Came clean with my preg co-worker (preg mentioned)

chicory · May 2014

I hope this isn't an AW post, rather inspiration for anyone in a similar situation. I posted recently about a co-worker, newlywed only 5 months announcing her pregnancy at work. She's the same one who's house shopping and looking at my next-door neighbor's house. I was very cold when she announced, basically ignored her for a day and was not kind when having to first take on some tasks the staff has decided she should no longer do. I wasn't intentionally mean, I just couldn't bring myself to act any differently when the "wounds" were still so fresh. Well, they way I treated her has been eating at me ever since and I knew I needed to make it right. She's yound and acts like she's got a lot to learn about being pregnant and I'm pretty sure she hasn't told many friends yet (announced very early at work only because of risks on the job) so I don't know what kind of support system she has yet. This week one morning I woke up and just knew how to make it right. I have a copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting" that I got 3 years ago to read along with a friend during her first pregnancy. I obviously haven't needed it since, and doubt I'll be needing it anytime soon, not that I was overly impressed with it. Anyway, I pulled her aside before she left today and apologized for being cold, explained that we've been trying two years and are undergoing IF treatment. I explained that I wanted her to know that I really was and am happy for her, but sad for us and that some days it will be hard for me to act excited, but that she should understand why and not be offended. And I gave her the book, which she didn't already have. It felt SO GOOD to get it off my chest! She admitted she was initially offended that I didn't seem excited, but understands knowing what she knows now, and asked if she could pray for us, which I appreciated. It rubbed me a little wrong that she said "miracles do happen" because...I don't know...I'm not the type to wait around for a miracle. Yes I pray about this every day, but I'm still doing everything I can to give this "miracle" a fighting, scientific chance! But overall, it was a difficult but really good thing I did for myself (and probably my co-worker) today. And I would never have had the courage (and definitely not the words) to have done so without the great support system that is 3T!! Thanks ladies! PS: they are looking tomorrow at a house a few miles away so I hope they like it! LOL!

sweetsurrender9 · May 2014

I'm glad that she was understanding. *hugs*

Lillovebug79 · May 2014

{{hugs}} even though it was hard, I think you did so great thing. It's hard to admit our weaknesses at times.

LRsnowflake · May 2014

That took a lot of courage! Good for you. All of you ladies are such an inspiration!

And 'miracles do happen' is like 'god's plan'. I'll take science instead. I keep thinking of Jesse from Breaking Bad and how he says 'SCIENCE B*TCH'. I keep repeating that to myself

BunnyBerry · May 2014

Congratulations, that was wonderful! You really used wisdom and compassion all rolled into one to make things better, while respecting your own needs at the same time.

I'm in wonder at science - life is so complex and beautiful - so to me even the everyday seem like little miracles. And the development of a child? Wow. Now, I also thank God for that beautiful world. I hope your hopes/prayers are answered soon.

lebradford · May 2014

Good for you! It sounds like that was really hard. Letting people know what's going on is scary, but it can also be such a relief to not have to act a certain way or hide things anymore.

chicory · May 2014

I know it is going to make going to work for the next 8 months or so a lot easier. I should maybe clarify...I myself am religious, but I have a big issue with the "God's plan" concept. Our pastor just gave a sermon on this recently, and it has really helped me cope with the unfairness of IF. Bad things happen to good people, but I absolutely do not believe those bad things were "God's plan." We are not just God's puppets. Meaning also, we have amazing technologies at our disposal like IVF and other ART, and I'm going to use them! Along with my own prayers and any I can get from anyone else. My beliefs work for me, maybe not everyone's cup of tea, but that's OK. I guess I just wanted to clarify why I was a little miffed about her "miracles" comment. I'll take my science and religion together please!

CandaceC1020 · May 2014

I think that you're an awesome person. It takes some serious strength to do what you did.

nswain85 · May 2014

Oh my gosh, you are so awesome! I really am super impressed by your bravery

Good for you to do what you felt you needed do. As far as the prayer comment goes, I would kind of be put off by it too (I think I have become a tad bit bitter, LOL!) so I feel ya with that. Sure I believe in miracles but I think science is what is going to get me my baby

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