Visiting families

[Deleted User] · April 2014

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Leap08 · April 2014

We don't live near either of our families. It's either a long (multiple day) road trip or a flight to visit them (they also don't live near each other). My MIL doesn't really travel. We try to visit her twice a year. We also try to visit my family twice a year. In between visits to my family, my mom will fly to visit us 3-4 times a year. So we see my mom more often. We also talk to my mom more often.

My MIL is a good person and I know she loves my husband and the girls, but she just doesn't seem to want to be as involved in our lives. She very rarely calls us and I'll often have to prompt my husband to call her (like on her birthday or Mother's Day). I wouldn't say the relationship is strained. They're just not close. On the flip side, I think my mom wishes she could see us more often than she already does, and it would be unusual for us to go more than a week without talking to my mom. My girls love to FaceTime with her and will often ask if we can call Grammy.

jesselayne8 · April 2014

We see my family more even though they are farther away (12hrs vs 5hrs). My parents come here at least 4-5x a yr. I have only been able to go home once since #2 was born because I haven't been brave enough to travel alone with the kids. My in laws are nice but they are ZERO help. I can't even leave the kids with them for 20 min to shower. DH is close to his mom and calls her everyday on his way home from work but I am no where in the picture. I do text his mom pics of the kids but otherwise I don't communicate with her. She is so passive aggressive and gets jealous of my mom.

KellyR33486 · April 2014

My parents live 5 minutes away and I see either my mom or dad (or both) at least 5 days a week. Even if it's just a quick visit... my mom doesn't like going more then 2 days without seeing DS. She also watches him one day a week while I am at work.

My ILs live about 15 minutes away and we see them once every 2 weeks or so. I thought for sure we would see them a lot more once DS was born but unfortunately for my husband that is not the case.

I think by nature my family is just a lot closer then DHs but I constantly get the "we don't see you guys enough" from my ILs and I definitely feel the jealousy my MIL has of my parents. I just feel bad for DH because he doesn't feel like they are involved enough and he wants them to see DS more.

ETA: my in-laws also still work full time so that makes it harder. My mom doesn't work and my dad has somewhat of a flexible schedule so it's easier for them to see DS.

-T- · April 2014

We see my parents 1 - 2 times a month. We have Sunday lunch with them once or twice a month and when DS has doctor appointments we usually stop on the way there or back since their house is on the way. They live an hour and 15 minutes away.

We see DH's mom about once a month, she lives in town. DH and her didn't speak to each other when we were first dating. They do now, but their relationship is still strained. I have a hard time being super friendly because of it. He does help her out every now and then, she's renovating her house.

We see DH's dad and step mom probably 4 times a year or so. They live 2.5 hours away and his dad works a lot. All of his grandparents are from that area too, we see them about the same, a little more.

DH's family comes to us more than my family. Our parents are not retired so it makes visiting a little more difficult. DH is sick of going to my side so much, so I know we need to see his side more. I just have a hard time getting along with most of them. They are very set in their ways (don't get me wrong, my family is too! I'm just used to it.) and they make their opinions known.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

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co baby1 · April 2014

We live about 5 mins from my parents and grand parents. My sisters and aunts/uncles live about 15 mins away. We see them all relatively frequently. My IL's live a plane ride away and we try to go back at least once a year and they come out here at least once a year. My MIL used to get very jealous but seems to have stopped making so many little comments, maybe it's not so bad anymore

moosebaby2011 · May 2014

My mother and younger sister live in the same area that we do so we see them frequently, simply because of proximity. We see DH's parents, siblings, my dad, and my older sister roughly the same amount. The closest of them distance-wise is about 4 hours away, so we see them maybe once or twice a year.

MesmrEwe · May 2014

My family is 4 hours away from us and we (kids & I - DH sees them daily since they work together) see the IL's so much less than my side, which is kind of sad since I don't get to see my family nearly as often as I'd like to and the IL's are 15mins away. It is what it is, but the IL's just don't get together like my family who is very much a sort of "central sorting" at the end of the day family (i.e. kids are with any one of the family at any point depending on who needs to go where and no one bats an eyelash.).. It's harder on DD than anyone else because she can't bridge an understanding that both sides do things differently..

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