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Autism

albl508albl508 member
in Parenting
Hello all!  I am a long time lurker/poster. I have a son who is 5 and a daughter who is 3. I have finally come to terms with the fact that my son, I believe has autism (high functioning). Although he has not gotten a "confirmed" diagnosis, I feel like I don't need one.  I just know.  It is so hard to write this but I'm not sure where else to turn. I love me some alcohol and am on my 2nd bottle of wine as we speak. Anyone else have a child with autism?
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Re: Autism

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  • albl508albl508 member
    Well, he got evaluated and according to their evaluation he was on "the spectrum' but they never confirmed the diagnoses. No,I am not a doctor, but have been talking to speech therapists, my son's school, the AEA, etc,, I just feel after all the research I've done that he is. This isn't easy for me. It's a very difficult situation to be in. I would rather have it be anything else, but all signs are pointing towards it and I am heartbroken about it.
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  • albl508albl508 member
    Yes, we are in the process of getting a second evaluation and more speech therapy.
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  • albl508albl508 member
    No biggie, I'm sorry I wasn't informative enough.
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  • albl508albl508 member
    justAphase said:
    I imagine that's a very difficult thing to wrap your head around. There are a couple ladies here whose children are on the spectrum. @LovelyRitaMeterMaid‌ (I hope you don't mind) is one of them and I know she has done wonderfully with her daughter. There's also a special needs board if you're looking for more support.
    Thank you :-)  I will check out that board but I do love you ladies because you drink :-)
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  • albl508albl508 member
    justAphase said:
    You should hang in the drinking threads :)
    I will do just that! My husband thinks I'm an alcoholic, I think he's a lightweight!
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  • JillianGoeJillianGoe member
    I don't have a child with autism but work with, and on behalf of, children and adults with disabilities--including many with autism--and I just wanted to say hang in there.  You're in a scary stage right now, but this stage will pass.  My sister has Down syndrome and my mom is always reaching out to moms who are just receiving diagnoses because ... it's just so easy to feel lost in the beginning stages.  Are there parents of kids with autism in your life who you can reach out to for support, advice, etc?  Just learning "the ropes" (in terms of dealing with doctor/therapy appointments, IEPs, the school system, etc ...) can be so much easier with someone who has been there, done that.  Seek these moms out ... I'm sure they'll give you good and honest advice.  Hugs.
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  • albl508albl508 member
    Wow, thank you for the helpful and supportive responses. I feel like I need to address a few who seem to think I just "decided he has autism and will never go back to the doctor again" That is entirely untrue. This is a process we have been working on for years. It's not just cut and dry. You don't just go in and get diagnosed with autism in a day. Part of having a child  on the spectrum is cooperation problems for evaluations. He shuts completely down. When I said "I know", I was speaking of my mother's intuition, NOT that I diagnosed him as such.

    @LovelyRitaMeterMaid, I am the same as you. I feel like I have always known, since before he was 1 even, but after much advice from well intentioned family members (including husband) I tried to put it out of my head and listen to everyone who said "he'll just grow out of it".  Well, he hasn't. Everyone is just so scared of the word autism (as was I) and don't realize that it doesn't necessarily mean he can't go on to be a normal kid. Part of the problem for me is he should be starting Kindergarten next year and I don't feel like he is ready, so I am taking action now more then ever to get him the help he needs and deserves.  I am starting to get more frustrated with him because he is 5 and his quirks are so hard to deal with. In a weird sense, I will almost be relieved when and if we get the diagnosis because it'll answer so many questions and will be easier to explain to all the people who have looked at me for years like "why can't she control her kid" or "she must be a bad parent" I mean, I don't want to use autism as an excuse, but it will be nice to have an explanation.
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  • albl508albl508 member
    -auntie- said:
    albl508 said:
    Well, he got evaluated and according to their evaluation he was on "the spectrum' but they never confirmed the diagnoses.

    I am the forum mod for Special Needs. You should join us. It's the best board you never wanted to join. Some of us drink. There are a number of moms with kids at various places on spectrum. My own son is 20 and will graduate from the local community college later this month with a 3.5 average and transfer to my alma mater in the fall. Autism is a bitch and I don't have quite the sunny outlook Rita does, but my son is a fine human being and one of the funniest people I know. 

    I don't understand. Was your child evaluated by the school district and given an educational dx of ASD? Or are you talking about a private evaluation with a developmental pedi or clinical psychologist. Normally, once the "A" word is dropped, confirmation isn't given- it's not something school districts or clinicians throw out there lightly. That said, if the dx came via the district, I would urge you to move forward with a dev pedi as a second opinion. DS was dx'd by a clinical psych and then a dev pedi; the school district evaluated him when we bridged to public school and most recently he was dx'd by a psychiatrist when he aged out of pediatrics. 

     No,I am not a doctor, but have been talking to speech therapists, my son's school, the AEA, etc,,

     I just feel after all the research I've done that he is. This isn't easy for me. It's a very difficult situation to be in. I would rather have it be anything else, but all signs are pointing towards it and I am heartbroken about it.

    It is hard. For me a big part of the uncertainty is not knowing where things will end up- will DS be truly independent? Will he be employable at a level comensurate with his IQ and education? Will he have a family and friends going forward? Will he be happy? It takes time to come to terms with the news and even longer to understand what this means for him and our family.

    -auntie- said:
    albl508 said:
    Well, he got evaluated and according to their evaluation he was on "the spectrum' but they never confirmed the diagnoses.

    I am the forum mod for Special Needs. You should join us. It's the best board you never wanted to join. Some of us drink. There are a number of moms with kids at various places on spectrum. My own son is 20 and will graduate from the local community college later this month with a 3.5 average and transfer to my alma mater in the fall. Autism is a bitch and I don't have quite the sunny outlook Rita does, but my son is a fine human being and one of the funniest people I know. 

    I don't understand. Was your child evaluated by the school district and given an educational dx of ASD? Or are you talking about a private evaluation with a developmental pedi or clinical psychologist. Normally, once the "A" word is dropped, confirmation isn't given- it's not something school districts or clinicians throw out there lightly. That said, if the dx came via the district, I would urge you to move forward with a dev pedi as a second opinion. DS was dx'd by a clinical psych and then a dev pedi; the school district evaluated him when we bridged to public school and most recently he was dx'd by a psychiatrist when he aged out of pediatrics. 

     No,I am not a doctor, but have been talking to speech therapists, my son's school, the AEA, etc,,

     I just feel after all the research I've done that he is. This isn't easy for me. It's a very difficult situation to be in. I would rather have it be anything else, but all signs are pointing towards it and I am heartbroken about it.

    It is hard. For me a big part of the uncertainty is not knowing where things will end up- will DS be truly independent? Will he be employable at a level comensurate with his IQ and education? Will he have a family and friends going forward? Will he be happy? It takes time to come to terms with the news and even longer to understand what this means for him and our family.

    I would love to join the board! I too am a little confused about what they were trying to say. He has been to speech therapists on and off for 3 years. They don't touch on the subject. At his 5 year well check I asked his pedi if I could get him evaluated and they sent us to a children's evaluation center. It was a huge mess. He completely shut down and gave himself a panic attack so they diagnosed him with anxiety.  I gave her a long list of all his quirks and she agreed that is sounded like he had signs pointing to SPD (which from what I understand is on the spectrum) but that maybe I should contact the AEA and get him further evaluated.  He also has ADHD tendencies. Ugh..I just feel like I'm trying to get help and we just keep going round and round.
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  • albl508albl508 member
    I think I will go check out the SN board and take the discussion over there. I forgot that there even was one. Thanks again ladies!  Cheers :-)
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