pal related

lrichmond86 · May 2014

For anyone whose pal, do you ever feel like your loss stole your confidence as a mother? I feel like there was a time before baby gary was born that I felt like "yeah, I've got this. " Then after we lost him and we had Aubrey I felt so nervous and questioned everything I did. Since losing Riley is gotten even worse. I guess it's because I feel like I because I couldn't help my boys maybe I'm doing things wrong with Aubrey. Anyone ever feel like this?

lexusolsen · May 2014

I don't feel this way but my dh does. He said that he doesn't trust himself because he couldn't take care of Ben. I try to reassure him that he is a great father to both our children. I'm sure you are a great mother to all three of your children too.

To some degree, doubting yourself is a normal part of parenting, loss or not. I worried a lot with dd. raising a child is a lot of responsibility and there's a lot of pressure to do things right and to be a super mom. Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can and your children are lucky to have such a thoughtful and caring mother.

Noethola · May 2014

Yes, there is definitely a part that has doubts. I was very confident in my body and abilities before we lost Elsie. It caused me to doubt my body, and subsequently my decisions as a mom. I think I would have been a different mother if we had not lost her. But who I am now is not a bad thing, I just think through it all more now. Before, I had faith I could handle mommy moments. Now, I need more support.

lrichmond86 · May 2014

Noethola said:
Yes, there is definitely a part that has doubts. I was very confident in my body and abilities before we lost Elsie. It caused me to doubt my body, and subsequently my decisions as a mom. I think I would have been a different mother if we had not lost her. But who I am now is not a bad thing, I just think through it all more now. Before, I had faith I could handle mommy moments. Now, I need more support.

This is exactly it.
Aubrey is sick today (just a virus/cold/fever type thing). I'm feeling very overwhelmed with it and it had me thinkingthat if we hadn't lost gary and Riley I would probably feel/do things differently.

jonahsma · May 2014

I find myself thinking that something is going to happen to my kids, Especially when they are sick, I start thinking "omg they are sick , they are going to leave me too"

It was worse at the beginning, but it's getting better

lrichmond86 · May 2014

jonahsma said:
I find myself thinking that something is going to happen to my kids, Especially when they are sick, I start thinking "omg they are sick , they are going to leave me too"
It was worse at the beginning, but it's getting better

I swear these words just came out of my mouth to my husband.

gracie5107 · May 2014

I don't necessarily question my parenting decisions, but I do have much more anxiety about losing my son than I did before my loss. If he takes a longer than normal nap, I worry that he's not breathing. I worry about him getting serious illnesses or getting hit by a car. I thought about things like this here and there before, but it's at a much heightened level now. I'm hoping it doesn't end up making me too over protective.

Xath · May 2014

lrichmond86 said:

I find myself thinking that something is going to happen to my kids, Especially when they are sick, I start thinking "omg they are sick , they are going to leave me too"
It was worse at the beginning, but it's getting better
I swear these words just came out of my mouth to my husband.

**ticker warning, living children mentioned**

Yup. There's a reason my almost 3 year old is still sleeping on an Angel-Care monitor.

mingaling2 · May 2014

I feel anxious, too - like I have to protect DD much more so than I did before. I was never a skittish "nervous mom" and it is so out of sorts for me to feel like this. It's getting better, but I still get panicky every once in a while.

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