3 20 minute cat naps. I just nursed you down again. Please please please stay asleep for a few hours so Mommy and Daddy can eat and get some work done.
Love, your worn out Mommy
Dear DH,
I appreciate everything you do around the house. I really do. I know things would be falling apart even more if you weren't doing them. But I need you to make your expeditions away from the house count. Please remember to drop off the dry cleaning at the SAME time that you go to CVS, etc.
Love, your wife who hasn't had a break today, because when you took LO she went and pumped.
Dear body,
Please continue making milk. I know I only pumped 2 ounces today, but LO has only taken 2 formula bottles! The rest has been on our boobs or on the breastmilk bottle we had in the fridge. I will continue eating the oatmeal cookies and taking the fenugreek but please please please keep upping production. I have to assume she's getting milk from me since she isn't coming away from the boob screaming for more, and I am successfully nursing her to sleep.
- You
Dear parents,
How many times do we have to tell you to CALL OUR CELL PHONES FIRST PLEASE?!?!?!
- Your children who are getting annoyed at the excessive calls
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me. You made my wedding day complete.
Dear mom,
I'm happy that you are here and everything, but LO needs a nap. I've told you repeatedly that he naps best in his swing in the afternoon. Stop taking him out to "rock him" and talking in annoying baby talk. We will pay for it later tonight.
Love, your annoyed daughter
I know you will give me attitude tomorrow when I bring back some jeans I bought today. I spent too much and they have to go back, so the guilt goes away. I bought capris and a skirt, so it's not like I'm returning everything. Please know I hate returning things and shouldn't have bought them in the first place. Don't hate me.
DH, I'm truly sorry you got punched in the eye by one of the juvenile delinquents at work. I know your head hurts and your black, busted eyelid makes me cringe However, I am so happy the worker's comp doctor made you stay home from work Thursday and Friday! LO and I have loved having Daddy around for 2 extra days this weekend!!! Family time is awesome and we love you!
Adoringly, Your wife who wishes we were rich and you didn't have to go back to work
Re: Open Letter Saturday!
I have been waiting for you to roll over and you chose to do it when i am not in the room. Thanks.
Signed- mom who is sad but excited!
Thanks
Calm yourselves. No need to clog up your ducts.
Thanks.
I am exhausted please vacate ASAP!
Dear Ethan and Trenton (my older boys)
Thanks for breakfast you guys rock
Dear H
Thanks for being awesome and I love you!
Please win.
Thank you
Please stop saying 'no' to everything!! I know you are hungry, stop denying that you require food to survive!
Love, your frustrated lunch-providing mama
Look out!! I'm coming for you!!
With love,
Mama who is done pumping and has a sitter for the night
Thank you for napping without my boob on your mouth. Maybe next time we can progress to napping NOT in my arms? Baby steps?
Love, your mom that likes to put away her boobs occasionally
Thank you for making the 5+ hour trip down to NJ just to meet LO for the first time. I'm lucky to have such a good friend like you in my life.
Love,
One appreciative mama
Thank you for taking B for the second night stretch so I could get some sleep. Please enjoy the nap you're currently taking.
Love, your exhausted wife
Dear B,
Theseast few weeks have been really hard on your Mommy, but please know she loves you more than anything. She's sorry for getting frustrated with you at night sometimes, she knows it's not your fault and she's working on it. We just need to get through this rough patch together.
Love, Your Mom
Dear GM,
You've had my car for two months. Last time I checked the parts for this massive recall haven't even come in yet. Thank you for letting me drive in a death trap for the last decade. Please hurry up and fix my car so we can trade it for an SUV. Then kindly go fuck yourselves.
Sincerely,
A pissed off car owner
Dear sister,
Your DH went on a camping trip. You called our mom begging her to come stay with you for the weekend to help with your son. Your son is TWO. You can handle him on your own. My baby is two months old and I could really use her help. Stop hogging her.
Love,
Your tired sister
Thank you so much for the 6hrs of sleep last night it was awesome!!!
Love your well rested mommy
Dear hubby
Please stop saying DS hates you. He doesn't hate you, he stops crying when I take him cause I'm the one who feeds him. And stop saying he cries all the time. He does not he is usually happy but like every baby he somwtimes gets fussy at night.
Signed your wife who gets sad when you say hose things
Dear DD2
Please catch on to the potty training thing I'm getting tired of buying pull ups all the time
Love your mommy
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
Me: Endo, PCOS, septated uterus (mostly removed)
DH: perfect
Started TTC in June 2011
Baby boy born 3/17/2014
I know you will give me attitude tomorrow when I bring back some jeans I bought today. I spent too much and they have to go back, so the guilt goes away. I bought capris and a skirt, so it's not like I'm returning everything. Please know I hate returning things and shouldn't have bought them in the first place. Don't hate me.
Sincerely,
One broke girl
Focus!!!!!!
Love,
The rest of you
I'm truly sorry you got punched in the eye by one of the juvenile delinquents at work. I know your head hurts and your black, busted eyelid makes me cringe
Family time is awesome and we love you!
Adoringly,
Your wife who wishes we were rich and you didn't have to go back to work