UO Thursday

PSU_Texan · May 2014

Can we do this? I mean I know we have some anti-cupcakers in the house

But let's make them good in the effort of lively debate.

Virgo17 · May 2014

I love Etsy for a lot of things, but when I search "girls 1st birthday outfits" I cringe at 99% of the results. I don't want a tutu larger than my child, lacy leggings, and ruffles as far as the eye can see. I want something cute and a little dressy, but still comfortable for her to wear. I don't get the appeal of these types of kid clothing.

cecilyandgautam · May 2014

ss265 · May 2014

Virgo17 said:

I love Etsy for a lot of things, but when I search "girls 1st birthday outfits" I cringe at 99% of the results. I don't want a tutu larger than my child, lacy leggings, and ruffles as far as the eye can see. I want something cute and a little dressy, but still comfortable for her to wear. I don't get the appeal of these types of kid clothing.

This is one of the reasons I'm happy that I am having another boy. Honestly we were hoping for a girl but now that we are having a boy, I'm focusing on the positives and the simpleness of dressing a boy (shirt, pants, socks, shoes done - no fancy hair accessories etc.) is one of them.

My UO is that I don't understand why people get all bent out of shape if someone wants to have a baby shower for a second child/sex reveal party etc. If you get invited to such an event then simply don't go. Sure it may be rude etc. but who cares what someone else does?

jlaOK · May 2014

Agree about the girl clothes. I've gotten spoiled with DS where my choices are pants/shorts, long sleeve/short sleeve. Now with DD I have to worry about bloomers to match dresses/skirts, is it too cold for sleeveless shirts, is this shirt long enough to wear with leggings/jeggings. Don't even get me started on trying to explain this to DH....

My UO: DS's birthday is next week and I hate that I have to bring in treats for his class. His going to be 4 and asked me to (I have never done anything in past years). I'm already planning a home birthday party and now I have to plan another event. He also wants goody bags and I just don't think that's going to happen. I'm just going to bake cookies and maybe put superhero (his part theme) rings in the frosting. I'm lazy.

PSU_Texan · May 2014

I think entitlement applies to a lot of people these days, regardless of age. Old people think they are "entitled" to have things easy for them because they paid their dues. I've seen so many of us complain about parents/inlaws demanding we come see them even though we're in the trenches of parenting and working.

But I think young people also have an entitlement mentality. I think we've hit a tipping point of people who want what they want when they want it without the willingness to work hard and delay gratification. The confusion between needs and wants is rampant.

Another UO: I don't think every kid should be steered toward 4-year college. Some will never succeed with a generic business degree but could have a great life if they learned a trade.

dashofreality · May 2014

K3am said:

I'm not on board with the concept of "sneaking" veggies into a kid's diet. Yes, your kids need vegetables, but what happens when they're older and preparing their own food and don't know that their pasta sauce was really a concoction of pureed veggies? That their brownies had black bean paste, etc. So now, you've got a kid/tween/pre-teen who not only isn't getting their sneaky veggies in, but also who isn't accustomed to the taste or texture of veggies, has no idea how to prepare them, etc.

I'm all about sneaking in veggies. I love my food processor. It lightens up our meals, stretches my food budget, and it helps all of us get more veggies. I did this before kids though. The majority of the time that I use ground meat I add either ground up carrots or zucchini or both. I will also add onion, green pepper, and carrot to my pasta sauce. We like it.

We also always have a side of some veggie (not chopped or pureed) or salad, with our dinner. I also give my kids frozen peas and corn as a snack (they love it).

I have heard people are against this, I just don't really understand what harm it will do if my kids grow up thinking that tacos have ground beef and zucchini in them.

ss265 · May 2014

beaubecca said:

I don't understand how or why couples keep their finances separate. Unless one is a millionaire or something, there doesn't seem to be a reason for it. I feel like it encourages "my money" and "your money" thinking instead of all the resources as being "ours." In the end I don't care how someone else chooses to live, but it has always struck me odd when couples don't want to combine finances and think from the "we" perspective.

DH and I have both - joint money and separate money. I love the way we do finances and wouldn't change it at all. However, we are both very compatible financially in that we agree on the things we should spend on and we are not picky at all about which accounts the money comes from. We have general rules but if I happen to pay for my lunch using "joint" money, it's no big deal. I think the reason I feel so strongly about having my own money though is because my parents are divorced and it gives me peace of mind to have money that DH can't touch (in the sense an account that he can't empty without me knowing) if god forbid, our marriage happens to go south.

mae0111 · May 2014

DH and I have separate checking, combined savings, and separate savings. He basically spends his entire paycheck on fixed expenses - mortgage, car loans, cable, etc. He is essentially allocated to zero out each month. We do it this way because he's a spender and I'm a saver. He has no interest in saving, but knows it's important. He does have a small savings account for larger "splurges".

I take care of all of the flexible payments - groceries, babysitting, dinner out - plus some fixed expenses, and all savings outside of retirement.

Other reasons:
- I hate the bank he uses, and he hates the bank I use.
- We are both control freaks that want to be heavily involved in the finances.
- We each saw a close relative get into a lot of trouble because they let their spouses handle the finances and didn't pay attention.

Keeping them separate means we each have some skin in the game, and can't get lazy. Works for us. :-??

PSU_Texan · May 2014

LibraryChica said:

PSU_Texan said:

But I think young people also have an entitlement mentality. I think we've hit a tipping point of people who want what they want when they want it without the willingness to work hard and delay gratification. The confusion between needs and wants is rampant.

Nah, I don't buy it.The only group of people this largely applies to are 2 year olds. Anecdata, I know, but I know as many people in their 60s who fit this description as in their 20s. My dad was just telling me about his coworkers who can't afford to retire and how he is baffled because they have the same job/pension as him, live in the same town and often have a second working spouse (my mom hasn't worked in years). The difference? While my parents were saving up to pay off their mortgage his coworkers were buying bigger homes, new trucks and boats. This description applies to 20, 30 and 40 year olds I know. It's not a generational thing.

Every recent generation has thought the upcoming generation was entitled -- my dad's dad thought his was and in the 30s my great-grandfather thought social security would be the ruination of hard work in America. It's lazy thinking. We all do it sometimes -- after all, there are many technically competent and successful older people in my office regardless of my morning's frustrations -- but I don't understand why standing at my desk generalizing one large group of my coworkers is acceptable while generalizing another is clearly not. Bah.

Actually, I totally agree with you. Entitlement applies to all equally. Sorry if that wasn't clear. I see it just as much in people not ready to retire, like you said. So sorry for the generalization..

And I totally agree one group shouldn't get to put down another but if it was reverse, all hell would be breaking lose.... frankly, I see that in other areas, not just age. But that gripe is for another day.

aglenn · May 2014

We have both separate and combined bank accounts. Most of my money goes into my separate accounts, mainly because DH and math do not mix (ironic, given he's an engineer) and it annoys me when he doesn't keep track and ends up messing up the balance I thought we had. Everything is at the same bank so we can easily transfer funds from one to the other as needed but I guess I am just more anal about tracking receipts and knowing my balance. Simple way to reduce irritation in our house and indulge my Type A tendencies.

SoMoNY · May 2014

We have accounts at two banks from when we purchased the house but we both have equal access to each account.

I think it would be odd if we had separate accounts and we didn't know how much the other had in there.

I agree with the post about girls clothes, I find it so difficult to shop for my nieces and it makes me happy to have 2 boys.

emberlee3 · May 2014

Dessert should taste good. Keep the veggies out.

Old people need to learn how to use technology and stop making excuses. I had a 101 year old patient who used her cell phone and surfed the internet with ease. My mother acts like checking her own voicemail is beyond her abilities. Drives me crazy.

dashofreality · May 2014

theresat858 said:

beaubecca said:

.

Whereas I don't understand why you *wouldn't* maintain separate accounts. We have worked out how we divide payments for things, but if I want to spend $200 in a manner that my DH thinks is frivolous, I have the freedom to do so - and he has the same. I don't want to micromanage his money any more than he wants to micromanage mine.

What do you do if one of you loses your job? Got sick or injured and couldn't work? If one person makes more than the other do they get to spend more frivolously? If one makes more than the other and they pay for the house, is it 'their' house and they get more say on what goes on under their roof? These are honestly things I just don't understand about this type arrangement.

I understand having separate accounts for logistics. I also understand each spouse getting x amount to spend as they see fit. I do not understand the my money and his money in a marriage.

SoMoNY · May 2014

I have no problem expecting people to use the language the firm does business in.

I also don't want the others stuff in shared space to feel uncomfortable during their time at work. Want to practice a foreign language skill - do it at lunch but not in a shared office.

kristennd · May 2014

I'd prefer people speak a foreign language in an elevator. Then I don't have to overhear their conversation.

Personal conversations in a shared work environment are distracting regardless. I don't really see a way to be extra bothered by the language that doesn't involve bias.

kristennd · May 2014

We have both joint and individual accounts and it all works out just fine for us.

What I don't understand is the "My husband pissed me off so now I'm going to get him back by blowing joint funds on new shoes." I see this over and over on FB, with all kinds of "You go girl!" responses. Not healthy.

djm31012 · May 2014

i dont care if people have separate accounts or joint accounts. DH doesnt dictate what i spend money on and vice versa. when it comes to joint larger purchases we discuss them. if i want to buy new shoes or he wants to buy a new golf club...we do it without mention what kind of a marriage would it be if we had to give each other permission to spend money? thats a joke. i guess if one of us were very irresponsible or had a gambling problem, etc thats a different story. but a marriage is a partnership and respecting one another. he is free to do what he wants, and i am the same way....that doesnt require separate bank accounts.

alli2672 · May 2014

PrivacyWanted said:

I think we, as a society, should put music, art, woodworking, home ec, - all the "extras" back into schools. I think we've become far too obsessed with test scores and the "basics".
Studies show kids exposed to music for example do better in Math. Art has been shown to help with self esteem and thinking skills.
Wood working and home ec, and auto shop helped people I know find their passion, and current careers. Yet none of those are available at the high school I went to now (but it does well in testing and is ranked highly).

Love it. Can we throw in a parenting class for high school seniors too?

sugarbear0524 · May 2014

My language-related UO is when people who can speak English won't. I trained apartment managers, and I can't tell you how many times an apartment resident would come in speaking a different language and get mad that I didn't speak it back to them. They would sigh, roll their eyes, and resort to English.

First of all, don't get mad at me (or the manager I'm training) because I don't know your language. I know and use English because that is the primary business language in America. Second, if you know English, use it! You will get what you want much quicker.

ss265 · May 2014

I'm surprised by all the "speak English" comments. If two co-workers are more fluent in another language other than English and are conversing with each other in that language, then what's the big deal? Now I did grow up in a country where Mandarin was widely spoken and it pissed me off when I was with a group of people where I am the only non-Chinese person and the entire conversation was in Mandarin and no one had any consideration for me not being able to follow or participate in the conversation - that is rude.

@beaubecca, I knew someone would call me out on that. The main reason we have separate accounts is for frivolous spending where we don't have to check in with the other person. We both work so it works for us. If one of us stopped working, we would re-think the situation. When my parents got divorced, it was with absolutely no warning. While I plan to never divorce my spouse (mainly because of what I experienced with my parents) and even if we did divorce, I don't think my DH is petty enough to clean out our joint accounts, for me personally it gives me peace of mind to know that if the situation got that bad, I would still have money for food etc. It is just what works for me.

jlaOK · May 2014

theresat858 said:

K3am said:

Here's a new one that just came up.. While I understand someone may not speak English as a first language and enjoys finding coworkers who speak their same native language, I think it's rude to get into an elevator and speak in a language other than English.

I agree. I used to have coworkers who both spoke Arabic (though it was a 2nd/3rd language for both of them) and would have entire conversations in our shared office in Arabic. They stopped once the realized it was rather annoying to the three additional people sharing the office who mainly spoke English (also a 2nd language for one of the coworkers).

I think the opposite. I once shared an office with a Persian woman and I was jealous that she got to speak to her husband on the phone in Farsi (which I can't understand) and I had to speak to mine in English where she could totally listen to and understand our whole conversation.

jlaOK · May 2014

ss265 said:

I'm surprised by all the "speak English" comments. If two co-workers are more fluent in another language other than English and are conversing with each other in that language, then what's the big deal? Now I did grow up in a country where Mandarin was widely spoken and it pissed me off when I was with a group of people where I am the only non-Chinese person and the entire conversation was in Mandarin and no one had any consideration for me not being able to follow or participate in the conversation - that is rude.
@beaubecca, I knew someone would call me out on that. The main reason we have separate accounts is for frivolous spending where we don't have to check in with the other person. We both work so it works for us. If one of us stopped working, we would re-think the situation. When my parents got divorced, it was with absolutely no warning. While I plan to never divorce my spouse (mainly because of what I experienced with my parents) and even if we did divorce, I don't think my DH is petty enough to clean out our joint accounts, for me personally it gives me peace of mind to know that if the situation got that bad, I would still have money for food etc. It is just what works for me.

Do you have any limits on frivolous spending. What if the other person bought a $2000 TV without consulting the other?

DH and I had separate accounts when we first got married. He is a spender and I thought it would help. Turns out it is much easier to have one account that I manage. We each get cash to spend and when it's gone, it's gone.

ss265 · May 2014

jlaOK said:

ss265 said:

I'm surprised by all the "speak English" comments. If two co-workers are more fluent in another language other than English and are conversing with each other in that language, then what's the big deal? Now I did grow up in a country where Mandarin was widely spoken and it pissed me off when I was with a group of people where I am the only non-Chinese person and the entire conversation was in Mandarin and no one had any consideration for me not being able to follow or participate in the conversation - that is rude.
@beaubecca, I knew someone would call me out on that. The main reason we have separate accounts is for frivolous spending where we don't have to check in with the other person. We both work so it works for us. If one of us stopped working, we would re-think the situation. When my parents got divorced, it was with absolutely no warning. While I plan to never divorce my spouse (mainly because of what I experienced with my parents) and even if we did divorce, I don't think my DH is petty enough to clean out our joint accounts, for me personally it gives me peace of mind to know that if the situation got that bad, I would still have money for food etc. It is just what works for me.

Do you have any limits on frivolous spending. What if the other person bought a $2000 TV without consulting the other?

DH and I had separate accounts when we first got married. He is a spender and I thought it would help. Turns out it is much easier to have one account that I manage. We each get cash to spend and when it's gone, it's gone.

No, we don't have limits but we are pretty open with our spending with each other and we are both pretty frugal. Our personal accounts are only used for meals where the other person isn't there and personal expenses like shopping for clothes etc. Those accounts are not meant to be used for us to save personal money, more for us to buy things for ourselves without feeling that we need to check in with the other person. It works for us though because we are very compatible financially.

jf198400 · May 2014

PrivacyWanted said:
To be clear my issue is limited to the work environment - which in theory should be a collaborative place where there aren't a bunch of personal conversations going on. And I don't just limit it to speaking in a different language, but also having texts, or email conversations where one (or more) co-workers is excluded.

I don't care what language you speak at Macy's or the grocery store, or in the neighborhood, or while I'm getting my nails done.

I agree. My current workplace has a diverse population. I find it very off putting when I walk into the lunch room and I see one table of Asian women, one table of Indian women, and one table of middle aged white women.

emberlee3 · May 2014

If I get on an elevator and two people in the elevator decide to gossip about me, I prefer they do it in another language.

djm31012 · May 2014

@melohdy I can't tell if u agree or disagree with me . I did say that if one of us were an irresponsible spender than maybe it would be a different story so if your DH spends frivilously as you say it might make sense . My point was ... I don't have to clear things with DH and he doesn't have to clear them with me . All our money is OUR money. He has as much right to any of it as I do. No I don't expect him to drop 3k on something without mentioning it. But I can't think of one time where one of us wanted to buy something or did buy something and the other got angry about it . I just don't see that happening . We discuss things that are impactful and the random other items we each by for ourselves are never an issue. I wouldn't buy myself a 2k bag or something without talking about it - that to me is irresponsible and disrespectful to him .

emberlee3 · May 2014

K3am said:
@emberlee3, I prefer they do it when I'm not in earshot and fake it to my face. It makes having to see them everyday that much more pleasant.

Right, but my statement presupposes that they are doing it within earshot. In that particular situation doing it in another language would be nicer.

I'm just being goofy and uncollaborative when I should be working.

ss265 · May 2014

jf198400 said:

To be clear my issue is limited to the work environment - which in theory should be a collaborative place where there aren't a bunch of personal conversations going on. And I don't just limit it to speaking in a different language, but also having texts, or email conversations where one (or more) co-workers is excluded.

I don't care what language you speak at Macy's or the grocery store, or in the neighborhood, or while I'm getting my nails done.
I agree. My current workplace has a diverse population. I find it very off putting when I walk into the lunch room and I see one table of Asian women, one table of Indian women, and one table of middle aged white women.

I think this is just the societal norm - people tend to hang out/socialize with other people of the same race. Do I agree with it? Well considering that my husband and I are different races, obviously not. But I also recognize that I am the exception, not the norm.

People tend to stick with what is familiar to them - if you have two parents of the same race and all their friends are the same race, then you would obviously gravitate towards others of the same race as well. Language is definitely a consideration but it is also about what is familiar.

itsmevkb · May 2014

MamaB828 said:

I hate Starbucks coffee! I have no idea the appeal in it, it tastes like burnt coffee to me.

I don't hate Starbucks but I refuse to call what are small, medium and large drinks, talls, venti and whatever hell else names they are using.

shannm · May 2014

jf198400 said:

PrivacyWanted said:
To be clear my issue is limited to the work environment - which in theory should be a collaborative place where there aren't a bunch of personal conversations going on. And I don't just limit it to speaking in a different language, but also having texts, or email conversations where one (or more) co-workers is excluded.

I don't care what language you speak at Macy's or the grocery store, or in the neighborhood, or while I'm getting my nails done.
I agree. My current workplace has a diverse population. I find it very off putting when I walk into the lunch room and I see one table of Asian women, one table of Indian women, and one table of middle aged white women.

Eh, this doesn't bother me. To me lunch is personal time. Would it be nice to all sit together? Sure. Does it hurt me in some way if they don't? That they want to take a break from speaking a second language? Nah.

However, in a common work space, talking about work? Needs to be in the common tongue. It makes for a much more collaborative work environment. So annoying to hear a conversation in another language right next to you that has scientific words in English related to your project dispersed within. And I will say 90% of the foreigners I work with agree with me.

kristennd · May 2014

K3am said:

I work in a building with about 130 people onsite. I know every single one by name. Completely ignoring or disregarding someone in the elevator is pretty much taboo around here. I don't know how many conversations I've had about weather, my daughter, the last Giants game, etc. etc.

That would be torture for me. Our building has just 35 people but we don't usually make small talk in elevators. Everyone gets along but we're still left to our own thoughts.

DiveFrog · May 2014

djm31012 said:

i dont care if people have separate accounts or joint accounts. DH doesnt dictate what i spend money on and vice versa. when it comes to joint larger purchases we discuss them. if i want to buy new shoes or he wants to buy a new golf club...we do it without mention what kind of a marriage would it be if we had to give each other permission to spend money? thats a joke. i guess if one of us were very irresponsible or had a gambling problem, etc thats a different story. but a marriage is a partnership and respecting one another. he is free to do what he wants, and i am the same way....that doesnt require separate bank accounts.

I agree to a point. It DOES require you talk about money and create some general spending guidelines that you both will adhere to. We don't have separate accounts, but we do have a general rule that any purchase over a $100 will be at the very least brought to each other's attention. We do set a monthly budget on how much we each have to spend eating out for lunch, after work drinks and personal expenses. If we didn't talk about our spending with each other and agree to a household budget then we wouldn't be successful at managing our money at all.

mommaoftrips · May 2014

mae0111 said:
DH and I have separate checking, combined savings, and separate savings. He basically spends his entire paycheck on fixed expenses - mortgage, car loans, cable, etc. He is essentially allocated to zero out each month. We do it this way because he's a spender and I'm a saver. He has no interest in saving, but knows it's important. He does have a small savings account for larger "splurges".

I take care of all of the flexible payments - groceries, babysitting, dinner out - plus some fixed expenses, and all savings outside of retirement.

Other reasons:
- I hate the bank he uses, and he hates the bank I use.
- We are both control freaks that want to be heavily involved in the finances.
- We each saw a close relative get into a lot of trouble because they let their spouses handle the finances and didn't pay attention.

Keeping them separate means we each have some skin in the game, and can't get lazy. Works for us. :-??

We are just like this - just because we have separate accounts doesn't mean we don't discuss our budgets and go over our spending on a regular basis, it's just separate.

SoMoNY · May 2014

amy052006 said:

SoMoNY said:

I have no problem expecting people to use the language the firm does business in.
I also don't want the others stuff in shared space to feel uncomfortable during their time at work. Want to practice a foreign language skill - do it at lunch but not in a shared office.

People in my office do business in China. Are they expected to speak in Mandarin when discussing the weather?

Does it sound like these people were doing business in Arabic?

They are being paid to work, not to practice a language that is probably not relevant to their job.

Want a personalized experience?

UO Thursday

Re: UO Thursday

Choose Another Board

Search Boards