STMs - any advice?

drby126 · May 2014

Hi ladies - I'm in need of your guidance! DS is 2yrs and just moved to a big bed. He sleeps fine but it's getting to sleep that has DH and I up half the night. We read a book (maybe 2 if DH is in charge) to DS while he's in bed but he's still not settling down. If we leave the room, he cries and gets out of bed. If we stay he plays/rolls around/doesn't fall asleep. I have tried rocking him to sleep but this doesnt help him adjust to falling asleep in his bed. Help!?
(If there's another thread out there please let me know!)

nunzchucks · May 2014

We have used the SleepEasy Solution book for all of our sleep issues. It's worth a read and has tips thru age 5.

ETA: Link: https://www.amazon.com/The-Sleepeasy-Solution-Exhausted-Parents/dp/0757305601

Read247 · May 2014

The only thing that helped me was being consistent and firm. I'd put him down and close the door. When he got up I put him back in bed and said "it's time to go night night in your big boy bed."

We did this over and over and over until he finally stayed in bed. My DS likes to have music on while he falls asleep. Have you tried that?

It sucked for about a week, but once he realized we were serious he stayed in bed.

drby126 · May 2014

I didn't even think about music - I'll try it tonight! Thank you! We used to have music playing in his room when he was younger... Might just work.

drby126 · May 2014

Good suggestion on the sleep easy solution, I'm up for trying anything at this point.
Thank you!

Read247 · May 2014

@drby126‌ - we play Brian Eno's "ambient music for airports" on his iPod. Each song is 15-20 min, all instrumental meditation type music.

Katieluc106 · May 2014

We have a music/ light machine thing that really helped. Made sure we had an established routine ; brush teeth, wash face, read 1-2 stories and bed time. She's been doing good for the last 5 months since we put her in the big girl bed but she still has nights where she gets up and out and cries. We just lay her back in bed and kiss her good night. Occasionally we will go up stairs a few times before she settles. As much of a pain as it is especially for preggo over here consistency is key

Katieluc106 · May 2014

Also restricting her nap time helps tremendously. She typically sleeps 2 hour 1-3 if she isn't up by 330 we wake her or else bed time is a disaster.

dmahanWed170597 · May 2014

Consistency was the key for us. After about a week of pjs, brushing teeth, hugs and kisses (along with a "stay in bed talk"), books, and a song, DS started to understand the drill. Some nights were still rounds of him getting up and us putting him back to bed and we were as patient as possible with him. We also try to incorporate "helper" duties such as fixing his covers, turning out the lights or helping with the water from the humidifier. He has been in a big boy bed for about 9 months and we still have nights that he is difficult but those are few and far between and can also be a sign of a cold coming on.

gmc222 · May 2014

We converted DD's crib to a toddler bed when she turned 2.5, and lucky for us she didn't really realize she could get out by herself! But we have definitely gone through the phase of her not staying in bed recently. We do let her bring a book in bed and sometimes she will flip through the pages for a bit before falling asleep.

The other thing that has really helped, especially with middle of the night wake-ups, is this clock. She knows when the sun goes down its time for bed, and that she can't get out of bed until the sun comes back up. We have the clock set for the sun to come up at 7am, and I can tell you she's usually in our room at 7:01am!

It's tough, hang in there!

RaeJ004 · May 2014

I'm in the take them back in over and over and over and over camp. After I initially put DD down and said good night when she would come back out I wouldn't say a word just take her back in there. It took a few nights but she finally got the hang of it.

Hairstylist16 · May 2014

I was terrified when we had to switch my toddler especially since he discovered he can climb over the baby gate too but we have the baby camera monitor (no WiFi) and took his toys out and had a nightlight and lullaby music. Then we'd just watch to see when he'd get out and go put him back in bed. It was kind of funny cause he had no idea how we knew when he kept getting out of bed.

Mia081081 · May 2014

gmc222 said:

We converted DD's crib to a toddler bed when she turned 2.5, and lucky for us she didn't really realize she could get out by herself! But we have definitely gone through the phase of her not staying in bed recently. We do let her bring a book in bed and sometimes she will flip through the pages for a bit before falling asleep.

The other thing that has really helped, especially with middle of the night wake-ups, is this clock. She knows when the sun goes down its time for bed, and that she can't get out of bed until the sun comes back up. We have the clock set for the sun to come up at 7am, and I can tell you she's usually in our room at 7:01am!

It's tough, hang in there!

We had a problem with DD waking up too early and got this clock. Worked great: https://www.amazon.com/Onaroo-Childrens-Alarm-Clock-Nightlight/dp/B00EAHSBV4/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1398970801&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=when+to+wake+clock

ncbelle · May 2014

Usually if our kids have had trouble settling it's because we needed to adjust bedtime (typically that they needed to go down earlier and were overtired). We sit with them while they fall asleep but the times when they've had "wiggly" phases, we've just been clear that it's time to settle and don't engage them. We also use music.

sparklenshine_89 · May 2014

Why do I not remember this with my 2 kids? They are 2 and 3... selective memory perhaps? I'm just messing with you OP. The ladies above made some excellent suggestions- be consistent for sure. Also, I never did time-outs in the bedroom because I didn't want them to associate bedtime with punishment.

xnbride · May 2014

We have a nightime routine that must involve a bath and then story, prayers, proud moments, and kisses. Then when lights are out they can play quietly until they fall asleep. As long as they don't get rowdy. Maybe give him a little flash light and a few toys. It helps if they can put themselves to sleep on their own rather then needing you to assist otherwise you will have to do that every night and that is tough.

rainbowdashh · May 2014

Either H or I sits with DD while she's falling asleep. She absolutely hates to be alone in the dark and at this point, whatever gets her to go to sleep is what we'll do.

SecondTimeinMSU · May 2014

Definitely a routine helps a ton. If he doesn't seem to be settling down I'll tell him that he doesn't have to go to sleep, he can quietly play in bed with his stuffed animals but he has to stay in bed. This usually is enough to placate him into not feeling like he is being put to bed but after a little while of quiet playtime in bed he crashes on his own.

drby126 · May 2014

Thank you ladies!! I'm up for trying anything - fingers crossed things start to turn around!

2babymama · May 2014

I sit with my ds after a story and let him tell me what he did today (whatever he remembers) if he gets too loud or wound up I will leave. Also helps that he recently realized that bad boys get in trouble and is ALWAYS asking how he can be a good boy. But he really enjoys telling me about his day

tbmadeamistake · May 2014

We just moved C both into a new room and into a big girl bed (mattress on the floor). She loves her new room, and the biggest issue with bedtime is that she'd rather be running around, playing. We do the same routine we did when she was in her crib (bath, PJs, two books, bed). First week she did awesome and just put herself to sleep in the bed. Then she realized she had the freedom to get out of bed. This past week has been a little more challenging. She has a baby gate that's just about un-climbable, so she plays in her room, reads herself stories, and then at some point will come to the door and whine at us. I literally just call from down here that it's time for night-nights, she should be in bed. She'll actually go and put herself into the bed, with some tears, but is generally out in ten minutes. She's two next week. I think we got super lucky, because I feel like at this age it's a little abnormal for a kiddo to just put themselves to bed like that. The longest she's gone after we leave her room and before she puts herself to bed is a half hour. I figure if she's quiet and happy, meh. She'll figure it out. GL!

ChristineBaker23 · May 2014

We have been struggling with bed time with our 2.5 year old. What has worked the best is to be consistent in our expectations. We have a routine and we stick to it. Bath time, tv time with a timer, when the timer goes off we read a book in bed, then I rub her back, we all say goodnight, and then I explain the bedtime rules that we have: the door has to be shut and the light has to be off and she has to be quiet. She has a very small night light and is allowed to play with her toys as long as she does so quietly and without trying to leave the room. She usually pushes a train around for about five minutes then next thing you know she's curled up in bed with her train fast asleep. I found that trying to make her stay in her bed was just exhausting for everyone involved so we just decided to let her play. It has worked very well for us.
If she is particularly wound up at bedtime I will give her something to look forward to the next day and tell her she needs to get a good sleep in order to do said thing. For example "it's time to go to sleep, but tomorrow when the sun is awake and Eleanor is awake we will cuddle in Mommys bed and watch tv and eat breakfast. But, you HAVE to go to sleep first or we can't cuddle" we will usually talk back and forth for a minute about whatever activity I have mentioned which helps her calm down a little and settle in to go to sleep.

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STMs - any advice?

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Married DH 7/30/11

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