Opinions/advice needed...lurking from TTCAL

Maxsmommy123112 · May 2014

***living child mentioned, miscarriages mentioned***

Hey mamas, first off CONGRATS to all of you!!!

Second off, I hope it's ok if I come over to PGAL from TTCAL and MC/PG LOSS to get your input.

Sorry if this is long but I should give you some background:

I have had 2 losses back to back. One in Sept 2013 (6 weeks) and one in Jan 2014 (10 weeks). After the 2nd loss my OB sent me for testing bc she was sure I had a blood clotting disorder by the "way I was miscarrying". I got Factor x testing, Genetic Testing and tested for blood clotting, all normal. My Thyroid and Progesterone were also checked and normal. I don't have issues getting pregnant, just staying pregnant it seems. I have a healthy 16 month old DS. No complications but born via C Section.

Ok, here's my question, the doctors have told me the miscarriages were most likely stress and exhaustion induced. Both times I was pregnant there were things happening with my extended family that caused me a lot of stress. I am also still breastfeeding my 16 month old and up a lot at night. Do you think that stress and exhaustion could cause me to lose 2 babies? I have a hard time believing that! Has anyone else been told that?

Also, do you think I should switch from my regular OB to a specialist or RE for this next pregnancy? Planning on TTC in May. The closest specialist is an hour away. I want to switch. Doctors and DH say it's unnecessary and they will just do the same thing my OB will do bc all my tests are normal.

Thanks for sticking it out to the end. I appreciate all of your advice so much!

katiebartton · May 2014

I've never heard of stress or exhaustion causing a miscarriage. I would seek out a different doctor,

I also think it's horrible that your doctor would say that, making you question if you caused it to happen ((Hugs)) I wish you the best of luck

2redtulips · May 2014

I say if you want a second opinion, get a second opinion. Follow your gut.

Even if all the tests are normal, you never know when another doctor asks just the right question or thinks of a different angle that others have missed.

For me, I believe seeing an RE made all the difference in being able to conceive. She put me on supplements, a different diet, had me start acupuncture, etc. Those were all things my regular OB would never have tried. We ended up conceiving before we even made it to our first planned IUI.

I am sorry for your losses, and I wish you luck on your journey. {{hugs}}

megbmeg · May 2014

I agree that a second opinion is definitely worth it. You can consult with the doc who is an hour away. That doesn't definitely mean you'll switch, but you might as well find out if she is helpful. And if she is, then make the switch permanently. Good luck!!!

Maxsmommy123112 · May 2014

@katiebartton‌ i feel the exact same way. But then again, I want to be told the truth? But, like I said, I have a hard time buying that I could cause such a thing. It has made me question TTC again now and even made me question things I do for my current son like breastfeeding, bedsharing and baby wearing, all things I really wanted to stick with but now question because I don't want to go through another loss. It has put in my mind, viability of my unborn child or my parenting choices for my toddler. What a horrible decision to have to make! I have made changed with DS and things are a lot easier now. But it has been tough hearing her say that. Thank you for acknowledging that!

Maxsmommy123112 · May 2014

And, on the flip side, DH finds comfort in hearing my OB say it was stress induced. To him it means we can fix it the next time around and it's not something worse. I get his point too.

Unknown · May 2014

This content has been removed.

jenkellen · May 2014

A few things.

1. An OB is generally not an expert on miscarriage. They are more your support once you get pregnant and through delivery. An RE typically is who digs into the reasons why you are miscarrying or not getting pregnant.

2. You may not be able to see an RE until you have one more loss (I know horrible), or have been trying for a full year. Check with your insurance. I just don't want you stuck with a huge bill.

3. Stress/exhaustion sounds like a bullshit answer to me. I'd find a new OB in general who is going to be more supportive in your next pregnancy.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses.

And I agree with the PPs, I would look into getting another care provider. I for one don't believe that stress and exhaustion would cause a miscarriage. My doctor told me that a healthy pregnancy is near bullet-proof and there are very few things you could do to cause a miscarriage. They usually happen due to chromosomal issues with the baby, or uterine issues with the mother that are out of your control. I just don't want you blaming yourself at all for your miscarriages. They were not your fault!

jess123456 · May 2014

I am so sorry for your losses. Like others I have never heard of stress and exhaustion causing miscarriages. That seems like she is trying to put blame on you instead of trying to get down to the reason.

I went to an RE after two back to back losses. It was the best decision because she was so thorough and conducted tons of tests on me and my husband. My OB is great but far from an expert on pregnancy loss.

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I know recurrent loss makes you feel so hopeless and trust me I have been there too but a good RE will give you some peace of mind and I think hope too.

2ndGeneration · May 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I would at least try a new doc, and a RE. I can't believe the doc told you that stress and exhaustion caused the m/c's...that puts blame on you that should not be there, that didn't cause them!!!

Your tests came back normal-so did mine after 2 m/c last year. The RE said the most likely cause was chromosonal abnormalities-which can occur any time and at any age. I'm older (42) so of course it's more likely. There is a chance in any pregnancy of that occuring.

The RE did the blood tests but also u/s for structural stuff . Even if you dont see an RE, I think you need a new doc-neither my ob, midwifes or RE ever suggested that stress and exhaustion caused the m/c's. And with 5 other kids, a full time job and volunteer activities, and being 42-I sure have some of that LOL.. I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant and the nt and mat121 came back AWESOME, so I'm on the good side of the odds this time.

doglover31 · May 2014

If you are uncomfortable with what your current OB is saying I would get a second opinion. I have never heard of stress causing a miscarriage. I had 2 consecutive losses and was referred to a RE. My regular OB ran some tests, one did come back positive for the MTHFR mutation. But my RE did way more testing.

A RE's job is to get you pregnant and through your first trimester. I believe that their extra care is the reason I have made it this far with this pregnancy. I am now 22 weeks and thankfully everything has been going well so far. Good luck I hope you get the best care possible!

Maxsmommy123112 · May 2014

Thank you all so much. Sometimes I feel like my gut is telling me one thing but others are persuading me in another direction. This post has definitely reassured me that my fears and suspicions are valid and I need to switch doctors in order to get proper care.

You all gave such great advice. I am going to call the RE and see if they will even see me before 3 losses (cross your fingers for me!) and also call my insurance to see what I'm covered for. BUT, either way, I will be looking into a new OB if I can't see the RE.

I appreciate all your feedback. I'm wishing you happy and healthy pregnancies and happy, healthy, perfect babies to follow!

Hopefully I will be able to join this board one of these days and stay for 9 months!

Frenchteachermama · May 2014

**lurking from TTCAL**

I agree with PP and get a second opinion. I have 2 girls that I had at 30 and 33 within one month of trying each and completely uneventful pregnancies. This year I've had two miscarriages one in Sept and one in Feb. My former OB did basic testing which all came back normal. I trusted my gut and decided to see an RE. Not that this will happen to you, but it turns out I do have something "wrong" with me and if I hadn't seen an RE for more extensive testing we wouldn't have discovered it. I'm not telling you this to scare you but I personally felt that getting poked a few more times for more blood work wouldn't be that bad.

I don't think that stress is great for you but I don't agree with what your OB said. I'm an inner city HS teacher and I can't tell you the number of pregnant 14-18 yo girls I see who had no idea they were pregnant and I can only imagine what they were doing before they found out.

Just my two cents....

MsAmandaPants · May 2014

To echo the others: find a new doctor.

No, stress and exhaustion do not cause repeat miscarriages and it is irresponsible (and cruel) and lazy for your doctor to hang it on that. Stress can certainly impact TTC by delaying ovulation, etc. and there are certainly long term detrimental effects to your health, but what most people experience as stress is not significant enough to induce a miscarriage on its own. If it were, half of the developing world where access to the most basic needs is lacking, women in war-torn areas, etc. would have lower birth rates. They don't. This isn't your fault and don't settle for a doctor who makes you feel like it is.

Want a personalized experience?

Opinions/advice needed...lurking from TTCAL

Re: Opinions/advice needed...lurking from TTCAL

Choose Another Board

Search Boards